dh thinks I am but I don't. can I have some help please?!

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Dh gets an allowance from his employer towards the broadband because he is expected to work from home in the evenings 1 week in 3.
I pay the broadband/phone bill so feel this payment should come to me
Dh won't pay it to me as he says it is part of his income therefore his. I feel this isn't right as it is a contribution towards something I pay for.
His other arguement is that his income is lower - I have 2 jobs and get the child benefit which gives me a slightly higher income
But I still feel the contribution should come to me - AIBU?

Agree with TTT - get him to pay the bill.
Also, how long will it take you to pay off the debts that you carry from before DH's time? I would make this a huge priority if I were you. Financial arrangements like you have can't be good for a marriage. You sound like flat mates! Can you get some financial advice to help you pay down your debt and get your dh to agree that once your debts are gone/reduced that you can get a joint bank account and stop arranging things as if you could seperate at any moment?

I have suggested the all in one pot things several times but we end up arguing about which account to do it from!
I think we need serious talks about this one!

OPen a new account!

Just create a new bank account for bills, and have salaries and child benefit paid into it; keep your own accounts so that once bills/savings/children's needs are accounted for, you can transfer over spending money for you as individuals. Works for us (though there's never any spending money to transfer!!!)

Cancel it and make him take out and pay his own!

Done!!

YANBU, he should pay it if he is getting the money for it, how selfish of him. Stop paying it for him, see how he likes it.

I do find this sort of set up odd though, we both earn and it all goes into one pot as far as I am concerned. Couldn't be doing with arguing over who is paying the electric etc.

DH and I both have our own separate bank accounts. Our salaries get paid into that.

Then we worked out how much our monthly household outgoings are, including the weekly food shop, we both pay half that amount into a separate joint account.

What happens when you go out for a meal. Does he make you pay extra if you have a more expensive starter and main course?

Doesnt sound pretty healthy to be honest. Could you imagine if he earned more then you? You'd have to account for every penny.

Get the pot set up asap. I dont understand married couples who have this sort of set up. I know of one who sit down after a pay increase to recalculate the ratio of who pays what

I have friends who often talk about borrowing money from their DHs and then having to find the money to pay him back.

I find it weird! We too look at our income as a whole even though one of us earns more. It's normally the kids we are spending it on anyway!

There's enough stuff to fall out about without adding money in to the equation.

YANBU but it is a rather odd situation. If you both use the broadband surely you should pay half each?

However if my DP got this extra money at work it would not occur to me to ask him for it. We have broadband whether he needs it for work or not makes no difference. The bill would still be there.

Why not use the money to pay a babysitter and go out and spend some quality time together.

Or you could work out who spends what percentage of time using the broadband and pay the bill proportiately! (joke)

Get a joint bank account. I think all maried/co-habiting couples should have one. Much easier!

We have separate accounts so we can both keep on top of what we are spending and what we can afford to waste rather than one waste money that was needed iyswim.
Because of this we have certain bills we have to pay, DP some, I others.
If we got a reduction on something then whoever paid would get the reduction, surely that is just common sense?
Don't get 'borrowing' money from each other though. IF I need money and don't have it DP gives em ti and vice versa.
It's all our money, just we have separate finances so we don't need to discuss what we are spending.

DP and I don't have a joint account, he earns the money i'm a sahm

he pays for all bills, apart from the kids clubs which come out of the child allowance, i have never felt that asking him for money when i need it is an issue though and i'm not expected to give it back to him! He usually leaves X amount cash at the beginning of the week and i use that

Its never been an issue for us having seperate accounts, even when i was working it was never an issue of who pays for what as we just sorted it out and used whatever was left to benefit us both

I think having seperate accounts does work if thats what you decide, but you and your DH seem to have other 'issues' regarding money which you need to address

Also having to 'borrow' money from your dh seems a bit odd to me - why on earth does he make you pay it back?! unless you are 'borrowing' hundreds from him each month and its affecting 'his' bill paying i find it strange

You are married you should chare your money and have a joint account.