To be annoyed with my sister?

[Elliegant]

Hi all,
So here is the background. I have 1 ds who is 3 and just started nursery. When he was 8 months old i went back to work part-time (3 days a week), ds gran looked after him for 2 of the days and my sister for the other 1.
I now only work 1 day a week and my sister collects ds from nursery on that day for me.
I have just found out from a mom i am quite friendly with that sister has been telling all at school gates how she has had to raise my ds because of me working!! Apparently she weaned and potty trained him single handedly.

It has really upset me, it simply is not true, how can she class minding him for 1 day a week as rearing him.

[notsoseriousanymore]

Let me guess?

Your Dsis doesn't have kids, this is the closest she has to a child and she mid 30s and not in a position to have her own child.

Honestly, if you otherwise have a good relationship with your sister, like her looking after your DS and your DS is happy with it, I'd leave it.

Just laugh with the other mums about how your DSis only looks after your son one day a week and, while you are happy for her help, she doesn't really have a clue about raising kids.

Honestly, I would not cause a big thing about it because almost def. your Dsis isn't trying to be nasty, she just doesn't get what having kids entails.

[Elliegant]

Hi notso,
Just the opposite i'm afraid. She is in her forties and has to teenage daughters.

I think you are right, I am not going to say anything as I do appreciate her help.

But when I think back to when my nieces were younger I had no kids then and plenty of cash and she was on benefits I did everything I could to help. Bought clothes, school uniforms had nieces to stay weekends and took them on holiday, I still do infact took youngest on holiday with us this year. Not trying to sound like a saint but I have never once said to anyone that i raised them! Sorry just need to get it off my chest I think.

[Elliegant]

sorry two daughters

[MortBlackCatResident]

Could your friend be shit stirring?

If not this may be the price you have to pay for her having your DS 1 day a week.

[Elliegant]

Mort, don't think so she's not usually a gossip and was trying to laugh it off, as did I at the time.

Defo not going to say anything, I know its not worth it. I know its only 1 day a week but it does make a big difference to our budget and I couldn't do it without sis help, just wish she would think before she speaks.

[MortBlackCatResident]

Yes that's not fair on you.

[FlirtyThirty]

I'm afriad I would say smething...but gently. Maybe even laugh it off as...'someone at the school said the funniest thing to me today...they seem to think that you have brought up x and not me. Goodness knows where they got that idea...it did upset me though'. (or words to that effect...) That way she knows it's upsetting for you, without it getting into a big 'he said, she said' accusation...

[quickdrawnandquartered]

I'd go with FlirtyThirty idea.

I'd be I look after dn 2 days a week but would never DREAM of telling anyone I was bringing her up. It's complete rot anyway.

[pamelat]

It might have been exagerrated by the "friend" who has told you, is she generally quite protetive owards you?

FlirtyThirtys dea is a good one

[Elliegant]

thanks all,
Flirtythirtys - good idea, will try and drop it in casual conversation and hopefully leave it at that.

Friend not protective, we just chat at school, think she thought it was funny.

[AuntieMaggie]

"Let me guess?

Your Dsis doesn't have kids, this is the closest she has to a child and she mid 30s and not in a position to have her own child."

Is that how we act? Talk about generalisation.

[Elliegant]

No its not Auntiemaggie, until i has ds I didn't have kids and was in mid thirties and desperately wanted my own child. All i tried to do for my Sister was help out as much as possible which I suppose is why I feel hurt now.