to think that my DSs should be allowed to eat what I give them at breaktime?

[lonelymom]

My DSs school seems to have an unwritten rule that they are ONLY allowed fruit at breaktime. Problem is one of my DSs only eats bananas unsupervised. Any other fruit and I have to stand over him saying 'Git it down yer throat NOW!'. Anyway as his bananas have been coming home uneaten and bashed (even though he has a 'bananaguard' being the height of coolness that he is) I started to give him 'schoolbars' and apple crisps but he is coming home saying that his teacher will not let him eat them and he has to put them back in his bag . Now come on - these are a form of fruit , they contain lots of fruit anyway. I am furious about the apple crisps as these are essentially dried apple slices dipped in lemon juice. I have spoken to his teacher about this a few times and she has said that it's OK so I don't know what the hells going on. This nanny state we live in makes me bloody angry. I am a grown adult who should be able to decide what my kid eats!! If I want to give him a Mars Bar, I should be able to, fgs. By the way, my other DS (in a different class) gets to eat his.

pointydog, ever feel like you're banging your head against a brick wall? Me too.

A point or two...

I am not advocating ignoring rules. I am advocating sensible rules. I do not think this is a sensible rule. Well-meant, perhaps, but misconceived.

I do have the right to some control over my dd while she is in the care of others. I am her parent and that does not stop because she is at school/nursery/whatever.

You can't, of course, have rights without responsibilities. But apparently some of you think you should have responsibility without rights. I don't.

I am not being naive about the extent of deprivation and its effects. I work in social services. My eyes, too, are open.

Nor will my views change when my dd goes to school. My dad used to think that I would change my mind about things like capital punishment when I got older. He was wrong.

My right to parent my child as I see fit (provided it meets her social, physical and emotional needs) without the state, in any of its forms, overruling me without good cause is an important principle. I do not accept that my rights (and hers) need to be trampled to meet the needs of others.

For the umpteenth time, I do not propose to feed my dd nothing but junk for a snack or any other meal. I merely reserve the right to give her something other than fruit as and when it suits us to do so. Misrepresenting my position on this merely suggests an inability to answer it.

oh for goodness sake, the children are being offered fruit not crack cocaine! Chill out. If they won't eat the fruit and they don't have special needs, then they just aren't hungry enough. We have such fortunate spoiled kids these days, it's ridiculous. Do you think our parents would be getting hysterical over not being able to feed us morsels of caviar at breaktime? I think some people need to get a bit of perspective.

BTW, in case anyone is confused, I am not the OP. I simply agree that the school is being unreasonable in not allowing her ds to eat snacks that are not fruit. IIRC, the OP mentions an "unwritten" rule which is, anyway, only affecting one of her ds's, not both.

MsHighWater & Pointydog. I'm pleased to see some people still trying to get the point across, but sadly I think you're outnumbered.

As this goes on you can probably expect to see them coming home with a list of things they are allowed to eat at home, a list of suitable TV programs you should let them watch, the correct bedtime and so on. (I'm pretty sure guidelines for breakfast have already considered)

For every decision you make in bringing up a child it's possible for some committee to declare a 'right way' and then enforce it. Some decisions will be important and some trival (like exact hair style) but people who are in the business of making rules will continue to make more rules until sufficient people say "Enough!"

I'm amazed that most parents are so happy to give up any right to bring up their own children as they see fit.

Do the teachers only eat fruit at break time?

I would be absolutely starving if I had breakfast at around 7am and then only have fruit until 12.30.

I divide ds's lunch up and he has a third for morning tea and two thirds at lunch. So he will get a little quarter sandwich, some raisins and a plain biscuit for morning tea.

"My dad used to think that I would change my mind about things like capital punishment when I got older"

FFS, capital punishment is hardly the same thing as fruit at snack time is it?! What a ridiculous comparison to draw - you didn't change your mind about the death penalty so you won't change it about fruit at snack time??

but caprica....if she doesn't even really eat her lunch she can hardly be starving?

I am equally surprised that Ms H is with Social Services....tbh....but there you go, people are full of surprises....

I just don't think fruit alone is the best snack for small children. Apart from bananas, most fruits are pretty low in calories and you have to eat a lot to get much energy from them. If I'm really hungry and only have an apple, I still feel really hungry. Most fruits are also acidic and full of sugar and pretty bad for the teeth. Some cheese and fruit, or bread and fruit, would be a much better balance.

People are ludicrously obsessed with the idea that fruit is the only healthy snack. DS2, who is another fruit refuser despite my best efforts, is allowed to take in dates for a snack but not cheese or rice cakes. Now which is healthier? A lump of cheddar or some extremely sugary dates?

singer, of course fruit is not the only healthy snack, but I think it would possibly jsut make things to complicated if they would "allow" different things....soon people would reverse to giving a bag of crisp...(must say, when es started school I was surprised that they were allowed high salt crisp but not plain digestive bikkies for breaktime...now that did not mkae sense to me at all)

My younger two's school actually gets the snacks in for the KIds and it is often things like small cucumbers and carrots and stuff like that aswell as fruit....but, seeing as they are providing the snacks, it should be possible to also add other foods...they also get their milk at snacktime, so, I supose even if it is just fruit, they have fullfat milk to also fill them up....

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indeed, very good point bloss

lol caprica

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I have mixed feelings about this issue. I totally understand how some parents feel about 'nanny state' but at my dd's school we are told only to give fresh fruit, which I'm happy to do because she usually eats it (although I'm lucky that she will eat a wide variety of fruit) and it means that while she's at school she has no opportunity to consume rubbish.

She also has school meals so there are no arguments about packed lunch. I like it this way. At my other daughter's school it's the same.

At my dd's ballet school, I have noticed how many of the children are stuffing crisps, sweets and chocolate constantly while they are waiting to go into their lessons and many of them are overweight. It is definitely much more of a problem than when I was a child, imo.

I also think that children who don't like fruit turn into adults who don't like fruit. It is quite possible to train yourself to like a different diet, and when you do you prefer that to the old way, but it's probably easier started young.

I have mixed feelings about this issue. I totally understand how some parents feel about 'nanny state' but at my dd's school we are told only to give fresh fruit, which I'm happy to do because she usually eats it (although I'm lucky that she will eat a wide variety of fruit) and it means that while she's at school she has no opportunity to consume rubbish.

She also has school meals so there are no arguments about packed lunch. I like it this way. At my other daughter's school it's the same.

At my dd's ballet school, I have noticed how many of the children are stuffing crisps, sweets and chocolate constantly while they are waiting to go into their lessons and many of them are overweight. It is definitely much more of a problem than when I was a child, imo.

I also think that children who don't like fruit turn into adults who don't like fruit. It is quite possible to train yourself to like a different diet, and when you do you prefer that to the old way, but it's probably easier started young.

fucking ridiculous, they are not there to be dictated to. If a mother wants her child to eat fruit in a different form than fresh, why on earth not .

By all means encourage healthy eating, but its NOT a fucking mars bar is it, it is s fruit crisp!!!!

It is meant to be an educational establishment, to promote learning through fun not boot camp where rules are forced.

I agree wholeheartedly with mrshighwater when she says '

My right to parent my child as I see fit (provided it meets her social, physical and emotional needs) without the state, in any of its forms, overruling me without good cause is an important principle. I do not accept that my rights (and hers) need to be trampled to meet the needs of others'.

Exactly. Said more eloquently than I did!!!

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I am a teacher. I eat breakfast at 7am and have only a cup of tea until about 12.45pm. You do not need food between meals. When I was at school you got a third of a pint of milk, if you wanted it, and nothing else. We did not take snacks. We were not allowed to take snacks. I don't know why everyone has such an obsession with eating between meals.
A piece of fruit is healthy, of course it isn't the only healthy snack but it is an easy rule to interpret.They can have any snack you like at half past three!
No wonder there is a problem with child obesity when so many people are adamant that their DC will not eat fruit! Whatever is the harm in eating a piece of fruit at playtime? Why is fruit perceived to be not as nice as other things? It is lovely!
I can't see the point in being difficult about a perfectly sensible rule, just because you won't be dictated to.
The bottom line is that if you send your child to a school with a fruit only rule you will have to stick to it because your DC will have it conficated and handed back to eat after school. Everyone in my area is quite happy with it and as a teacher on duty I have never once had to remove anyone's snack. If you kick up a fuss it won't get you very far because the majority of staff, parents and governors are firmly behind the healthy eating campaign. As a parent I would fight any relaxing of the rules tooth and nail! I think it is wonderfully sensible, especially as the majority of the population do not eat their 5 portions a day.
Schools make their own rules, DCs and parents can't choose the ones they like. A school is a community, and like society, has to have rules for the good of all.
MsHighwater and others might like to reflect upon whether they would like their DC to go to a school where they are not dictated to, and they are perfectly free to drink cola at break with a cream doughnut because the parent says that normally they have a healthy diet but they wanted them to have a treat and anyway it is their DC and no one else is allowed to say what they can eat or not eat!

There is one solution for all these people insistent on personal rights-Home Educate and do whatever you like, whenever you like.

what's a schoolbar ? Why should he be allowed differently to others ? The rule is there(presumably you've checked the policy) , maybe he just isn't hungry, doesn't want to be different to his friends or if the bar may contains nuts products perhaps they are supposed to be nut free.

I think it's quite worrying how we (as a society) find it so diffcult to eat unprocessed food.

Because that to me is what makes the difference between (for example) apple crisps vs an apple: it's not that apple crisps are wildly unhealthy, but they're processed, and dog knows, our children don't need any more training to prefer processed food.

There's plenty of healthy processed food around, but as a general rule, if you want the best possible nutrition from your food you'll eat it as fresh and unprocessed as possible.

A rule about bringing in just fresh fruit isn't just simple and practical, it's also getting children into the habit of eating fruit just as it came off the tree. That's priceless IMO.

I was hoping that you had left this thread AbbeyA as you said you had, but alas you are back and in bold too