To consider asking dd father for maintenance when I have told him I don't want it and he has another child to support.

[twinsetandpearls]

I have not taken child support for my dd as we have never really needed it, I didn;t want to have to rely on him , I didn't like how he earnt his money and I knew he had a child to support.

But I may be leaving my dp in a few months and money will be tight. To be honest even if I stay with dp we may need the maintenance as we have some money problems after taking out a loan for medical bills ( to treat my depression (caused in part by dd father's abusive behaviour) and we have still not sold our house so we are paying mortgage plus rent.

I really do not want to have to ask for the money but I may have to swallow my pride. But am I being unfair to ask for maintenance out of the blue after saying I did not want it.

I agree with you twinklemegan which is why I have not taken maintenance since he had the child even though I thought he should never have had the second child.

I do think it is wrong however that the second child takes priority simply because she does not want to work. I am not saying that she should work but simply that she cannot expect to have the same lifestyle as me because I work.

I am not sure if they have a csa arrangement as they have only split up a few months ago and tbh it is none of my business. She is only young and gets lots of help from her parents and I am sure my ex husband is giving her money as she has rented a flat in London ( I could not afford to live in London but it is rather mean spirited of me to say that) and the child ( he is 2) looked well dressed and cared for ( she has even put his name down for a private school!)