to think im suffering from depression?

[mum2taylor]

Everyday life just seems to be having a really bad effect on me at the moment and the slightest thing is making me feel really down ...i lost my mum two years ago and I think the effects of her death are only now starting to come to the surface....I am exhausted every day no matter how much sleep I get, etc, etc. I also have a very short fuse with everyone....does this sound like depression or do I just need to get a grip of myself?

I would certainly not going to tell you to get a grip of yourself. If this is depression then thinking "get a grip" is completely counterproductive.

Is it coming up to the second year of your Mum's death?. Why is all this coming to the surface now?.

Constant exhaustion can be a sign of depression.

Have you considered talking to CRUSE about your Mum's passing; there is no timescale for grief and it can take many forms. People pass through various grief stages (these include anger and acceptance to name but two) in their own time. Did you feel you needed to be "strong" for others when she died?.

As mentioned CRUSE are very good but would also suggest you talk to your GP. This person will in no way think you are wasting their time.

Please see your GP. To be considering the thought that you may have depression would suggest to me that you almost certainly do!
Take care.

Thanks ATM, when my mum first died i was in constant denial and its only now I realise shes never coming back...i dont have any siblings and my friends all have their own lives....I find it really hard to talk about my feelings anyway. It was her 2 year anniversary in July but i feel more and more helpless as time goes on....I thought it was supposed to get easier as time passed but it seems to be having the complete opposite effect on me.

it does not automatically get easier as time passes, particularly as you say you've always found it hard to talk about feelings. Yes, contacting Cruse and seeing a therapist could be really helpful.

So sorry you feel crap . Don't tell yourself to 'pull yourself together', it's just another way of beating yourself up when you already feel shit. Instead be very kind to yourself, do some things for you, be more selfish and nurturing to yourself.

Thanks Laurie, ive made an appointment to see my gp next week. I would love to contact Cruse but i wouldnt know what to say. Im scared of becoming addicted to the meds for depression as well as my mum was addicted to tranquilisers for 15 years and she had such an unhappy life because of them. Suppose im unhappy now anyway so what difference would it make.

If making a phone call feels overwhelming then you really need to look after yourself. You can email them if you don't feel up to calling on [email protected]

The meds may be able to put you in an emotional place where you can cope with accessing other support like bereavement counselling. You might not need them forever.

the meds for depression are not addictive, unlike tranquilisers.
good luck with seeing your GP!
in the meantime try and get out and about, in the fresh air. it def helps.

Sometimes it's the other way around. When you are feeling down or depressed, sad past events come to the front of the mind and seem worse than ever. It may be that your mother's death is affecting you now because you are feeling down rather than the other way around. Just a thought.

I was feeling how you are a couple of months ago, it was coming up to the 3rd anniversary of my mum's death and I was really struggling to cope. When my mum died I had my DS, now 3, to look after. He was only 6 months old so was so busy with him that it hasn't really hit me until recently now DS is more independent and at nursery, probably because I have more time to think! Don't worry about AD's, i've been on and off them for 3 1/2 years and they're not addictive, it may be what you need to start the process of feeling better and talking always helps. Hope you feel better soon.

Please contact CRUSE: they will listen to you and not judge you at all. I think the words will come if you were to speak to them.

www.crusebereavementcare.org.uk

Tel:0844 477 9400

[email protected] is their e-mail address.