to think that there's such a thing as being 'too married'?

[Treeny]

Am v happily married to DH but we don't do everything together, and we do have some separate 'space'. But I know a few couples where there don't seem to be any dividing lines at all - they share email addresses and even text messages. While I have no objection to DH reading my email or my texts (though would find it a bit weird if he did it while I wasn't around), I think it's quite reasonable for people to think they are sending a message to one of you, not either/or.

I have a close friend who shares an email address with her DH, and I realised while I was staying with them recently that he opens her emails and reads them out to her! (She is not visually impaired, I hasten to add.) While I'm not sending emails that are rude about him or even especially confidential, I now feel slightly weird and self-conscious about emailing, knowing that this is how she receives them!

Also, same friend's DH thinks nothing of opening new text messages on her phone (yes, she just about manages to have her own mobile phone) - and replying on her behalf! I don't just mean she's in the bath or similar and asks him to do it for her - he does it before she's even seen the message.

AIBU to think this is just going too far? Some people really do seem to think that they and their OH are one and the same - and while I'm all for happy-couple-dom, isn't it OK to think that you can contact a married friend without their OH always being part of the conversation?

Bobbie - think you've expressed v eloquently what I was trying to say.

Imnotmama - it bothers me because I thought I was talking to one person, not two, and might express myself differently (or indeed not at all) if I knew.

tbh it bothers me that the friendship changes. Sometimes I want to go out with my friend without our husbands. Maybe she doesn't need to complain about hers but I feel the need to complain about mine!

Obviously it's people's own business and the 'why not if you've nothing to hide' argument is fine to a point but it's the smugness that is annoying (we must have amuch happier marriage than you as we don't hide anything from each other.

Why do it if you don't have to? Technology is a marvellous thing and you can have more than one email address or facebook account. Likewise, some people are so clever they can type in 2 email addresses if they want to email both of you at the same time.

You share a marriage not a kidney.