Am I being unreasonable to expect him to look after kids tho' he hates it?

[TJRS]

I work part time, my DP is out of work, so 3 days a week he takes kids to school and picks them up again, does tea etc. He hates it - says his life has gone - says he's not a housewife. This has gone on for a year and it is the source of recurrent rows. There could be at a real stretch money to pay for more childcare (I already pay a childminder to cover the gap between end of nursery and end of school) but it would be difficult and it would mean him doing less to help, when he's doing little else with his days anyway. I miss my kids dreadfully when at work and would love to swap positions but DP hasn't ever even looked for work and just puts up all sorts of excuses. I feel we have reached a complete impasse and I can never tell when he's going to stop/sulk about it and its like walking on eggshells. I would really appreciate all thoughts and advice - well and truely stuck.

BTW if you get divorced he can claim that he is the primary carer and get custody of the children.

Risky. I would only pay for more childcare as an investment in a divorce - to prove to a judge that this guy would not look after his own children.

Although to be fair, he sounds too lazy to want custody.

ed at his attitude and lack of interest in his kids, er, team work tbh
dont let him take you (and the kids) for a ride anymore...
strong words n an action plan
march him to job centre if you have too..

YANBU. He is a parent. If he doesn't want to do childcare then tell him to get off his arse and get a job

Also ridiculous that you are paying a cm when you have a perfectly capable parent at home. why did he have DC's if he doesn't want to care for them

TJRS, you made one mistake there, you referred to this loser as your dp which stands for Dear Partner. It would seem to me that he is neither dear nor a partner! A partner shares some of the workload and accepts that sometimes you have to do the grunt work.
You are being treated appallingly!

Fucking hell.I've heard it all.

this is so ridiculas i am even thinking 'troll', cos, surely, no one would put up with this kind of crap in rl?

Unfortunately jwn, some people do. I knew a girl who used to have to bring her dd into work if she was working overtime on a Saturday as her dh refused to look after the LO.

Seriously, give him an ultimatum...ship up or ship out.
I take it he chose to have these children with you??