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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Probably am but...

22 replies

MrsSnape · 03/10/2008 16:03

DS1 is out at his friends house until 8.45pm.

I missed karate on Monday and really want to make the time up so suggested to DS2 (7) that we go tonight, just the two of us (the kids train too). He said no so I told him he didn't have to train, he could take his DS and sit in a corner playing on that for an hour and a half, he said no and went in a grump.

Am I bit disapointed as I'd really like to go. Am I being unreasonable? we don't often go on Fridays so I am aware that DS was probably expecting a quiet night in with me whilst his brother is out but...

OP posts:

littlelapin · 03/10/2008 16:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

kitbit · 03/10/2008 16:07

V difficult to do an AIBU thread when you're talking about a situation with a child! I don't think YABU however I wouldn't necessarily expect a 7 year old to understand that either so you might remain in deadlock until after the training session would have been anyway...unless you can pull some good old fashioned bribery out of the bag

SammyK · 03/10/2008 16:07

I second what the rabbit said

SoupDragon · 03/10/2008 16:08

He's 7. He is not in charge.

Hassled · 03/10/2008 16:10

AGreed - you get to decide whether or not you go, not a 7 year old. Let him win this battle and you are setting yourself up for a lot more "grumps" (yes, I know I sound like someone's MIL ).

nolongeraworriedmummy · 03/10/2008 16:10

your the adult, its YOUR decision whether you go and train or not, dd always says no but loves it when shes there, go get your karate gi and take him, if he doesnt want to train he can always sulk in the corner at karate instead of at home.

Original poster

MrsSnape · 03/10/2008 16:10

I've tried bribing him, didn't work

I know I shouldn't let him control me but to be fair he has been VERY patient with the whole karate thing. Me and DS1 are really into it, as I'm a single parent DS2 had to come with us to training even though he didn't like it and ended up having to sit quietly in a corner for 2 hours, 3 nights a week just so we could train.

He has now rejoined the class (but I suspect only to please me) and I don't want to push it IYSWIM?

OP posts:

mayorquimby · 03/10/2008 16:13

christ that sounds like a nightmare for him.
tough one as you can't let him control you, but really sounds like he has no interest and has to sit on the side-lines 6 hours a week while you and ds1 have the time of your lifes.
does he do any other sports?

Dropdeadfred · 03/10/2008 16:16

I wouldn't make him - can't you get a babysitter for karate nights?

Original poster

MrsSnape · 03/10/2008 16:16

He did tennis for a while but he's a ... "difficult child" and got thrown out. (read my other threads!). I tried him with Beavers but being around his friends sent him mental/hyper and if I'd let him stay I'm guessing it wouldn't have been long before he got thrown out of that either.

He really behaves at karate though but I suspect that is down to him being somewhat intimidated by the instructor.

OP posts:

pooka · 03/10/2008 16:17

I wouldn't force it. He's only 7, it's Friday and the end of the school week. Have a quiet night in. (sounds like he's generally being as supportive as a 7yr old can be of a hobby that he is not especially interested in).

Original poster

MrsSnape · 03/10/2008 16:17

Can't get a babysitter unfortunately, live too far away from anyone.

We have cut it down to 2 nights a week though.

OP posts:

nolongeraworriedmummy · 03/10/2008 16:19

Ohh I thought you meant for half an hour or an hour lesson! No wonder he was grumpy at the thought lol. 2 hours three times a week is a bit boring for him if he isnt training, is there somewhere else he could go on one or two of the nights.

(says she who is single mum who has to drag dd everywhere

Overmydeadbody · 03/10/2008 16:20

Well, if you want to go, and don't think it's unreasonable for him to go along and play his DS, then just tell him that's what's happening.

I'm a single mum and DS has to come along with me most of the time, he doesn't get a choice in the matter. I do lots for him, so it's only fair that he also does things to help me.

MadameCastafiore · 03/10/2008 16:22

No I wouldn't have gone - yes he is only 7 but I wouldn't think it was awfully nice to make a kid sit in the corner of a hall for 2 hours so I could get on with something that wasn't compulsary.

Dropdeadfred · 03/10/2008 16:46

No - I think one night perhaps...not two. And certainly not one that he wasn't expecting...

he must feel that yours and DS1's wants/come before his...

SoupDragon · 03/10/2008 16:54

Hang on, did we not tell you on Mon to miss Karate to save £10 or something? [hard stare]

Original poster

MrsSnape · 03/10/2008 18:19

yes you did (and I did miss karate on monday) but I got paid today and could afford to go. It doesn't matter, we've decided against it and have played chess and tumbling monkeys at home instead. I'll practive on my own later when the kids are in bed.

I know it probably seems mean dragging him along two nights a week but bare in mind this is the only thing I get to do for myself. I don't go out drinking or anything else...and its not as if I never do anything for DS.

OP posts:

nolongeraworriedmummy · 03/10/2008 18:41

No I dont think your mean at all, I used to do martial arts and would dearly love to go back as its one of the only things I have ever done for myself.

Original poster

MrsSnape · 03/10/2008 18:43

I used to go when I was 15 but quit and then regretted it ever since. I finally re-joined this year after plenty of "I'll start next month" comments from myself but I'm so glad to be back to it. I couldn't give it up again but I do apreciate that poor DS would rather be anywhere else! lol

OP posts:

Dropdeadfred · 03/10/2008 18:52

could he not go to a friends house for those hours and you return the favour another night?

Original poster

MrsSnape · 03/10/2008 18:54

Not really, he's quite difficult and there is only one parent at school who will have him over and thats only because she works at the school so knows him quite well.

His dad works nights, grandma lives too far away...he has re-joined the class now and to be fair, he does seem to enjoy it once he's there, if only for the social side of it.

OP posts:

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