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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be irritated by my job share partner before she's even got the job...?

44 replies

wotnopulling · 09/10/2008 15:17

interviewing for my job share partner today but it's pretty plain who is going to get it - a woman who stood in for me for time to time while i was on maternity leave but who i've never met.
aibu to think it discourteous of her to not even ring/email/meet me before the interview as other candidates have. ok, she might know the job - but she doesn't know me and if we're going to share a job isn't it common sense to meet the potential other half? doesn't say much for her people skills (which you need in my job).
so am i right to be gloomy about the prospect of her getting job or am i reading too much into it (ie arrogance and lack of social skills)?

OP posts:
FabioCatello · 09/10/2008 15:18

maybe she thinks its arrogant to phone you, it might sound presumptuous

If it were me I would want to do things by the book.

You are reading far too much into this.

RubySlippers · 09/10/2008 15:19

YABU

you will meet her at the interview

you are reading way too much into it

Original poster
wotnopulling · 09/10/2008 15:22

it is expected in my company that you 'pick the brains' of the person leaving job you're applying for, their collegues and those they work with/for before an interview.
the only people you're not meant to contact are those conducting the interviews (and ask them how to get job). Three guesses who this woman did take the time to phone....

OP posts:
lulumama · 09/10/2008 15:23

YABU

she might not want to call, as she might not want to be seen to be encouraging partiality

why would she presume she is getting the job? there is an interview and selection process

don;t make her an enemy before you are even working together

you are already making this a negative experience, before she has set foot in the door

Original poster
wotnopulling · 09/10/2008 15:23

no, i'm not doing interview. infact, as we will split the week, i might never actually meet her...

OP posts:
lulumama · 09/10/2008 15:24

i would not phone you if you are as prickly as you are coming across on here

lulumama · 09/10/2008 15:24

then why do you caaaaaaaaaare??

RubySlippers · 09/10/2008 15:25

i think if you do end up job sharing with this person you will have to wipe the slate clean

you sound fairly ticked off with her already

Original poster
wotnopulling · 09/10/2008 15:26

contacting me doesn't mean she presumes she'll get the job - the opposite is true. other candidates contacted me to find out about job etc. the fact she doesn't feel it necessary suggests she feels she knows it all already.

OP posts:
Original poster
wotnopulling · 09/10/2008 15:29

hmm, maybe you're right. I don't care that much, just had an idle moment and wondered if i was being prickly so thought i'd post.

i did feel better towards her before everyone who has worked with her told me she was a pita... but, i know what you'll say. i should speak as i find.

i will endeavour to be open minded. honest.

and being prickly is a v important part of my job lulumama

OP posts:
southeastastra · 09/10/2008 15:29

why don't you like her

flowerybeanbag · 09/10/2008 15:32

But doesn't she know it all already, if she's done your job before?

DO you have input into the decision? Doesn't sound like it. I would say ringing the people who do to find out and discuss shows initiative at best, or is harmless at worst. She may not know she is 'supposed' to ring you, or may feel that as she has worked there before it's not necessary.

It would have been a sensible idea, I agree, but I don't think you need to read all these negative things into the fact that she didn't.

Why would you not ever meet? Will you not initiate a meeting to discuss the job, handover, all that stuff, and to make sure you are in touch with each other?

Original poster
wotnopulling · 09/10/2008 15:32

cos everyone says she's a pain in the arse know all, humourless and a clock-watcher.

apart from the other pompous pain the arse in the office, who likes her.

so glad to back at work!

(ps i'm not at work now so this is not company time!)

OP posts:
mazzystartled · 09/10/2008 15:36

why not wait and see
and make up your own mind
and worry about it if you don't get on, rather than create a self-fulfilling prohecy
i agree its stressful though, when something about your job is out of your control

Original poster
wotnopulling · 09/10/2008 15:37

no-one knows it all.

she knows the company and all she did was annoy the intervewer by ringing them - they kept telling me how annoying she'd been and how she was going to get the job despite being a pain! contacting them pre-interview breaks the unwritten rules of conduct (it's a funny place).
I kept quiet and just said I'd never met her but had heard her work was good from collegue (the one who does like her). I would never suggest i was dubious about her while at work - v poor thing to do. but i feel i'm amongst anonymous strangers on mumsnet so can be utterly (un)reasonable in my prejudgments!

OP posts:
lulumama · 09/10/2008 15:40

ok, so prickly is ok..

so maybe if she is prickly too you will be fine?

if everyone thinks she is a PITA and she is breaking code of conduct, will she realistically get the job?

flowerybeanbag · 09/10/2008 15:49

Ok so she doesn't know it all, but you take my point, she knows what she's doing more than the other candidates.

If she's made a pain of herself to the interviewer why will she get the job anyway? SHe can't have been that bad otherwise they'd go for someone else.

Original poster
wotnopulling · 09/10/2008 16:03

other candidates not up to it. v skilled job you know .

OP posts:
EachPeachPearMum · 09/10/2008 17:40

I am surprised you are not part of the recruitment process- who knows your job better than you do?

justneedsomesleep · 09/10/2008 19:36

wasn't even going to read your actual post - just saw the title

"to be irritated by my job share partner before she's even got the job"

well YES, YABU!

She hasn't got the job yet! Not her fault!

Then iread your post and still feel YABU. she's done nothing wrong, completely right as far as i can see and all you want her to do is phone you and suck up to you to boost your feelings of self importance!

Sorry, YABU

anyfucker · 09/10/2008 20:01

you have no input to who gets the other half of your job

that is how it should be

get over it

however, it doesn't mean you are not entitled to an opinion , but i think you should at least give her a chance if she is successful

more · 09/10/2008 20:02

Am i getting this right so first you write an application for an internal post then you receive confirmation that you are going to get an interview then there is this new rule that you have to call the person you are either going to replace or job share with to chat about the job what it entails and how well you think you will be able to do it, then you go for the interview where you also chat about the job and what it entails and how well you will be able to do it!!!?? Is this not way OTT.

pointydog · 09/10/2008 20:16

I think the job share partner should be on teh interview panel. I was for mine. You are the two who have to know the job best.

And I think you are sounding very defensive because you;re just back from mat leave and you can't help seeing this woman as a bit of a threat.

DoubleBluff · 09/10/2008 20:21

YABU.

Why does she have to suck up to you?
She's been doing the job, so she knows about it.
Maybe she thinks you should ring her?
She has been doing the job more recently than you!

Surfermum · 09/10/2008 20:30

If I were applying for a job share I would want to meet my other "half" to make sure I thought I could get on with them/work with them, so I think it's reasonable of you to have wanted her to do that.

I would also expect to have an input into the decision making process.

And if I were having a conversation about the applicant with one of the interviewers I would voice my concern about not having met her.