I don't even know where to start. I'm not married, I'm only engaged to this guy who I thought was the one for me. There use to be a time when I thought I would be lost without him, however I don't know that it's love that we have. Well I should say that I have for him. I know he loves me, he would do anything for me, he's already proven that. I use to find myself wanting to be with him, but I can't let myself love him because I was hurt in a previous marriage so my heart just won't open up to love.
I've been with other men since my divorce, however this is the one that I found myself wanting to be around. He loves me for me, I never had to make a big impression, he does anything I ask, he cleans, he cooks, he rubs my feet, and he never ask for anything in return. The only problem is that my family won't accept him becuase he's black and I'm white.
My new problem is that I need to know that I love this man, This is the man that makes me comfortable. I've always been overweight and he totally overlooked that, he's never brought up this... Now there's a new guy. No, I've not cheated. The new guy has recently moved in with my sister and her husband (the same house that i'm staying in). He came to me and told me that he's liked me for a long time, that i'm a good woman and that he wants to be with me. Now I find myself constantly thinking about this new guy and not even wanting to be with my current guy. Now I'm trying to find every flaw with my guy just to start a fight so he'll not speak to me. What is wrong with me?
I rejected the new guy when he came to me but now I can't stop thinking about him and what it would be like to be with him. Does this mean that i want to just leave my guy? How do I know? I'm going crazy.