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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want to do a 5 hr drive on my own with 2 children.

13 replies

ClaudiaSchiffer · 29/09/2008 00:48

DH and I arranged to go on holiday for an upcoming long weekend with another family. We are going to a National Park about 5 hrs drive from here - we live in Australia, it is a BIG place! It is planned to leave Friday lunchtime so we can have a good w/end and drive back on Monday.

Anyway . . . a few weeks ago I reminded DH of our plans and asked him to book a day off work for the Friday. Last Friday (a week before we are due to leave), he tells me he 'forgot' to book the time off and now it is impossible for him to even leave work early as they are having a very important planning day. He then said that it would be fine for me to drive up Friday with the kids (in convoy with the other family) and he would drive up later, after work.

Now I am REALLY naffed off because . .

a. He always does things like this - refuse to take time off work and I just have to deal with the consequences.

b. Am 8 wks pregnant and exhausted and nauseous all the time, so dreading long hot tiring drive.

c. He just wants to have 5 hrs driving time to himself with his music as he finds it relaxing - I am wondering if he engineered it all along.

d. Will cost loads to take extra car up.

e. Am whingy old bag, who doesn't want dh to have any fun.

No really, do you think I am being whingy? But I do feel there is a safety issue. Oh I should say that children are 3 and 1.

OP posts:
Original poster
ClaudiaSchiffer · 29/09/2008 00:51

Oh and another thing, I have to do all the packing, food shopping, etc etc which is sort of fair enough as I am SAHM and he works full-time. But what pisses me off is that I do all the booking, arranging, childcare, cooking, packing, sorting the dog out etc etc and he just waltzes up in a nice relaxed style. When I told him this morning that I wasn't going to go on my own he blew a gasket. So am .

OP posts:
jammi · 29/09/2008 00:52

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Original poster
ClaudiaSchiffer · 29/09/2008 00:56

Hahahahahaha I love that suggestion jammi.

OP posts:
jammi · 29/09/2008 01:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

jammi · 29/09/2008 01:07

This reply has been deleted

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sunnydelight · 29/09/2008 05:09

I wouldn't want to do a 5 hour drive on my own with kids that age at any point, let alone at 8 weeks pregnant. I think you are totally reasonable in saying there's a safety issue. Plus, you will then have to do the drive back as you end up with two cars there (even if you manage to offload the kids).

I don't normally slag off other people's partners on here as I know we all have our foibles and relationships work on all levels, but I do think your DH is being a selfish prick on this one. He "forgot" to book the time off; he has screwed up and needs to deal with it. It's a classic "the lack of planning on your part does not constitute a crisis on mine" situation. Tell him to sort it, without sulking.

Saturn74 · 29/09/2008 05:26

The fact that you would have to pay double fuel would irritate me, so I'd just wait for him to finish work and then all drive together.

Let him explain to the other family that you can't go in convoy because he forgot to book the time off.

2sugars · 29/09/2008 05:43

No. YANBU.

tigermoth · 29/09/2008 07:02

I love the idea of getting a sitter, but that still leaves you with a long drive alone when you are not feeling too well. So I'd do what Humphreycushion suggests and just go with your dh when he finishes work.

Although I have driven for several hours on motorways with two young children, mine had a bigger age gap so I never had more than one under five in the car. Also, I would not want to make a long drive if I was in that nauseous stage of early pregnancy.

I think your dh is being most short sighted if he is assuming you and your chidren can travel down without him.

FourArms · 29/09/2008 07:10

I could do a 5 hr trip by myself, and have done several times. However, at 8wks pg with DS2, I was in bed each night exhausted by 8pm, and often had a 2hr afternoon nap! So YANBU! I'd wait until he finishes work, and drive up then.

LazyLinePainterJane · 29/09/2008 07:25

Has he booked the monday off? I would check that as well.

I would simply wait for him to finish work and then get him to drive. Whilst it is a great idea to get a babysitter and give him a horrid shock, you will still have to drive both ways as you will have 2 cars, and you will have to pay to take 2 cars, which is one of your arguments.

I would tell the other family that work issues came up which means you will be late. Ask your DH to leave as soon as he can from work.

Original poster
ClaudiaSchiffer · 29/09/2008 07:37

Monday is a bank holiday here so it is fine. We will either drive up together on Friday night leave here at 6ish and get to the holiday house by 11 but it is rather remote so not sure about driving in the dark. Or go really early on Saturday morning - which is probably more sensible. So glad you see my point of view

OP posts:
cheshirekitty · 29/09/2008 09:47

Tell dh you will get a taxi to take you and dc to your weekend getaway, and he can take the car up, then you can all travel back home together.

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