to think that my neighbour assumes I am at her beck and call for childcare?

[avenanap]

I do regularly take care of my neighbours child (he's 11 now) once a week when she's at work. Her husband used to look after him but he's taken on a job in a bar on this date so there's no one to look after him. I seem to have him quite a bit during the holidays when he's at home aswell.
I took ds out after school yesterday and didn't get back until 7. There was a missed call on my phone so I went round to see if she was OK. She just wanted to tell me that she had left her son alone in her house and would I go and see if he's OK because she assumed I was in. I have a few problems with this, one being I don't think he's old enough to be left alone for 3 hours, another being that she shouldn't assume I have no life and am availiable to help with all of her childcare needs.

AIBU here? (I'm not feeling well by the way s I may be being unreasonable but I'm annoyed at this)

i think she is unreasonable to assume you are around to keep an eye out , she should at least have the courtesy to check with you

an eleven year old might well be fine for 3 hours, but if he has been told to knock on your door if there is a problem, but you are not there, then it could be an issue.

surely if she wants and needs regular child care, she should formalise an arrangement, wheterh it is with you or someone else?

YANBU - no-body likes to feel used or taken for granted.

I think 11 is old enough to say home for a while.

I don't mind having him but I mind her assuming it's OK beause I have no life. I hate to think what would have happened to him if there was an emergency though.

yanbu - how thoughtless of her

I don't think her husband should have taken a job on the only night per week she works, it's the assumption that I'll look after him that is annoying aswell. There's 2 of them to look after him, I'm a single mum so I have to think of my child before getting a job.

thanks all. I wasn't sure if I was just feeling pissed off because I'm feeling unwell. I needed some perspective.

her husband sounds like a twunt. Almost as though the only reason he took the job was because he didn't want to look after kids while his wife was working

I think that's too much. This sounds like a permanent think for one night a week so they need a permanent solution. Offer to babysit for £10 an hour. Otherwise divorce yourself from being the person who picks up their slack. It's one thing to have their child round to play with yours (keeps them both happy and all that) but this is out of order.

thing even!