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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be happy with the education my children are receiving in thier state schools?

79 replies

LynetteScavo · 24/09/2008 20:56

I really am quite content with their education. I'm happy with fact that they mix with children from homes of varying incomes, and a multitude of ethnic backgrounds (in DS1's class anyway)

I do not regret the fact that we cannot afford to send them to a private school. (If I'd been that bothered I'd have only had one child, and the reason for this is not about the schools we went to, or our career choice- plenty of people with the same career as DH send their DC's to private schools)

I went to both state and independent schools as a child; so have seen both side of the coin - so to speak

Give it to me straight - AIBU?

OP posts:
mrsruffallo · 25/09/2008 14:25

Ooh mrsshackleton calm down dear

Marina · 25/09/2008 14:26

Hear hear MrsShackleton
Ethanchristopher, most parents choose the school that best suits their child and the family's needs. In our case we went private because until quite recently many state primaries did not offer any kind of breakfast or afterschool provision. We also chose a private school where the head agrees with us that SATs are the Devil's invention.

Blu · 25/09/2008 14:28

I think the point is that on MN you could, occasionally, be forgiven for assuming that no-one could possibly be happy with a (non-grammar) state school, and people only endure it because they are as Fio describes, OR because they cnnot afford private and therefore subject to the politics of envy.

Also that every state school is run by deliberately unkind, incompetent staff whose job it is to terrorise Reception children and encourage all manner of bad behaviour by thugs and other boistrous children. And other more imaginative ways t make the lives of children and parents as miserable as possible!

mrsruffallo · 25/09/2008 14:30

Exactly Blu I don't think OP was having a dig at all private school parents

Blu · 25/09/2008 14:32

(and for the avoidance of doubt - the second view coming from parents who do use the state sector)

There IS a boring middle ground, MrsShackleton - and I took the OP to be it!

off for some special brew - I have long wondered where i have gone wrong!

Soapbox · 25/09/2008 14:33

Blu - one might also reach the conclusion on MN that private schools are stuffed to the gunnels with children named Tarquin, who have crashing snobs for parents, who are either as thick as shit or academically hot-housed, and who live in some parallel universe, which never involves crossing paths with anyone from the local community!

Vive la difference!

Blu · 25/09/2008 14:36

Soapbox - well, yes indeed! I agree.
hence my exasperation with the whole slagging that started on this thread.

But I should have known better than to engage at all, except in a Fioesque sort of way.

And so should you

But I did it first...miss

Original poster
LynetteScavo · 25/09/2008 14:37

I certainly wasn't having a dig a private school parents. I was expecting people to tell me my DC's were missing out on beautiful grounds, and small classes though.

This is a genuine AIBU thread. Whenever I hear of someone moving their child to a private school I can't help fleetingly wonder if I'm doing the right thing.

OP posts:
Onestonetogo · 25/09/2008 14:38

Message withdrawn

Soapbox · 25/09/2008 14:38

Well at least Fio's was funny

Remotew · 25/09/2008 14:39

YANBU, I am too and wouldn't change to the local private even if I could afford it.

It made me lol when someone mentioned the local private was a school for bimbos. Ours is like that. I'm sure that some of the boarders parents are wealthy in the usual private school sense but the ones I know and I know a lot of them well they must have got the money from somewhere but they are all vulgar trade types, restauranteurs, shop keeper and builders. [inverted snob emotion].

mrsshackleton · 25/09/2008 14:41

I'm perfectly calm just [yawn emoticon]
Of course there is a boring middle ground in this debate - boring being the operative word. I think almost everyone on mn apart from Xenia would agree if your local state school is good and your child is happy there then it's an ultimately reasonable choice to use it. The OP knows it's a no brainer so why post except to stir up the usual hornet's nest?

Litchick · 25/09/2008 14:42

This is more like it.
A school for bimbos no less. And with a drugs problem I expect. Oh and before I forget everyone is emotionally stunted.
Are they all called Tiffy?

Blu · 25/09/2008 14:42

Fio always posts like that

It's all projection, you know.

Projection, and the Special Brew.

Soapbox · 25/09/2008 14:46

Fio's all right - I always read her chippy comments and think 'Ah, but I haven't forgoten about your £40k kitchen'

pagwatch · 25/09/2008 14:46

mostly the special brew

[hic]

Remotew · 25/09/2008 14:47

Doing drugs and emotionally stunted, yes they are. I don't know about the kids though, they don't mix with the likes of our children.

pagwatch · 25/09/2008 14:51

I don't think being emotionally stunted is allowed until 6th form is it.
Drugs any time from seniors but emotionally stunted?

Arn't you jst supposed to be precocious but ultimately thick in juniors

Are you sure this is right?

mumjoanne · 25/09/2008 14:53

It is interesting to read posts that echo a discussion that I had with friends last week. Most of their sentiments being that if they could afford private education then they would - on the basis that it is automatically better than state. I strongly disagree and feel that the state system enables a much rounder education and a better grounding for dealing with real life.

Did anyone see the Fiona Miller documentary a couple of years ago - she is very pro state school and her argument being that if all families sent their children to the local school rather than saving for private then the standards of all schools would benefit.

Remotew · 25/09/2008 14:55

It a junior and senior school. They also have a nursery and I'm ashamed to admit it but I sent DD there when she was a pre schooler. At least she didn't have to wear the awful uniform.

I see them all in the supermarket after school. They look at us with our kids, we look at them with theirs, them looking down on us and us thinking, christ how did those two thickos manage to send theirs to the private.

mrsshackleton · 25/09/2008 14:58

OK, Lynette, have read your second post and understand what you are getting at.
I am lucky enough to be able to afford to send my dcs to private school but for now am choosing not to.It is a difficult decision for me because I went to a state primary and was bullied horribly, the teaching was shocking and when I was taken out and sent to a private school I was happier in every way. But I am reminding myself every school is different and the local one should be given a chance
We live equidistant to a private school that is very highly rated and a bog-standard state school. Have tossed up betwee the two, I am choosing the state school because I hear the teachers are lovely, the ethos is very cosy and I want my children to have friends of all backgrounds. The private school has beautiful grounds and smaller classes but I don't think young children give a monkeys about beautiful grounds. They're a marketing tool to attract parents. You can take your child to plenty of beautiful grounds on the money you save on school fees . So long as your state school has bright pictures on the wall, is warm and clean and feels cosy - which nearly all do - then a child will respond to that.
My jury is out on the issue of smaller classes. I am optimistic that thanks to teaching assistants etc my dd will still get enough attention. But, as I have said before, if after a year I feel she is not doing as well as she could and is not particularly happy there then I'll move her to a private school for that reason. Your dcs obviously are happy and doing well, so no need to worry in the slightest just be very happy your local school is so good.

.

Onestonetogo · 25/09/2008 15:03

Message withdrawn

Swedes · 25/09/2008 15:05

Anchovy - I agree. DSs 1 & 2, Phidias and Paralus, are socially very well adjusted. In spite of my braying . I hope to have sufficient funds to send my younger children, Aspasia and Hipponicus, to independent schools for senior school too.

Anchovy · 25/09/2008 15:29

Why, thank you Swedes. Obviously I couldn't use "Tarquin" as an illustrative name, as it is DS's real name and it might blow my anonymity. Well, I say it is his real name - we called him Barry but when we applied to his private school they allocated him a new one.

(On which note I heard a story which may be apocryphal, but is good even if not true, of a school in Chiswick which had two Ptolemy's in the same class!)

Personally I find it a bit passive aggressive when people go on about how great their state schools are because I blinking wish we had the choice.

mrsshackleton · 25/09/2008 15:39

totally agree anchovy it is passive aggressive a la arabella weir
onestop - of course I'd look at the ofsted report too. I'm saying don't worry if your child's school doesn't have acres of grounds and a lake.