To wonder why I do the lion's share in the morning?

[theSuburbanDryad]

Dh and I both work - he works full time and i work 3 days a week. To give you a typical example of a morning in our house, we wake up all together, he goes downstairs and makes tea (for him) while I get attacked with a book by ds. Me and ds get downstairs, dh gets into the shower. I get ds and me breakfast while he has a shower "to wake himself up". When he gets out of the shower I ask if there's time for me to have a shower before he has to leave for work. No, apparently there isn't.

So, I don't get to have a shower (I'll have to have one tonight but I hate going to work with unwashed hair) and I still have to get myself and ds dressed and get him to nursery.

Yes, I know dh has to leave earlier than me as he has a long commute, but I don't see why I have to do all the work in the morning!

Making lunch for DH/DP

[voice of dissent]

YABU

he will never take on more of the burden unless you ask him to
as far as he knows mornings are blissfully smooth and easy

enlighten him

I do all the morning stuff, but thats fine at the mo as I dont work as much as I used to( by work I mean PAID work!)

however, even though my kids are older, it doesnt seem to get easier.
I have heard that some children make their OWN packed lunches.
But, if their dad can take 20 mins to make his own sandwiches, how long will it take four kids?

Hubby gets up first, then my shower, then eldest son.
hubby leaves,
I get down stairs, and pause to wake 2nd son, and tell 3rd and 4child to wake up and get dressed.

I get cereal /bowls/milk/juice on table.

make four packed lunches for indvidual tastes................(HATE THIS < REALLY HATE IT!)

after cereal has been eaten chuck vitamins at children, then make them beans /spaghetti/egg/turkey rasher /toast etc.

all the while I am shouting directions for P E /rugby kits, and the usual wheres-my-hairbrush-gel-spray-socks stuff.

push three out of door, walk youngest to school.
wave at gate,

run home, have a cup of tea on sofa and survey the damage to house.

previously used to cram them in car , drop off at two schools and then go to work , come home do work paper work, have half an hour to eatsomelunch-shovedirtyclothesin washer-and turn on dishwasher with feet.

then collect youngest from school.
wash/iron/housework/homework/afterschoolclubs/cookdinner/serve.

7.30 hubby home, ='whats for dinner dear? the tube was packed I had a horrible day. I am shattered'.

I used to dream of being able to have the time to stop and think 'gosh I am shattered'. It was hard enough trying to get time to go to the loo, had spent so much time being busy, that i used to hold on to it for too long.................sorry TMI!!

Thanks for all your input. Sorry I haven't managed to be on all day - work was busier than it usually is!!

Firstly, ds can't just watch CBeebies while I have a shower, because a) We don't get it and b) He would wreck the living room in the space of a few minutes. He can escape out of the bathroom so can't play in there while I wash.

I have explained to dh that it would be nice if I could have a shower while he watched ds for 5 minutes but it seems to fall on deaf ears. I don't make his lunch or anything - so it's not like I'm doing extra chores for him, but a bit of help with ds would be nice.

Dh leaves the house at 7:50, and i leave at around 8:20, so I can get ds to nursery in plenty of time and get to work for 9.

I think the thing that bugs me is that all dh has to do is get himself ready, but seems to take twice as long to do that, as I do to get ds and myself ready!!

'I have explained to dh that it would be nice if I could have a shower while he watched ds for 5 minutes'

therin lies the problem

say 'DH, please read this book to DS for five minutes while I shower'
hand over book and ds
shower

We have a similar arrangement if dd wakes up early (otherwise I shower before getting her rup)

Yes - just tell him the schedule - don't ask. Dh is really good but didn't understand the morning problems until it was spelt out. Deaf ears should not be an option. Now - he gets up and goes downstairs with dd for breakast. Meanwhile I get straight in the shower, dressed etc. Then he gets showered etc and leaves for work while I get dd ready, make her meals then take her to her CM.

I really find it incredible that people are making their dh's lunches for them. It wouldn't even cross my mind to do that.

Yes, mrsB i will try that in future. However, I suspect all bets may be off for a bit as he is having a hernia op on Thursday and will be out of action for a while!!

Definitely agree with just tell him.
After me telling DP to get the baby ready yesterday as I don't have as much time as he thinks he got up this morning had his shower and said 'what do you want me to do'
He did the baby and I got a shower, and when I went upstairs he had tidied our bedroom and made the bed too!!

My dh's showering, shaving, suiting and booting routine in the morning takes far longer than my 10 minute job (I shower in the evenings). He only helps for at most 5 minutes before he dashes off the work.

Sometimes, when he has time, he does dd's drop-off. In which case, we reverse roles in the morning.

Dh makes up for it once he comes home. He can barely put his work bag down before the children are all over him. I don't shield him. And he frequently takes the children out on weekends by himself.