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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To take a job that I will love but that will pay less?

32 replies

HonoriaGlossop · 28/09/2008 20:16

And the cut in pay will mean we will need to try to manage on a very strict budget.

And if it means that I won't be able to take DS to school anymore (DH will do it instead) and if it means I won't be able to pick him up either - mum/mil will do it (bless them).

I'll be out from 8 - 4 but will have all school holidays off which I don't in current job.

From a personal (selfish?) point of view it will mean getting out of social work (entering breakdown territory if I don't )and getting into a job which I think I will love and be happy in, something I haven't had for YEARS, and also it is permanent and pensionable, something my current post isn't either. Also may lead on to a career change to teaching which would obviously mean more money (comparatively!) in future years.

OK, rip me to shreds - what do you think of this move?

OP posts:
chapstickchick · 28/09/2008 20:18

im sorry id go for money every time

NoblesseOblige · 28/09/2008 20:18

if you feel you are entering breakdown territory in your current job then i dont think getting out of it can be construed as selfish at all. very sensible on the contrary.

go for it

ethanchristopher · 28/09/2008 20:18

i think its very brave but i think you should do what you need to do.

in the long run it will also save you money in the summer holidays

out of interest what job are you thinking of getting? teaching?

giraffescantdancethetango · 28/09/2008 20:19

Happiness means more than money. For children a happy mother is more important. As long as you can manage on the different budget then go for it. Lots of tips on budgeting here.

NoblesseOblige · 28/09/2008 20:19

being thrifty can be fun in a weird sort of way...honest!

chapstickchick · 28/09/2008 20:19

oh just re read and saw your breakdown comment ....nothings worth sacrificing your health -go for it if things get too tough financilly maybe you will have to rethink but maytbe it will be a blessing.

LittleMyDancingForJoy · 28/09/2008 20:20

I think if the long term outlook for you is better (ie no nervous breakdown!) then it would be worth it. You clearly have lovely relations who are prepared to help out, and school holidays off are a REAL bonus!

chapstickchick · 28/09/2008 20:21

i read on moneysavers about a woman who fed a family of 4 for a month on a few bits in the freezer and cupboard and £20!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Chequers · 28/09/2008 20:21

Oh god do it if you can afford to. Life is too short to be miserable at work.

falcon · 28/09/2008 20:21

I'd go for it,You'll soon adapt and while money is important, nothing is more important than one's mental and emotion health. An improvement in that will benefit the entire family.

roisin · 28/09/2008 20:21

What's the job? How much less pay?
School holidays are worth a lot: won't that save you a lot in childcare?

Original poster
HonoriaGlossop · 28/09/2008 20:23

oo quite positive so far

Was sitting here biting nails

thanks for comments so far. I can't explain just how much I hate my current role and social work in general now. I'm not spending days in the foetal position yet but I am grindingly unhappy to go to work and I just feel if I don't change NOW, that will be my LIFE gone in feeling that way.....

OP posts:
solidgoldbrass · 28/09/2008 20:23

If it;s less money but more secure then that;s another good reason to go for it. Have you looked into tax credits if you are taking a pay cut? That might make a difference too. ANd bear in mind that if it doesn;t work out or you can;t manage, you can always look for a different job.

Icanseethesea · 28/09/2008 20:23

If you are doing a job you love you will be less stressed and more fun for your ds to be with! Sometimes it's not just about money - go for it!

I did just this (with dh's and dc's blessing) , and yes we have less money, but, as ethanchristopher says, you won't have to spend out on childcare in the holidays, just enjoy your ds.

Blondilocks · 28/09/2008 20:24

I think if you really aren't happy in your current job then the money shouldn't really come into it. It sounds like there are plenty of benefits of the new one - being happier, being at home in the school holidays, pension, potential for future career ....

ScottishMummy · 28/09/2008 20:24

i think we adjust to live within means.so yes less money.juggle it differently

happiness and health need prioritised too.

so even if current job pays well,no good if it stresses you out and makes you miserable

you will always have your SW qualification

be bold, try out the TA,hopefully things work out

Original poster
HonoriaGlossop · 28/09/2008 20:25

Job is teaching assistant in a primary. I could possibly look to training as a teacher via the GTP in a couple of years via this job but would need to top up to a degree which would take some time, part time.

OP posts:
aberdeenhiker · 28/09/2008 20:26

having the school holidays off is worth a lot - I'd be willing to sacrifice some salary for that!

Original poster
HonoriaGlossop · 28/09/2008 20:27

Thank you SO much for these comments so far, they are really helping. I'm so indecisive so it does help to have other's views!!!

Happiness and health need to be prioritised too - you are right Scottishmummy. And as you say solidgold, a more secure job IS important, in this day and age!

OP posts:
ScottishMummy · 28/09/2008 20:32

my friend children&families senior practitioner she retrained for another career.less money but immeasurably happier

MrsThierryHenry · 28/09/2008 20:33

You should read this book. It will help give you a broader perspective on the money vs happiness issue. Whatever you decide, you'll be happy in one area of your life and stressed in another. I think it's a question of deciding which sort of happiness/ stress you can live with. In my case, I've chosen to go for career happiness with good long-term prospects. Lots of couples go through financial difficulties when they have kids, but it doesn't mean that they'll always be badly off. You sound as though you're planning well for the future, as you're taking into account the future prospects of your possible new career.

Also if you've not gone onto the moneysavingexpert.com website, I can highly recommend it as it will help you to work out ways in which you might be able to save lots of money (I've managed to save over £100 every month so far).

It's a tough decision. Best of luck.

MrsThierryHenry · 28/09/2008 20:33

Also you might qualify for tax credits as a TA?

Bettyboobird · 28/09/2008 20:35

I was a TA for three years and I LOVED it! It's a fantastic job-really rewarding and so full of variety that you'll never be bored!

Incidently, I'm now studying for the PGCE and the TA job gave me fantastic and relevant experience which is paying off now.

No, the money is not good as a TA, but you DO get an annual pay increment and a pension, so it's better than many jobs out there. You can join a union as well so you will be well-protected.

There is more to life than money

ScottishMummy · 28/09/2008 20:35

yes martin's money tips great website

own brand's labels
big pot dinners to freeze
be canny
it can be down

Original poster
HonoriaGlossop · 28/09/2008 20:52

Thanks so much everyone. Am choked by the responses - seriously.

MrsT, that is such a wise way of putting it; happy in one area and stressed in another. up till now, it's been happy at home, utterly stressed at work...I guess happy at work will mean for now, stressed with money; however, one thing I must make myself remember is that it is not all down to me to save the family finances. DH has been a low earner for years but now has a professional job and is getting qualified PT so within five years will be on more money.

I do have a habit of taking responsibility for too much

thank you all again, I will think on all you have said.

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