thinking that the number of DC we have is our business not my mothers ?

[BabiesEverywhere]

My DH works very hard, out of the house at 5am back between 4pm and 7pm. He supports us completely we don't get benefits etc. I am lucky enough to stay at home with 2 year old DD and month old DS and I (reluctantly) plan to return to work when DC are at school.

We are lucky enough to have a 3 bedroom house and we have a happy life. However we don't bother about proper holidays or buy loads of new stuff etc and food shop at Aldi but I prefer to be careful and I'm not kean on holidays

My mother wants me to give away all our baby clothes. i.e. All the tiny stuff and all the girls stuff and I said I wanted to shove it in the attic for the time being. I might decide to lend it to a friend or my sister.

I was also thinking to myself, that my DS is only a month old I don't want to decide now whether we have finished with having children or not but I didn't say this to my mum.

My mother (mindreader) decided to give me a lecture about how I can not have any more children as I only have a 3 bedroom house and children can not share a bedroom and be happy (WTF) That I should get rid of the baby clothes straight away (as if that will help)

TBH the more she is determined that we must stop at two, the sadder it makes me feel. I am sad that she is telling me what to do and that she feels I am not adult enough to make my own decisions in life.

I suppose I want her approval and it is upsetting to think if we did decide to have another DC in the future that she would not be supportive.

Not that it is on the cards, I am enjoying month old DS too much at the moment, I just object to being lectured at by my very loving mother.

AIBU

Private space doesn't need to be in a bedroom. There are lots of other places for quiet study.

Are you sure she's not attempting reverse psychology?

YANBU- it is not her business, unless she is responsible for all your childcare or has to bail you out financially! My MIL keep telling me "Right, that's you now- no more!" (we have 3) I just smile and refuse to get into it- it's up to us, noone else.

Know exactly what you mean about the baby clothes- I've lent them to friends for the meantime. We have actually decided to ahve no more, but I did cancel DH's proposed vasectomy- like you, I just can't face that "never again" right now.

Oh, and I was an only child and envied my friends who shared a bedroom with their sisters. My 2 girls love sharing at the moment, if they protest at a later date, we will reassess the situation, but I don't think that children MUST have their own bedroom!

I am one of five - never missed the material things we might have had in a smaller family. Sharing probably become a bit of an issue when I got older - but that was partly due to a big age gap between me and my sisters. I did have somewhere quiet to study though and I don't remember ever actually moaning to my parents about it...It was a good incentive to move into my own place and be independent when i was 18!

She is wonderful and does babysit for us and has insisted on having DD overnight next week !!! So that is a mutual benefit and something I am ever so grateful to her for...a night off just DH, me and DS

Money wise, we have on occassion borrowed money for unexpected expenses which can't wait until payday i.e. When our toilet back up but we pay it back on the next pay day.

does she perhaps attribute your brother's gayness to sharing a room with a sister?

BabiesEverywhere, I really do know how you feel

My Dad was ecstatic when I announced my first pregnancy, delighted when I announced my second.

But when I gave birth to DD2, my Dad started saying "You've got two beautiful little girls, stick with that", and other similar comments.

He and Mum had 2 DC, then fell unexpectedly with a third. It was tough for them. Their DC3 (DD2) was very headstrong, and got into lots of trouble as a teenager, dropped out of school, etc.

When I told them I was pregnant with DC3, due in April, Dad couldn't hide his displeasure. He still, 6 weeks on, makes comments regarding 'our predicament' and even told me that I must have cut the top off a condom to have my way .

He was even more upset when he realised that it was a planned decision. My only hope is that as he is the most doting granddad to DD1 & 2, that when this much wanted DC3 comes along, he will fall in love with him or her.

Quite honestly, within a few weeks, no-one will remember life before having 3 DCs in the family

We also live in a 3 bed house, not with big bedrooms, and I will have 3 under 3½. Nutty, but fun!

stop at to yeh right i said that my eldest son now 27 and daughter 25 what more could i ask one of each !! now have 5 altogether so 27/25/15/8/3 and i would,nt change a thing if you can aford them and you have enough love for them crack on and have as many as you want

babieseverywhere, There can be a lot of reasons why your mother (you say she is a loving mum) is trying to discourage you from having more children. It can be everything from how it effects your health to how it makes her feel old because she is done with that. Who knows besides your mum?
Sometimes you choose to have more, sometimes fate does. It sounds like however it may go you will provide a loving home for child 3 (or 4 or 10). My grandmother on my mothers side had 13 but that was when large families were advantageous.
My sister and I, and my brothers all shared our rooms (sis and I in one bedroom, brothers in another) until we married or left as adults. As small as the bedrooms were it was cavernous and empty when my sis married and moved out.
You and your mother will have to agree to disagree (or agree) depending on the situation.
Are you an only child? The youngest? Lots goes through a parents head...they have had all those years to form their opinions and apply them to you.