to have spoken to DS1s teacher about yet another bloody trading card situation...

[WilfSell]

DS came out of school today telling me he had 'found' a card in the playground and traded it with someone for 3 other cards.

I was not happy. I don't like trading at school full stop - it encourages exploitation and makes kids unhappy. The school tried to ban it last year and we had words with DS about it.

I pointed out (in the face of much hysteria from DS) that the card he found was not his so he was not entitled to trade it. I told him he should have handed it in to lost property.

I spoke to his teacher and told her what had happened. DS 'could not remember' who he had traded with , so I told her he would be bringing back the cards on Monday for her to sort out.

He felt humiliated I realise because he hadn't realised he was doing anything others might find upsetting. But I had to point out to him, it was just like the people who happened to 'find' his football boots in the coats area and decide they were taking them home... He said 'yeah well they were only 25 quid'...

At which point I lost it and ranted about morality and poverty and asked how he would feel if I gave his new football boots to someone who had no parents to buy them shite like this.

Not a fun Friday evening but another moral lesson learnt? Or did I overreact and should have just ignored it and let whichever poor child had lost their possibly VERY important card (or more likely, been slightly pressured into trading by DS and his friends?) carry on feeling miserable.

God, it's not exactly the world financial crisis to resolve is it. But these little moral acts bother me.

Nah, I reckon he LIED. No way did he find it on the floor, he took in some of his cards on the quiet because WS has banned it and made a good deal and was pleased. Then he lied because he wasn't supposed to have the card in the first place, and couldn't say he'd taken it in.

Don't ban him, it'll only make things worse [nanny state emoticon]

Probably he did lie. I do agree also they are all doing it and have their own rules.

But I think it can (indeed has at DS' school) slip into proto-bullying. He's 9, so pretty mature. But still, not old enough to know how to manage a complete free for all.

Overall, I agree with 100

It's a boy thing isn't it? I think just let them get on with it.

Me too.

Also you know little Kenny in Y3 dead pleased to have traded Fluffywonk Pokemon with your ds, because it was great and actually he has NO IDEA what the cards are or what they mean or what is good or what isn't and doesn't much care but knows it's quite fun and that everyone is quite interested in that shiny one so he'll hang on to that.

my ds's friends mum had kittens over a pokemon card her ds had lost - phoned me up to go through ds's pack to check he'd not traded it with him - worth £25 on e-bay apparently. I didn't tell her that I'd found it in ds's trouser pocket after it had gone through the wash - it was a trade fair and square after all.

WS. When you've finished with your ds and mine, you need to get over to Cornsilk's pretty bloody sharpish.

LOL - it was not in very good nick after going through the wash- I kept it in the cupboard for shame for a bit, but eventually binned it.

I think you did absolutely the right thing WilfSell. At nine they should be able to control their passion for trading cards (ds and all his pals are MAD about Pokemon and they are banned at school except on Fridays for...a pupil-run Trading Club!), enough not to fleece their real pals or dun younger pupils.
I had to intervene during a frenzied five-way swap two years ago when it was really obvious that the dreamiest child in the group was getting royally screwed over. By one other child.
Tbh most of ds' pals would know not do it now so I think you were right to read him the riot act both about the "deal" and about the fact that small grey-area dishonesties are important too, even if not life-threatening.