To give up a secure respected job because I am sick of it

[anurse]

I have name changed to as know some mnetters in RL. Advanced apologies for rambling post..

I have been working as a nurse for nearly 10 years. I now work part time and I am so sick of it. I am fed up with how much it has changed even in those 10 years. I am ashamed of the amount of time I spent filling in useless paperwork and learning about sparkly new initiatives that I know will be dead a buried in a few months. I am sick of working in a unsafe, understaffed environment. I don't think I can stand it all any longer. I only work part time and they want to talk to me about increasing my hours now DD is older. I would rather eat my own arm than work any more hours than I do now.

The final straw was when today DD said I want to be a nurse like you when I grow up mummy and I thought, no please don't be darling, be anything else you want to be but please don't be a nurse (of course I didn't say that to her).

I have just sat doing the sums and it would be feasibly possible for me to leave nursing as DH has a good job and I could pick up a part time job just to give us enough extra. However, my very sensible side is saying that I earn good money in my current job and it is a secure job because nurses are always needed. If I stay in my job we can start to save to buy our own house, if I leave we won't be able to. My DH would be very disappointed at this.

So wise mnetters, would I be unreasonable to turn my back on a secure, ok paid job?

Could you not bank nurse instead to give you some variety?

Could you change where you work. So nurse in a different environment. My Mum has worked for years (20+) as a district nurse - the job has changed a lot in the last few years (for the worse) but she's always said she could never work in a ward again.

Or from talking to nurse friends different wards seems to have very different feels to them.

Can you not just change your job but continue to work under the NHS umbrella. What about taking another job as a temporary measure as a nursing auxilliary. This way you still have your qualifications to fall back on but you'll have none of the responsibility that goes with being a trained nurse.

Can you be more specific about what is getting you down. Is it the paperwork, your colleagues, unsocial hours?

I think, in the current climate, that giving up a secure job isn't such a good idea. But I can wholly sympathise with working in a job that doesn't do it for you any more. I gave up one myself some years ago and it was the best thing I ever did.

If you hate it that much sooner or later it will either make you ill with stress and depression or you will start fucking up on the job and get sacked. A job one loathes is never a good thing in the long term.
But in the present climate, you do need to think it through. As ilove says, how about bank nursing (which I guess is like being a nurse temp? Not in the job myself so don't know). Or work out which bits you like the most and maybe consider retraining or applying for something similar (HV or midwife or dentist or something?).

I could bank nurse, yes that is an option. I am a mental health nurse (should have said that) though so a fair bit of travelling would be involved as the units here are quite spread out.

Are you a NHS hospital nurse?

Could you work in a GP surgery or in a private hospital instead?

I gave up a university lectureship for all the reasons you list in your post. I used to fantasise about crashing my car into a bus on the way home so that I wouldn't have to go to work.

I have not regretted it for a second.

Admittedly, we had already bought a house when I gave up my job, so it's a slightly different situation. But the eating-your-own-arm comment rings so many bells with me that your psychological well-being may need to take precedence over your financial well-being. Even if your DH were disappointed, I'm sure he'd be horrified if he thought that your house were purchased at the cost of your happiness?

Anyone can deal with jobs that are boring, tedious and which generally don't bring satisfaction. But a job that actively makes you miserable really is something else...

If you are a mental health nurse, could you not retrain as a counsellor/therapist?

I'm at that point too. Although we have a house with a v small mortgage we can't manage of DH's income. So I'm stuck with it .

I have to fall back on fantasies about lottery wins and inheritances.

If you really feel that way about it and you can manage without your job I must admit I'd be very tempted.

CMHT work? different pressures to the work, more your own boss.

CBT course to work as a therapist?

Residential home manager? Private hospital (unbelievably different environment)?

Teaching/training at the local uni?

Sorry just replied to first post then saw all other replies. It is the place where I work that is getting me down, so perhaps I am being abit rash. I didn't even think of doing some work as a nursing auxillary to take away some of the responsibility.

What is getting me down the most is the politics I suppose. I just wish they cared more about people than they do about follwing the next new thing and changing all the goalposts. I have always worked on a ward and I couldn't imagine myself ever doing community based work, I do like the shifts and unsocial hours. I always refused promotion because I loved being a front line nurse. I think that deep down there is something stopping me just leaving. Now I'm thinking even more about it, I just can't stand seeing people treated the way I do at the place I do now, whilst managers are prancing around thinking how bloody wonderful it is.

I think you are all right, I do need to make some sort of change as I am crying even just sitting here thinking about my job. But perhaps it doesn't have to be such a drastic change. I think I am so fed up that I am in danger of cutting off my nose to spite my face IYSWIM.

anurse... oh you poor love

I was a mental health nurse on the verge of a breakdown due to the job. I walked out of the ward one morning and never went back. DH was unstandably concerned, but supportive. He hated seeing me so miserable (I used to cry in the car on the way to work).

I went to college and did a medical secretarial diploma. It made us pretty skint for two years but was well worth it. I also temped in the college holidays so built up my secretarial experience.

I finally ended up as PA to a consultant psychiatrist. Same field, different job. I love it and I still get my NHS pension. The money ain't that much less either.

i left psych nursing 12 years ago, hated the 105-120% bed occupancy, the chemical cosh as only treatment of any use with so few staff. i got into major debt/stress doing it, and had no kids at the time. but the relief was life changing, despite the challenges. i do't think it is a mentally healthy job for the long term, and you do seriously need to work a way out of it if you feel like you do. can you stick it while you retrain, knowing you're on your way out may help you cope, if you really feel you have to stay for a time? do an OU course, or something very directly practical. the poster who made the point about going admin side seems to have made the best of her past experience? but don't stick it resenting the financial neccessity if there is a glimpse of a way out. if you have the work ethic and a reasonable plan, you can make a happier life for yourself, i'lm sure.

That does sound familiar themoon66, that is how I feel, miserable. I am going to talk to DH tonight and look into joining the bank first rather than just leaving nursing altogether. I might find somewhere I like better, and also I can pick up auxillary shifts together with qualified shifts which will give me much more control.

career dev loans. worth a think?

Trust me - this is not the time to give up your job. I can assure you, times are going to get very harsh, even if you have 10 million pounds to your name.

When Banks go bankrupt, as they have recently, it is a sign that things are very bad.

You may find that you may be made redundant in any case next year. Read The Financial Times to get a sense of reality - you will soon change your mind.

I do not apologise for the abruptness of my previous post - but I do feel 100% sympathetic towards your plight. I worked with nulear waste at one time in a state owned remote instillation, and it was a God forsaken job. I loathed it.

i have a nurse pal who felt the same way you do.

she is in A&E and pushing 50 and physically it was getting more and more demanding. she'd also been assaulted a few times and REALLY wanted to jack it in.

but she has a mortgage to pay and even though her son is grown and flown the nest, she's divorced and on her own.

it took some time, but she's now a nurse in a doctor's surgery and doing SO much better!

i think trying to switch would be a better optoin in this climate.

Could you consider working for a community mental health team (preferably managed by a social worker), it would be a shame for your skills to be wasted and people do tend to prefer not being managed by health professionals.

Thanks for all further replies, have had cup of tea, cake and a calm down and it is more sensible to work towards a change rather than just giving up, which is exactly what I wanted to do this morning. So my new plan of action is to go over to bank nursing to get a feel for a few jobs so that I can start thinking about which move would be best for me. I know that I can't stay where I am, but I also don't need to be so drastic I'm going to sit tonight and look into courses at the OU and find out what is around and I might even have a look at switching to counselling.