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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

....to get REALLY annoyed and exasperated that DH is vegan?

40 replies

AccidentalMum · 17/09/2008 20:16

I get so cross with it...I love, love, love to cook but do so less and don't enjoy it because I find the results so uninspiring. I feel that the kids are missing out on so much pleasure (they do have occasional dairy/ eggs/ fish) and I am run down and lethargic because I don't see the point in popping all the pills he does to complement the diet. I mean, I see why he does it, but taking tablets to replace what you are denying ourself seems a bit loony to me. I genuinely feel like the heart has been ripped out of my day though which is very dramatic but honest!

Obviously could eat meat etc, but it would be a nightmare, what with lectures, looks, having to cook and eat it really quickly because he wouldn't like it in the house. Also he gets grumpy if I prepare food he can't eat for tea.

In his defense, he cooks A LOT, especially batch stuff for DDs.

OP posts:

Ashantai · 17/09/2008 20:47

Sorry in my drunk state i thought your op read "to get really annoyed and exasperated that dh is a virgin" LOL , cos thats a whole other subject

I think its very unfair for him to impose his views on you. If i was given dirty looks for tucking into the bbq back of ribs i just ate, I'd grin and pour some more sauce on my chips

emj23 · 17/09/2008 20:47

To be fed up because your DH is vegan is a little unreasonable.

To be fed up because you've been forced into adopting a diet you don't enjoy is perfectly reasonable.

You should eat whatever you want to without worrying about dirty looks and lectures. He's made his choice, he shouldn't be making yours for you.

Original poster

AccidentalMum · 17/09/2008 20:47

Also....he is not controlling at all! DDs have very varied, full diet. God knows what he'd do if they were fussy.....he has DD1 who eats about 10 things and he never stops fretting.

OP posts:

cocolepew · 17/09/2008 20:49

He wants to be a vegan -fine. But you and your DCs don't. Tell him to fuck off if you get a look.

mmelody · 17/09/2008 20:55

YABU My DP is vegan and I am veggie bordering on vegan with occasional eggs. We have a varied and healthy diet. i cook all sorts of yummy meals and have both my DD 13 and DS 14months love what we eat. I do lots of reading and research about what where to get the nutrients from and to be honest our diet is more varied now than when we relied on meat and dairy. None of us take supplements and are all extremely healthy.

Why not get together and do some meal planning..

cheesesarnie · 17/09/2008 20:55

what do the dc want?

ScummyMummy · 17/09/2008 20:57

Sorry- was exaggerating. But I'm afraid he certainly is controlling about food, if what you say earlier is right. This bit:

"what with lectures, looks, having to cook and eat it really quickly because he wouldn't like it in the house. Also he gets grumpy if I prepare food he can't eat for tea."

Glad he's lovely in other ways.

newforold · 17/09/2008 20:57

but melody surely the point is that if the op wants to eat meat she should be able to do so without getting dirty looks etc.

Veganism is fine if that's your choice, but everyone else has the right to choice also.

LazyLinePainterJane · 17/09/2008 21:02

Well my point would be that if he needs to take endless supplements then he is doing it wrong and needs to change the type of foods that he is eating in order to get the nutrients he needs. Does he eat lots of pulses and where does he get his protein, for example?

Tiramissu · 17/09/2008 21:07

As emj23 said.

Could you have seperate meals few days a week and then have 2 or three veggie meals per week? This is what we do and it works for us.
DH and Dc have meat few times a week and i have my veggie meal. Then about 3 times a week we all have veggie meal. They enjoy it but wouldn't have it 7 days a week as i do.

But to those who say that veggie food is crap and shit, it is easy to follow it 'part-time' for the sake of eating the same meal.
You can have veg curry (veg and chickpeas), dishes with spinach and potatoes or rice, felafel, mexican burgers with kidney beans, many dishes with lentils... And if you use many herbs and spices it wont be dull.
Much cheaper than eating meat every day

chuggabopps · 17/09/2008 21:07

Another thing my BF does that can be a little odd is he buys cheese and ice cream for me, as if I get to eat what he would sectretly want (but cant let himself have).
I was a bit taken aback when he suddenly rushed off one day and appeared brandishing a magnum (when I had not even mentioned the idea of a desert). Do any of you get bought things that he used to enjoy, so you can enjoy it for him?

Original poster

AccidentalMum · 17/09/2008 21:08

ScrummyMummy....not offended at all!

LLPJ...I agree, he supplements for 'optimum nutrition'....lots of B vits etc. The kids get a supplement as a back up I suppose. He is a co-op memebr in a large vergan grocers so really on top of everything.

Melody...I would describe my eating as you do. I feel like I have tried very hard with cooking vegan but I miss animal products so som much.

OP posts:

MadameCastafiore · 17/09/2008 21:11

Bacon Sarnies.

MadameCastafiore · 17/09/2008 21:12

Sorry is the first thing that pops into my head when I hear the V word!!

ChukkyPig · 17/09/2008 21:15

YANBU accidental and I feel sorry for your situation. If DH wants to be a vegan, well that's fine. You clearly don't. And I think it is difficult to provide all the components a growing child needs in a veagn diet (not impossible - just difficult).

Ideally he would eat his food and you and the kids could eat a wider diet. It's this morally superior eyebrow raising stuff that gets on my tits causes the problem.

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