Feeling shaken and stressed and a bit angry. I think I probably am BU, but need some MN soothing and slapping.

[MadamAnt]

Just been round to a (new) friend's house with DD and DS. When it was time to leave I went upstairs to retrieve DD, leaving DS (2) playing downstairs. The friend came upstairs to show me the view from her bedroom window (tis v beautiful). As I came downstairs I saw that she had opened the front door . I immediately panicked re: DS and rushed down just in time to see DS toddling across the frigging street (a city street, not much traffic, but the cars whizz along).

I nearly died of fear. DS was luckily rescued in one piece. She did apologise, but she seems kind of scatty and airy fairy and I don't think she appreciates how shocked and upset I was/am. Although that's partly my fault as I have a ludicrously stiff upper lip.

But seriously WTF was she thinking???!! Would you leave the front door wide open onto a city street and eave a 2 yo unattended?

I came home and have been cuddling a napping DS non-stop, but I keep imagining what might have happened if we'd spent a minute or two longer upstairs.

Oh and just to top it all off dd (3.9) thought it would be a lark to re-enact the drama and shot off across the street as I was strapping DS into his buggy. Great. My nerves are in tatters.

stayfrosty - OMG! lol

YABU.

Your children, you were there, you were supervising and you should not have left your DS downstairs with an open door onto a city street. Your job to ensure the safety of your children in alien environments.

You shouldn't have left your ds unsupervised in a strangers house (technically) and she shouldnt have left the door open in a fuckwitted way.
You are both at 'fault'. Let it go and learn from it. Laugh with her next time you see her.

You shouldn't have left your ds unsupervised in a strangers house (technically) and she shouldnt have left the door open in a fuckwitted way.
You are both at 'fault'. Let it go and learn from it. Laugh with her next time you see her.

'you should not have left your DS downstairs with an open door onto a city street'
presumably she didn't know the door was open?!!

oh yes stayfrosty, it does rather seem to go hand in hand with accident pronness doesn't it?

i often joke that thank god so many people have seen my two having ridiculous accidents as i have lots of witnesses for that inevitable trip to the a&e where social services are called due to the extraordinary amount of bruises and cuts on both!

Quattro, eh? When I left him downstairs he was engrossed with a toy truck in a child-proofed environment and in the company of another adult (i.e. the friend). I spent about 1.5 minutes retrieving DD and on the way back down the friend came up (having opened the front door without my knowledge). We spent a minute or two looking at the view and then went downstairs. I don't think that was unreasonable. What would you have done? Sent the friend upstairs to go and get your DD?

Legally it's your liability not your friends. Not blaming you but you're trying to pass the responsibility onto your friend when in fact it is your responsibility and not hers.

If it cheers you up any I could tell you about the time I found DD on the roof (a pitched roof). We've all been there ....

If you leave your child with someone, another parent at that, you don't expect them to open the front door and walk off.

Yeah, we've all been there, but not usually cause someone did something stupid.

LOl at dimwitted children.

MA you poor thing I would have pooped if it were me.

I second the gin, choc and good telly for you tonight- this should be followed by a long sleep.

Madamant I don't think you've done anything wrong.

You still have'nt told us why she opened the door then went upstairs.

Anyway, thanks to your vigilance everythings OK.

I would feel really angry...and feel terrible and shaken. Feel terrible reading about it...I really don't know if I could be bothered with a flaky friend like that. Don't you feel bad, you are having a normal reaction.

I actually have no idea why she opened the door. Maybe she was preparing to help me out with my buggy? I think if I'd tried to verbalise the question to her it would have come out as "WHY THE FUCK DID YOU OPEN THE DOOR, YOU INSANE WOMAN!!!!!?????". So I opted for the slightly more diplomatic " Oh well these things happen" through gritted teeth

Quattro - that's a really odd way to look at it IMO. He's far more than a legal obligation, he's my darling son! And if it was the other way round and a child had come to harm due to my extreme carelessness, I know that I would feel entirely responsible.

Sorry, I agree with Quattro - new friend, first time you had visited house presumably, your responsibility to supervise your children.

My DS of 18 months can open an unlocked front door, and as I would have no idea whether my friends' front doors autolock when shut, or if they are in the habit of locking themselves in (I do, because of escapologist DS), I wouldn't have left a 2 year old downstairs alone, engrossed or otherwise.

Have a drink and forget it.

So what would you do in that situation? I'm genuinely curious. Would you send the friend upstairs to get your child? There must be instances where you've left your child briefly with a new friend. What if you need the loo? It's not as if I was upstairs for hours smoking crack while DS was downstairs playing with flick-knives.

And FWIW I know there was no way DS could have opened the door be himself, as the handle was way up high, and would have required a simultaneous turn of the handle and release of the snib. I notice these things as DD has escapology "form"

And what's more he wasn't alone when I left him, he was with my friend!

And this isn't even what I thought I was being unreasonable about I thought I might be being unreasonable for being pissed off about it when no harm had been done. If (god forbid) DS had been hurt, I would have felt entirely justified to have been furious.

Hope you are tucking into your drink and de-compressing by now!

I have an escapologist of a daughter, who is severely autistic and has absolutely zero sense of danger. Last week her step-brother called round with his mate, shot upstairs to pick up his footie boots leaving his pal standing at the gate wthe front door wide open. My daughter must have shot out then while the door was open. It was about 15 minutes later when I got a phonecall from DP saying dd was in the local park , as dss could see her there while playing football.

I just went to get her, but I had to really rein myself in not to go ballistic - ok, so I can't have eyes in the back of my head, but dss hasn't grown up knowing how careful we have to be with her, and his pal probably would see nothing wrong with an 8 yr old leaving the house. She could so very easily have been knocked over in the road, or just disappeared...As it was I thanked dss for calling his dad, and just reinforced how we can never ever leave a door open.

You can only do your best, and you can childproof your home, but you just have to be prepared to factor in idiocy sometimes, our own or other people's!

Hope you are calming down now

If I had left my 18 month old son downstairs in a friend's house, in the company of that friend, and then she came upstairs to join me, I would have said, "oh, where is DS, he really can't be trusted on his own" and gone to get him.

If I need the loo when I am at home with DS alone, I take him in the bathroom with me.

Whether or not you were smoking crack isn't really the issue. I just said I wouldn't have left my child alone in the first place.

Well I guess DS is maybe that wee bit older, and we were upstairs together for less then 2 mins. We literally went into her bedroom on the way downstairs and looked out of the window.

Do you only have one child? Because when you have more than one there are situations when it is definitely more dangerous to be carting them around with you.

I think I probably did one of those mini mental risk assessments before going upstairs to get DD and figured that it was safer leaving him where he was than carrying/guiding him up two long flights of stairs and then coming back down with a reluctant and struggling DD in tow.