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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

In being offended at having to separate kids at Socatots???

19 replies

cheekymonk · 02/10/2008 16:46

Hi There,
Ds has just been to 3rd session of Socatots where his mate from nursery also goes. I did check with other mum beforehand that it was ok for ds to go as I wondered if it may be a bad idea for them to go to same session but she was fine.
Anyway she has suggested we keep kids at opposite ends of room and that they only interact during the 2 minutes of free play during the 45 min session. I think that this is unreasonable; to expect 2 3.5 year old boys to ignore each other for 95% of the time! I wish they were going to sepearate sessions. Would be much easier. She says that they need to learn how to concentrate and that there will always be a distracting presence so best to learn now!!
I am already stressed by whole thing as ds is finding it hard to concentrate and just wants to run around whilst all the other kids are suprisingly well behaved. To me it is a bit formal, christ I just want tom develop ds's confidence and see if he likes football rather than routine structure and training time for the next David beckham- do you know what I mean??
Trouble is it does cost loads- about £6.50 per session so I understand that other mum wants something for her money.
I am just offended- am I being unreasonable??

OP posts:
Saturn74 · 02/10/2008 16:47

buy a football and go to the park.

TheBlonde · 02/10/2008 16:51

I don't know why you bothered to check with the other mum beforehand
It's not like you can't go to it cos her kids goes

Just ignore her and let the instructor run the session

Bettyboobird · 02/10/2008 17:16

I understand where you are coming from.

My dd1 goes to ballet at the school where I worked for 3 years and where she attends nursery, so she was very well-settled there for almost a year. Her friend joined the class this term. All they do is hold hands and dance together! I don't mind in the least, they are having fun and if the teacher isn't bothered...

But, the little girl's mum is complaining so much about them being together "I might have to move her to another class" etc. They have just started in the same nursery class too and at present only 'know' each other (although dd1 talks of other children). The mum has spoken to me about how bothered she is, and has even asked the teachers to seperate them. I overheard her asking yeaterday if her dd could move class so she can meet new friends (she can't as the other class is full).

If it continues, yes it might be a pain, but my dd is so sociable that she won't want to just play with her one friend the whole time and I feel the other mum is making too big a deal out of it-she is creating an issue where there isn't one!
I am starting to feel slightly offended in a way...my dd1 isn't so bad!!

Original poster
cheekymonk · 02/10/2008 17:59

I think I checked with other mum first because I am very aware how full of life my ds is and to some parents can seem naughty or disruptive. I am always worried other parents think "that ds is a nightmare" etc because in some situations he can seem the worst behaved but at other times he is lovely. like all kids his behaviour varies...
Thanks bettyboobird. I also feel she is making a huge issue out of it. We both want the best for our kids but those intentions can be actioned in very different ways!!
Yes humprhreycushion, have regurly taken ds to park with a ball but just wanted to give him another experience I guess!

OP posts:
MadamePlatypus · 02/10/2008 18:05

Some 3 year olds love socatots/little kickers etc. and lap up all the rules and love playing the games. Some 3 year olds hate it and would rather run around at the park. If you feel that you have to spend the whole session telling your son not to do things I would ditch it.

nametaken · 02/10/2008 19:29

Why don't you leave it a year then try again?

TotalChaos · 02/10/2008 19:32

if you don't feel he's enjoying it, then give it a miss for now. I think the other parents are a bit bonkers. I love it if there are kids DS likes at activities (DS has mild SN, so I think finds it reassuring to have a friend there).

Saturn74 · 02/10/2008 20:03

cheekymonk - I wasn't be facetious with my previous comment.
I think that £6.50 is a lot to pay for a football session for a little boy, especially when you add in the complication of this other mother adding pressure to the situation.
Is there maybe a gym session, or a less formal football group that he could join?

cory · 02/10/2008 20:41

More than ever I bless the wisdom of our ballet school which did not allow parents to attend sessions. The heartaches you were spared!

Original poster
cheekymonk · 02/10/2008 21:42

Well there are only 3 more sessions to go (you have to pre-pay for 6) so yes I have decided to try and stick it out for those but no further. DS loves his little kit and the sense of elonging but hates the structure!
Definitely agree that it is not worth pushing it though and agree he may be too young/too restrictive for him. I don't want it to go the other way and put him off sport.
Socatots insists and relies on parent participation!
Thanks all for your comments- they have been helpful

OP posts:
TheBlonde · 03/10/2008 10:07

the parent participation would be enough to put me off

mayorquimby · 03/10/2008 10:39

tbf you don't really go to these things for the football.
i coach kids and even the junior/senior infants sessions are nearly impossible to keep them anyway interested.i end up getting them to play chasing etc at the end of them,so can only imagine what it'd be like with a nursery age group.

Original poster
cheekymonk · 03/10/2008 21:15

very interesting point mayorquimby. thats what I thought! thank you again all x

OP posts:
FreakyLadyFrightALot · 03/10/2008 21:24

socatots...is that then the soccer equivalent for gymtots....

tbh, at these young agegroups I don't really get it....unless a child already shows an interest they would equally enjoy a softplay or play in the park!
Op, by your later post your ds sounds like my ms...but you know what, they grow mostly out of that, sooner or later, and all those perfect kiddos often turn into nightmares....

but anyhow, think yanbu for thinking the other mum is nbreasonable....

MrsMattie · 03/10/2008 21:25

My son used to go to 'Little Kickers'. I thought it was a complete load of nonsense, not age appropriate and a waste of money. Agree - park, football, sorted.

TotalChaos · 03/10/2008 21:26

cheekymonk - do you know if they would want parents present for older ages (4+)?

MintChocAddict · 03/10/2008 21:31

Another Socatots here. I ditched after one session. Far too formal and disciplined for my DS who likes to run free!! I was more exhausted after the first session than he was!

Original poster
cheekymonk · 04/10/2008 20:19

Interesting to hear others think it is expecting too much. At the one I go to, there is a child about 6/7 whose Mum also has to participate as much as me, so yes totalchaos parents have to stay present.
She gives me evils for what she ovbiously sees as my crap mothering.
Responses have made sense and been v supportive. Thanks

OP posts:
reban · 04/10/2008 20:30

I have an experience of this but with swimming. When my dd and dnephew were nearly 4 (only 3 months between them and they went to the same nursery and school) my sister and i decided to enrol them in swimming classes. When it got to the satage they were both at the same standard and moved into the same class it became a complete nightmare. No matter how many times we warned them they had to concentrate on the teacher, they would just mess about together. After a few sessions we decided it just wsnt going to work and my sister moved dn into another group. Sad because it ws great for us to be able share responsibility but it became the only way for them to learn

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