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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think that DP should say somthing to his sister and dad

46 replies

bogie · 19/09/2008 09:54

Dp thinks I am so I want your opinions....

Dp's works do falls the same week as my 21st birthday and as he works at cener parcs we decided to book a villa for the weekend and ask mil if she will come up for the weekend to look after dc's whilst we are at his works party and then we can have a nice weekend break with the dc's for my birthday.
Fil said he was working so he would just come up for the last day and sil has a villa booked for her 21st in feb with her friends so we didn't invite her partly because of this and partly because last time we went away with her and fil they ruined the holiday and I said I really didn't want to go away with them again.
When we went to mil at the weekend and she said that its still fine and that we could book it, then fil who is sat with us said oh I get my bouns paid in soon I will pay for the weekend we said oh no you don't need to do that but he insisted that he did then after we had it all booked we left.
We went over last night and fil said which nioght is your party dp told him friday and he said oh well I don't think I will work then and I will come for the whole weekend which is exactly what I didn't want because he spoilt the last holiday we had and I don't want him doing the same this time, but I was ok and just accepted that he was going to come and said to dp that we will just have to do things on our own and not do everything with him.
Now this is thebit that has really pissed me off, sil has decided that she is coming and has invited her friend who non of us have met and told her that she can share the twin room with her. This means ds hasn't got a bed now because it is 2 double 1 twin room mil and fil in the double me dp and dd in the other double and ds in the twin, I said no your friend can't come there isn't enough space and she said well my dad paid for the weekend and he said she can come so you will have to take ds's ready bed! I don't want to share a villa with someone I have never met and I didn't want sil to come in the first place thats why she wasn't invited dp thinks its ok and that I am over reacting but I just feel that we were ment to be having a weekend away with the dc's for my birthday and now its like its the il's holiday and we are the guests. It making me want to not go.

OP posts:

Dropdeadfred · 19/09/2008 10:46

so what are you doing about where your son will sleep?

Original poster

bogie · 19/09/2008 10:46

If we don't have a babysitter for the friday night we can't go to dp's work do which was part of the reason we have booked the holiday.

OP posts:

Beetroot · 19/09/2008 10:47

I would say

Darling, how lovely that your family have booked a weekend for you and the kids. it means I go go spend my 21st with my mates/family/up a gum tree

Dropdeadfred · 19/09/2008 10:49

You can't let your FIL keep running your lives for you...
With regard to the food last time I would have got chinese for everyone and told him to sort himself out..I cannot abide people like him

Dropdeadfred · 19/09/2008 10:50

I would let DP go to the works party himself. Then enjoy the rest of the weekend - seriously.

NorbertDentressangle · 19/09/2008 10:50

Can you not "down-grade" the size of villa to one with a double room (for you, DP and baby) and a twin room (MIL and DS) ?

That way theres nowhere for everyone else to sleep.

You could imply that there was a mix-up over the booking/that they didn't have any larger ones available or something??

(obviously you'd have to give FIL his money back and pay for smaller villa yourself)

Beetroot · 19/09/2008 10:51

Just TELL fil/dp that this will not work and if it is not sorted out you will pull out.

missjennipenni · 19/09/2008 10:55

I think missing the part and just having a weekend with Dp & Dc is worth it, compared to spending a weekend with all those people!

missjennipenni · 19/09/2008 10:55

*party

Carmenere · 19/09/2008 10:57

I would go to the work do and then leave them ALL there for the rest of the weekend and feck off and have fun with your friends. You are 21, you should be having fun with your friends, not trying to negotiate in laws.

Original poster

bogie · 19/09/2008 11:05

Carmenere I wish I could I lost touch with all my friend when I moved in with dp and had ds, and dd is bf so I can't leave her more than a few hours, thats what makes me so mad because we decide to do this so we culd have a nice break as we can't really go out and I can't drink much. The party was lovley last year they had a casino there and a lovley 3 course meal.

OP posts:

Dropdeadfred · 19/09/2008 11:10

is the nice party worth enduring the rest of the weekend for though????

TheProvincialLady · 19/09/2008 11:14

They have to decided to have a cheap jolly at your expense. I would rather cancel the whole thing and not do any of it to spite them, rather than have them treat you and most particularly your son like this. Is there no one else you can get to babysit that one night? You can kick all of the parasites out, give FIL back his money and have someone in your villa who actually gives a damn about you, your birthday and your family.

WendyWeber · 19/09/2008 11:17

God your FIL sounds awful. YANBU but your DP is. I know they're his family but sheesh.

As has already been said, you would be over-occupying - it's for 6 people, & a 2-yr-old counts as a person & has to have a bed. You can't have 7 people in a 6-person villa.

Tell FIL you will pay him back the money he has already paid out, & if he then wants to rent another villa for him, DIL & friend he is welcome.

Dropdeadfred · 19/09/2008 11:19

so what are you planing to do Bogie?

WendyWeber · 19/09/2008 11:19

SIL, not DIL, sorry

clam · 19/09/2008 11:23

I don't think there's much you can do about this whilst FIL is paying, annoying though that is. So, write him a cheque and take control back. And tell your DP exactly why you're unhappy about the antics last time and that you'd rather not have a repeat on your birthday.
YANBU, but even if you were, you're allowed to be when you're BF and it's your birthday!
So there!

Beetroot · 19/09/2008 12:03

agree wit hww

be strong

oh and start finding your own freinds

StewiesMom · 19/09/2008 13:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Mumi · 19/09/2008 13:30

Surely despite FIL paying, the discount means it's in DP's name? DP should just tell FIL/SIL that if SIL's friend turns up she will not be admitted as DS will be sleeping in the twin room and thus the villa will already be full.

TwoMore · 19/09/2008 17:14

Centre Parcs provide baby sitting dont they? Is that any help?

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