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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Childminder,,,what does she do?? & fees

33 replies

lumpybum · 29/09/2008 20:47

Ladies, just need some advice (sorry if I sound like I am ranting)
I have a fab childminder (or so I thought) I feel that she is being a bit slack as she isn't doing very much with my daughter, When I read through dd's day book she used to take her here there any everywhere, now it just looks like she goes to her friends house(all day) I'm not sure how to discuss it with her without her thinking I am picking fault in her...any advice??

The other thing that really bugged me tonight is that I pay her in arrears on a monthly basis, on the last day of the month (being tomorrow) but she now wants me to pay her for Wed, Thur & Friday saying it makes it easier for her account books...do you think this is acceptable (it works out nearly £100 extra than I had allowed for), i have always paid up to the last day of the month, again I don't know how to approach her without her thinking I am just picking.
What do you think, do you think I am being picky?

OP posts:

WallOfSilence · 29/09/2008 20:52

Hi, I use a childminder too & I know where you're coming from re the fees.

Why don't you post over in childminders section & get their advice? They may be able to explain her actions better to you?

Simplysally · 29/09/2008 20:52

Why not offer to start paying her on a 4-wk month instead of a calendar month which is what I assume you are doing now, but from ntext month? she can't really spring an idea on you and expect it to happen straight away as you'll need to budget for it first. I wonder if she's had a bill or something in that she hadn't accounted for?

No advice re the baby activities, sorry.

Original poster

lumpybum · 29/09/2008 20:59

I did hun but thought I would see if you lovely people would let me know if you think I'm being unreasonable.
I know she's got bills to pay etc but so have I and I bugdeted for x number of days (until the 30th)
What if I pay her the full amount tomorrow and she phones in sick?? I'm not saying she will but I hope you can understand where I am coming from.
I know I sound like a little wuss but I just don' want there to be any bad feeling as I have to face her every day and she is looking after chloe, I don't want her to suffer (protective mummy lol)

OP posts:

Original poster

lumpybum · 29/09/2008 21:02

thanks Simplysally, I was actially just thinking the same too, I'm paid on the last friday of every month so thought I'd suggest that.

OP posts:

bloomingfedup · 29/09/2008 21:03

How old is your DD? When I minded I did activities on most days, along with the ever increasing paperwork, cooking , cleaning, nappy cahnging etc and TBH I'm not sure if its worth putting that much effort in for the thanks and money that you get! I can understand where you are coming from but a childminder is often on there own being everything to everyone and its hard.
I know a couple of childminders who do next to no activities with the kids and are very much in demand. In fact i am thinking of putting my new baby with one of them. IMO, if you want your child to do lots of activities send to nursery. Prehaps the CM has burnout if she was doing alot and isn't anymore.

Simplysally · 29/09/2008 21:03

I'd think the same things, don't worry. That's what MN is here for!

Original poster

lumpybum · 29/09/2008 21:12

Hi Bloomingfedup, dd is 18 months old, it was just something that occured to me when I sat down to read through her day book, she used to take her to local parks, messy play activities,I always give her the entry costs so she's not out of pocket.
I know there is the new EYFS (sorry I think that's what it's called), isn't that something to do with preparing the child for preschool?
I can understand if she has lots of children to look after she only had dd 4 mornings a week and another little girl 2 days a week
I'm not expecting a day packed wih activities but I can't understand why she takes dd to her frineds house everyday (surely childminder mst get bored of that too??)

OP posts:

bloomingfedup · 29/09/2008 21:18

I think thats probably why she does it! TBH if i went back to minding I would proabaly do lots of activties again, partly because I would get bored but I think some CM are fine working like yours. I don't know much about the EYFS as I left before it came in.However from a personal point view, I think that a child (up until 2.5/3) does'nt NEED to do lots of activities and that what a pre-school/nursery is for! A CM surley is the home from home option and as long as my child is happy and well cared for thats all I want at that stage.

bloomingfedup · 29/09/2008 21:19

Also, I think the more you do, the more is expected of you (sometimes anyway)

Original poster

lumpybum · 29/09/2008 21:23

thanks bloomingfed up, I suppose it's the over protective mummy in me coming out lol
She seems happy enough, but just wondered what has changed
Anyway what about the fees? Do you think I am being unreasonable?

OP posts:

teenspirit · 29/09/2008 21:24

How much do child minders charge an hour?

Original poster

lumpybum · 29/09/2008 21:26

It varieswhere Ilive anything from £3.20 to £4.00

OP posts:

bloomingfedup · 29/09/2008 21:26

I think it probably is to do with the way the NCMA accounts books work. She is probably trying to make the paperwork as eay as possible, if you agree, why don't you ask her to start it from next month? What does your contract say? If she goes off sick - deduct the money from her next pay cheque (if the contract stated she does'nt get paid sick) Prehaps you could ask why she does not do as many activities, although it may rock the boat. I don't think you are over protective, its good to question.

CarGirl · 29/09/2008 21:27

I pay my CM in advance so I think you are fotunate to pay in arrears. I would explain that you don't have the money this time at such short notice but in future you can pay in full weeks?

bloomingfedup · 29/09/2008 21:30

As far as what has changed, as I said before I wonder if she has burn out/personal problems/or feels under appreciated. Its the best job in the world but I quite often felt like I was working my butt off for very little thanks or reward.

teenspirit · 29/09/2008 21:30

Well if that's all they earn then I don't think you can expect much other than your child fed, watered, clean and safe. If the child minder does the occasional activity then I'd be very grateful.

bloomingfedup · 29/09/2008 21:31

Has she got her own children?

bloomingfedup · 29/09/2008 21:31

teenspirit

Spot on!

bloomingfedup · 29/09/2008 21:33

And remember that C/M's pay insurance, NCMA membership, electric/gas, toys/craft materials/petrol and there is the wear and tear on your home!

Original poster

lumpybum · 29/09/2008 21:38

Ok,thanks I totally appreicate my childminder, I'm thankful for everything she does but was just curious, she doesn't seem any different in herself, she is always paid on time and I buy her choccies or flowers (from dd to say thanks) so I would hate to think she felt I didn't appreciate her.
She has an 9 year old son.
I'm told what I pay her is expensive compared to the average going rate too, she's local & convenient so didn't question it.
Sorry ladies, I don't mean to rant, beliwve me I can see it fromboth sides but just want your opinions xx

OP posts:

mytetherisending · 29/09/2008 21:39

I am a cm.

What does she do at the friends house and is she also a CN- we often go to each others houses because each house offers more variety for certain thing i.e. 1 might be better equiped for art and craft/space, another may have better toys for playing imaginative games i.e. dress up etc and another may have more learning tools. We call it pooling resources ?

If the friend is not a CM and she is sat drinking coffe and chatting/not stimulating the DCs then this is not in line with OFSTED regs or providing the EYFS programme.

If you have a contract and it states when you pay her then you are not obliged to pay. If you haven't got a contract/not registered then you haven't got a leg to stand on.

Also bare in mind that the 'here, there and everywheres' during the summer months can quickly become unsuitable in winter and she may be struggling to go on outings.

So maybe YABU or maybe YANBU iyswim. Without more detail its difficult to say.

WallOfSilence · 29/09/2008 21:40

My c/minder gets £5.50 an hour for two children. (£3 for first & a reduced fee of £2.50 for second)

She takes them to the park occasionally but apart from that it is mostly playing at home in her large garden with the other mindees & messy play, they bake cakes etc..

She has a new small baby & this seems to have curbed the trips out, but that's only to be expected I think.

I love our childminder & am perfectly happy with her care for our children, in fact we were at her wedding this weekend & all the mindees were invited too

I would offer to pay her on the last Friday of every month, the same way you are paid (And me too!) I pay my c/minder weekly though as this seems to work best for her.

bloomingfedup · 29/09/2008 21:40

From what you have said you sound like the perfect customer! i can't answer your question why she has changed - I don't know. Hope it all works out.

bloomingfedup · 29/09/2008 21:43

Myte

Osted talk crap. I am thinking about sending my new baby for a home from home and NOT for osfted 'ivory towers' rules a

Original poster

lumpybum · 29/09/2008 21:48

Thanks Bloomin' I thought so too but now I feel like crap so think i am going to pay her the full amount(even though I don't think I should)
Nighty night ladies xx

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