to be annoyed with my friend?

[MadreInglese]

A friend and I have been trying to catch up with each other for almost a month now but with other commitments/broken cars/poorly children we haven't managed it yet.

We provisionally put next weekend in the diary for some drinks in town but we are totally broke this month and I've worked out that I really can't afford a night in town (she's not one for early to bed either).

I could have come up with all sorts of bull excuses but I thought I'd just be honest so I called and left a voicemail saying that we have no spare cash this month but I'd love to see her so would she fancy a night in at hers or mine to catch up with a bottle of wine instead?

She sent me a text saying that it's ok because she'll just have a night in with her DD instead, and will see me at our friend's daughter's birthday party which is in 3 weeks.

AIBU to feel like she didn't really want to see me, she just wanted a boozing partner?

YABU to be annoyed with your friend. Your the one who cancelled the night out.

I appreciate that your skint and have suggested a bottle of wine but maybe she wasn't really looking forward to a night out of the house? Whats wrong with wanting a boozing partner?

Could it be that your friend had already made babysitting arrangements so is annoyed herself?

sorry meant to say maybe she WAS really looking forward to a night out

yes
maybe she was looking forward to a night out
saying you are skint is the usual excuse for you cant be bothered
maybe SHE is upset you cant scrape together some cash to go out wiht her

But it shouldn't matter if we're out or in, the point of the evening was to catch up, and being skint does not mean can't be arsed, a night in town is ridiculously expensive compared to a bottle of wine from the shop.

She hadn't arranged a sitter already because she was moaning the other day about how her DD has decided she longer wants to sleep at anyone else's house (another reason why I thought maybe a night at hers would be easier).

I just feel like she's sulking, instead of just maybe saying that she's disappointed because she wanted a night out.

YANBU, assuming that you apologised for changin g existing plans and that it isn't a regular occurrence.
Difficult one, but she should understand. Could you initiate that you go out on the town next month when money is a little easier?

what i meant was, if someone cant be bothered, their usual excuse is 'im broke' - i wasnt saying you cant be bothered, just that she might think that

and YES it does matter if you are in or out, i LOVE going out, staying in is not nearly the same

yes I did apologise and no it's not a regular occurance

I don't think next month will be any better and it's bloody embarrassing sometimes to have to admit that you're skint

I guess you're right np, sounds like she does think it's an excuse, I might call her later on

Just going round to someone's house is not the same as a night on the town. This is particularly true for parents who don't get out much anyway. Why not just agree to postpone your night till you have some more cash.

It does sound like she is disappointed. Give her a call so you can talk it through. Maybe she doesn't realise how skint you are. I wouldn't be annoyed with her though.

I know how you feel. I feel like I have said 'no' so many times recently, cos we are using our overdraft and have pennies in terms of disposable income. It is embarrassing, but maybe she just doesn't understand or appreciate the situation?
I hope things get sorted for you.

I will call her and explain properly

It gets tricky when you miss each others calls, voicemails and texts just don't put across the same meaning do they