Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

To feel sorry for these two girls....

38 replies

SammyK · 17/09/2008 13:37

Have new neighbours, all very nice, all very, very overweight.

They have two primary school aged daughters who are both very big and I feel so sad for them.

I am not judgy about weight issues, but in this case these two girls are clearly overweight due to their family/home lifestyle and are too young to make changes themselves.

OP posts:

Carmenere · 17/09/2008 14:37

Oh god yes re the eating too much good food. I am overweight and I never eat rubbish, just too much good, healthy food. I know that if I don't exercise and don't stop eating when I'm full I will become obese. I would be huge if I ate crap food.

pamelat · 17/09/2008 19:20

I know a big lady with a very big (ok, fat) son, he is about 10.

I feel very sorry for him and often see him eating rubbish.

However, she also has a daughter who is a 'normal' size so maybe its not all about the mum?

dittany · 17/09/2008 19:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

wb · 17/09/2008 19:30

Being portly isn't the end of the world, neither is smoking or taking no exercise. They are just bad for your health.

loobeylou · 17/09/2008 19:39

Idobelieveinfairies - you don't say how old your 2 children are but is there any cause for medical concern? When my DD age 5 was the same height, weight and shoe size as DD aged 3 (who was and is admittedly tall for her age) the HV said we should get it checked out, as it may not just be a case of one taking after tall dad and one after short mum

turns out DD has coeliac disease, so although she was eating plenty she was not absorbing properly. A friend recently took her 2 yr old to see Dr as had apparently stopped growing (1cm in 6 months, no change in shoe size) and after 6 weeks on total dairy free diet (as he also had gross loose nappies) he had grown 5 cm and had loads more energy! Diagnosis , dairy intolerant.

I don't mean to scare you but there can be MANY reasons for short stature including , yuk, parasites, growth hormone imbalances, food intolerances etc. Or they might just have rapid metabolisms, but bear it in mind, please ( BTW, there is a formula in kids red health records where you can work out a really broad range of heights into which they should fall based on parental height, to reassure yourself)

loobeylou · 17/09/2008 19:42

sorry just to clarify, I mean their rapid metabolisms might explain why always hungry, not linked to their stature

MrsMattie · 17/09/2008 19:47

I don't think YABU, really. I was in a hospital waiting room a while ago and was sat opposite a family with a little boy of about 7 or 8 yrs old. They were lovely people - I was chatting away to the mum for ages and we got on really well. her little boy was hugely obese - rolls of fat around his neck and face, huge belly, had trouble moving about - and I wondered whetehr maybe that was why they were in the hospital, although I didn't pry. But during the 30 mins or so we were chatting, he asked for money for the vending machine three times and munched his way through a whole packet of cookies, a family sized bag of crisps and a big bottle of coke. the mum was a lovely lady and I didn't want to judge, but I did think - 'bloody hell', and I did feel sad for the little boy.

singingtree · 17/09/2008 19:52

I don't think YABU either, assuming there are no other circs. I once read an article about one of those kid diet camps in America where the children started complaining of pains in their stomach. Apparently they didn't recognise the sensation of hunger

edam · 17/09/2008 19:59

Hecate, where have you come across children who have heart problems as a result of obesity? Because I think you may be taking the message a little too far. Childhood obesity can cause heart trouble in later life. Children with heart problems generally have other reasons.

Type II diabetes is cropping up in children though, which is terribly sad. But I'm not sure how widespread it is, could be just a handful of cases.

cocolepew · 17/09/2008 20:03

There's a girl in my DDs school and she is very obese. She has been since starting school (she's about 9 now). I was talking to someone about illnesses of some description and she started to talk about this girl. She had been talking to her mum and out of the blue she started to talk about her DD's weight, and how hard it was for her, as she had a 'condition'. Now, the mum and Dad are both obese, I have seen the girl eating a Danish when being picked up for school. In the summer I saw her in the garage buying a lot of sweets, she actually had them opened before getting her change.

What I found sad is the mum was making excuses for her, nobody mentioned her weight and wouldn't have, so she knew she was overweight and was making excuses,, and when I saw her eating she was trying to hide the food as she was literally cramming it in.

The pressure on her heart and joints must have been shocking.

AbbeyA · 17/09/2008 20:14

YANBU to feel sad, the 2 girls are too young to be able to do anything about it. It is the parent's responsibility to make sure that they have a healthy diet, reasonable portions for their size and that they get exercise. I saw quite a few obese children on holiday and in every case they had obese parents.

glitterball · 17/09/2008 23:05

if their weight affects their mobility, and restricts them in terms of playing sports & generally being active then that would concern me. but children have different builds and grow at very different rates, so a child thats overweight now may not be in a couple of years........

personally, i dont like the current fad for labelling everyone - particularly children - as obese. are they really? or just overweight? i wonder what the op and others would think of my ds1 who was 10 last month. he's the height of an average 10 year old. he weighs 8 stone. he takes age 13 tops & age 12-13 trousers (to fit his waist - i shorten the legs).

he eats a varied diet, lots of fruit & veg, plays sports 3 times a week outside of school, walks to and from school every day, and in the school cross country last term came in the top 10, a long way ahead of lots of much thinner boys.

he gets teased for being fat and yes he is overweight on whatever scale you want to use. but aside from nasty comments he's a very happy boy & i refuse to make an issue of his weight so long as he's active & able to play sports without difficulty

hecate · 18/09/2008 16:43

edam - I did read that clogged arteries are showing up in obese children. Although no, I do not personally know any obese child whose parent has told me they have clogged arteries. So I'm just going on what I have read about the effects of obesity on children.

Flip

1 2