to tell my sister she's wrong even when she says I know nothing about it

[Marchbirthday]

My sister works in the fostering field and her county got very low marks in some sort of audit recently. Although the fostering team were praised, the whole county got black marks because most of the children go out of county to be fostered. Surrey has lots of children who need fostering but most people are too busy working or have small homes and don't have room to foster - according to my sister. She is peed off with ME because I dared to say I think they should stood still stay near their parents, even if the parents have got sicko stuff happening and it is hard to get placements nearby. . She thinks I've got no idea of the real world and live in la, la, la land!

YABU

So what's your solution March? How would you make more homes available in Surrey? I agree with your principle but how are you going to make it work?

I agree with your sister.

Where do you suggest they place the children, if there are lots of children in the county but no foster carers?

Isn't it better to be fostered outside the area than not fostered at all? Because that's the alternative.

Your scenario would be lovely in an ideal world. We don't live in an ideal world so the best has to be made of the resources available. And for me it's best that the children have a foster carer, no matter where they are, if the alternative is no foster carer at all.

you've got no idea of the real world and live in la la land.

In principle the idea is right but in reality if there are not enough foster carers in the area then what are they supposed to do?

And really why should the system be pandering to the needs of the parents - if you've got to the point where your child has been taken in to care then really you forego the right to start demanding that the children be placed near you....

YABU. We are currently going through the process of being approved to foster children, and SS have a nightmare getting people to do it...

If there aren't enough foster carers, what do you propose is done? You think it is not good, maybe it's not, but what do you suggest is done to change it, where are the children to be placed? Or do you think that if foster carers are not available nearby, the children should remain in abusive homes until a carer becomes available? Or perhaps fostering should be mandatory? you must have some thoughts, why not offer them to the ss team, maybe it's something they haven't thought of.

Not always wannaBe some children with SN are fostered at weekends as respite for the parents/siblings and sometimes the parents are ill and can't look after the children. In these cases it's beneficial for the children to be close to home.
MB is enough being done to promote foster care in the county?

Sorry but there simply aren't enough foster families to make that practical ...there are already far too many children in homes as it is...if a good placement comes up out of the area I think it's too good an opportunity to miss.

I don't think you're being unreasonable to think children should be fostered as near to home as poss, but if the foster homes aren't there, individual SW's can't do a lot about it. Having said that, it's up to the local council to endeavor to recruit local foster carers as effectively as possible. You have to look at whether the county in question is doing enough to promote fostering and make it possible for as many types of families as possible to do it.

wannabe it's not about the rights of the parents to have their children placed near them. It's about the rights of the children to be placed near their parents so that they can maintain their relationships with them and when and if it's appropriate, go back home (unless it's a long term fostering arrangement).