to think that "parents and siblings welcome" on an invite does *not* mean

[NotQuiteCockney]

please do a dump and run with siblings as well as the invitee!

I meant "you can stay, with all your kids, and enjoy the party". Not "Please dump as many of your kids as are willing to come"!

One mum asked, when leaving her younger child, and that was fine. I know him a little bit, and he's in Reception, so it was fine. Oh, yeah, and she asked!

Ok, I all the sibs were fine, well, one started looking for her mum near the end, but wasn't upset at least. The big sibs were a bit of a handful, running wild, and ... gah.

I am trying to work out what to do on this score with DS's party. I don't mind (most of) the siblings staying - with parents - but if I actually invite them so I have to provide party bags for them?

I don't think parents would dump and run (except one, but I am hoping they don't come anyway, and if they do I will be keeping a close eye to make sure she doesn't dump both of her DC ) and was considering putting something to the effect of NQCs note on invites, but then came to a halt at the party bag question - there are quite a lot of siblings and I can't afford party bags for them all.

If siblings come (invited or not) you need to do party bags, yes - otherwise every single sib will have a meltdown on their way out the door.

(But I don't do party bags, I do party books - cheaper, and easier. I stood at the door with a bucket of books and gave one to each departing child, sib or not.)

How old is your DS, stealthsquiggle? I found dump and run became popular at Reception age.

You have to assume that people will choose the most convenient option and if you seem like one of those lovely earth mothers who goes round saying 'the more the merrier', by sending out a very ambiguous invite, then you can't complain when they take advantage!

I, personally, would never leave siblings at a party unless I was absolutely certain the host was fine about it. Equally, I would not leave myself open to the possibility of having hoardes of children rampaging around the house by not being careful about who was invited.

Parents at parties are often rubbish at supervising their children anyway.

Just learn from this one and get your next birthday child to take two special friends to watch a film and have pizza

this annoys me - last year at my ds's 3rd birthday (i was pregnant too, so v tired) my next door neighbour broght her grandson round - he was 7 and wasn't invited because he was too old and there wasn't enough room, otherwise i would have invited other friends chidren around too that were older - anyway, she brough him around and said, "he'll be ok to stay won't he?" and i said "sure if you stay" but she laughed and said "you must be joking" and left - leaving her grandson there. He's not the type of child that listens and took my ds up to the bedroom, slammed ds's fingers in the baby gate when i said to come downstairs and then broke a new toy! I was not amused! 2hrs she left him here!

I personally don't like the idea of dumping and running - if something happened, you have no idea how to contact the parents or where they have gone. It's not fair on the host to have the responsibility of other people's children.

Personally, i would write "please stay with your child, siblings also welcome"

ROHH, I think anti-dump-and-run is a nice idea, but really, it stops being the 'normal' thing once you get to kids fifth birthdays.

We'd decluttered a lot, there wasn't much rampaging to do, I don't think anything got broken really. Apparently one 3-year-old tried to write on a wall, but was stopped (by her mum).

We did have a total nightmare with kids playing on the loft ladders, and with the hatches and getting (a bit) hurt. But that was more down too Too Many Kids and the Late Entertainer, than the sibs per se.

DS is about to be 6 but most of his friends are already.

invitees do sometimes get left in the care of another parent but not IME dumped (with one notable exception) - at least in part because it is such a rural area that by the time you have got home it is time to turn round and come back, so not worth it.

I hear what you are saying, NQC, but I think I will rebel on the party bags [stomps foot] - my party bag plans are not cheap but very cool and very themed to the party (and are going to have the invitees names on them). Siblings can have balloon and cake, and can melt down if they so choose - maybe that way the parents won't bring them next time!

What I would really like to do is to selectively invite siblings (the ones I like) and do party bags for them but that would be unfair and impractical.

Well, you can invite sibs selectively, and pretend your DS is making that choice?

I find it weird that people dump and run from DS1's school, because his school is about 15 minutes' drive from here, I guess, on the weekend (with no traffic, ha ha, this is London), and parents live in all sorts of directions from there, so going home and coming back is a non-starter. I think parents go off to cafes or whatever? Not sure?

I do normally dump and run - well, particularly if the party is clearly not set up for adults to stay.

NQC - no cafes (and very few pubs or shops) to escape to round here

Will ponder the selective sibling invitation problem (and do a spreadsheet )