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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think changing a toddler's nappy in public is unacceptable when there is a change room 20 feet away?

66 replies

knittingmama · 15/09/2008 17:31

Having a disagreement with someone over this- I think at a certain age it's really unhygenic and disrepectful to change a child's nappy in public, in front of strangers, when there is a changing room nearby. (Of course when you're desperate you do what you have to...)

OP posts:

rookiemater · 15/09/2008 19:20

The smell of baby poo lingers for a long time after the event, so regardless of wether its a cafe or not I wouldn't be inflicting it on anyone in a closed space.

That's a disappointing story MB I think some people can't see any further than their own needs.

nickytwotimes · 15/09/2008 19:22

I have a lo and I still hate seeing nappies being changed in a public place, other than outdoors of course.
If they have pooed, I want to hurl. my friend puts her lo's dirty nappies in the kitchen bin in my house. [puke]

sarah293 · 15/09/2008 19:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

traceybath · 15/09/2008 19:38

Nappies in kitchen bins is just vile. And i have 2 children and still can't abide other children's nappies.

Riven - that must be a nightmare - am thinking she's in a wheelchair so you can't even do the standing up change of nappy thing.

Its only since reading mn that i've become so much better informed about the difficulties people with SN children face.

MoChan · 15/09/2008 19:55

I wouldn't change my LO anywhere public. I may be oversensitive about the issue, but I think even tiny newborns should be allowed a degree of dignity.

findtheriver · 15/09/2008 19:57

YANBU - I really don't understand why some people want to inflict their child's naked arse and shit on other people. It's not pleasant to see shitty nappies being changed, and there's no excuse when there are facilities there.

findtheriver · 15/09/2008 19:58

And yes I agree MoChan - it's about showing respect for your child as much as other people.

S1ur · 15/09/2008 20:02

I would change a wet nappy of baby outside on grass in summer rather then in grim changing room.

I would avoid changing nappy in museum/cafe and use their facilities.

I don't think it is about dignity but about air conditionning and hygiene.

Outside on grass I think is fair game.
Inside is potentially a different sitch.

I wouldn't frown on someone changing a nappy in the OP description, can't muster energy to care that much - however the person MB described is clearly a selfish twonk.

S1ur · 15/09/2008 20:09

Interesting about dignity.

What is undignified? Is it the wiping arse aspect?

Only ask, because both my dc like to strip off at every available opportunity so for me nudity alone is certainly not undignified or in any way disrespectful of them.

bubblagirl · 15/09/2008 20:20

i think if a child needs to be changed then change you must

my ds looks as though he just normal toddler not an autistic boy who is afraid of small spaces and loud noises so changing rooms are a no no

i have now come acustomed not to pay attention to others around me as his needs are my first concern and shouldnt need to scream from the roof tops that he is autistic

i will always make sure we have as much privacy and then quickly go for it no one needs to know he has autism and is houldnt feel the need to explain this

it is right when you have child with sn you become more tolerant of what another childs needs could be before judging as its hard for you as a parent to have a child who is unlike other children his/her age without being judged yourself for trying to do right by your child,

rookiemater · 15/09/2008 20:24

I must admit I hadn't thought of children with special needs when I posted.

I think the main thing is as bubblagirl says is to try to have as much privacy as you can. I just hate it when DH makes a big exhibition of changing DS in a public place, I guess if he found a quiet corner it wouldn't be so bad. Outside I'm not too bothered.

FourArms · 15/09/2008 20:24

I changed DS2 outside on the grass yesterday at Pennywell Farm (so sorry if I offended any of the above MNetters ). I would rather change him outside on the grass if there is space than in a stinky confined baby changing room. I wouldn't do it inside in public anywhere other than friends / relatives houses that I know wouldn't mind.

sarah293 · 15/09/2008 20:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

bubblagirl · 16/09/2008 09:16

i know riven have friends in same situation its not good but maybe something that needs to be bought to attention more to the right people

sarah293 · 16/09/2008 09:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

babymt · 16/09/2008 10:49

When i first saw this thread I thought it might have been about me as I changed my daughters (2yo) nappy outside a busy shopping centre in Brighton. Yes there were people fairly nearby but I picked an area out of the way behind the bike parking and did it as quickly as I possibly could.

My reasons for not going to changing room is because in this shopping centre the changing rooms are difficult to get into with a buggy through 2 doors. They're hot. Dark and smelly. I'm 7 weeks pregnant and the thought of being anywhere hot, dark and smelly makes my stomach turn. I almost passed out in TK Maxx coz it was so hot and that wasn't even smelly.

But YANBU if there was a changing room right there and she didn't use. Unless shes pg and couldn't face it

wasabipeanut · 16/09/2008 10:56

I wouldn't personally inflict my sons pooey bum on anyone in a confined space, although I agree that some changing areas are vile.

I wouldn't like to witness another toddlers change and certainly not in a confined space.

aquababe · 16/09/2008 11:07

I thought this was about my friend who changed her childs pooey nappy on a bench in a play park yesterday, next to a stranger.
Turns out her child had diahorea(sp?) didn't stop her changing it an hour later again on the bench
I too am 7 weeks prenant and thought i was going to hurl all over my friend and child.

The changing room was at the top of the hill, but still wished she'd used it.

Never thought about sn kids, that must be really tough and frustrating

MoChan · 16/09/2008 18:36

Slur, it's not about the nudity. Adults don't crap in public places and you wouldn't ask them to. To me, that's how it feels if you change a nappy very publicly.

And I'm not talking about doing it, say, in a park, when there's a good distance between you and everyone else; I think that's fine. I just don't like to see it done in a busy enclosed space or a busy street, for example. It makes me feel a bit sorry for the child.

KnickersOnMaHead · 16/09/2008 18:43

Message withdrawn

Flibbertyjibbet · 16/09/2008 19:08

I think outside is like smoking - ok outside in the open spaces, not ok indoors where other people might not like the smell!

I always tried to use changing facilities, I never changed even my own children downstairs and if anyone started looking like they were going to change a nappy on my carpet I'd smile and say 'oh we have a changing table upstairs'.

I developed this attitude cos SIL had a baby 10 weeks before me. I was 39 weeks and she changed a shitty nappy on her mothers sofa between her mother and (childless) bil, there were 4 other adults in that room and we had all just eaten a lovely sunday lunch. FIl suggested she might use the (large) downstairs bathroom. 'oh no I'm fine here' as we all gagged at the stink. Then she put the nappy in the kitchen bin to make sure the stink hung around longer.

Its not a matter of getting used to nappies once you have babies, its about remembering common decency after a baby takes over your life!!

(My comments are not directed at SN children - like others I am to say I had never thought about where they would be changed, and would be happy to join in any campaign etc for adult changing facilities)

hotCheeseBurns · 16/09/2008 19:16

Wow I'm really surprised by everyone's reactions to this!

I'm guilty of changing ds's nappy on friends' sitting room floors, in public (outdoors) and of putting nappies in kitchen bins (where are you supposed to put them?)

It never occurred to me that non-parents, let alone fellow mums, were so worried about a dirty nappy!

I'll be more discreet in future

ahfeckit · 16/09/2008 19:16

I change my ds anywhere that I see fit, and have to agree with others, some changing areas for babies/toddlers are so manky, I'd rather just change him in public on my knee.

JuneBugJen · 16/09/2008 19:21

My rules for nappy changing:

Anywhere outdoors is pretty much fair game, just be discreet.

In someones house, ask where they would like you to change the LO and do that. Then put nappy in bag and put where host tells you to, pref outside. Shit in kitchen bin, gag!!

In public, use baby changing rooms if possible. Take your own mini spray of dettol if that worried about hygiene.

Remember not all people thinks your LO craps roses.

sadminster · 16/09/2008 19:39

When I'm using disposables I always take dirty/wet nappies home with me - it really pisses me off when people think they can dump their kids nappies in my bin (even my kitchen bin ffs).

I prefer to use changing rooms because I can wash my hands. The number of people I see changing a filthy nappy then not washing their hands is incredible. That bothers me far more than the smell or sight of a naked bottom.

If the nappy changing area is rank (natural history museum springs to mind) I find a quiet corner & do it there (with a splodge of purell afterwards).

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