Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Refusing to get a loan on behalf of a friend?

33 replies

cheapskatemum · 15/09/2008 17:14

He's always got money problems because, as head of his family (oldest son, father has died), he takes responsibility for such things as his mum's replacement hip op. He sees the way out for me to get the loan and for him to pay it off by direct debit. He can't get the loan himself because he's not a British citizen. I've said no, because I don't even get loans for myself, I just live within my means. At the moment that's pretty tricky because I don't even have a job!

OP posts:
BitOfFun · 15/09/2008 17:15

NO, NONONONONO, don't do it!!!

QuintessentialShadow · 15/09/2008 17:16

NO NO NO!
DONT put yourself in debt, you have no guarantee he will pay. The loan agreement is between YOU and the lender.

Why does he think YOU should do this for him?

Lizzylou · 15/09/2008 17:17

NO, no way, don't even contemplate it

HollyGoHeavily · 15/09/2008 17:18

Don't do it, it will only end in tears - yours...

expatinscotland · 15/09/2008 17:19

absolutely NOT!

Lomond · 15/09/2008 17:19

No way, never ever do this! It is asking for trouble.

mummy5bellies · 15/09/2008 17:20

Please don't, you're a good friend to even consider it, but don't do it

TheCrackFox · 15/09/2008 17:22

YANBU. If the banks won't lend him money then you would be mad to lend to him.

cornsilk · 15/09/2008 17:22

Don't do it.

Original poster
cheapskatemum · 15/09/2008 17:31

Wow! Pretty unequivocal there then! Thank you so much all of you. I really felt awful refusing, but it just felt all wrong and you lot obviously all think so too. Thanks again.

OP posts:
memoo · 15/09/2008 17:39

please don't do this!!!!

how long have you known this guy?

Twelvelegs · 15/09/2008 17:43

DON'T DO IT!!!!

Jux · 15/09/2008 17:44

No no no. It's bad enough lending money you have, lending money you don't is worse, and borrowing in order to lend is appalling (and this is what it amounts to). Legally you and you alone will be responsible for the loan. You have no idea what could happen in the future and what do you do if he defaults? He can't have actually asked you to do this, can he?

Grumpalina · 15/09/2008 17:52

No. No. No. Foolishly I did this for my DP and father of my two DSs. I foolishly thought he could be trusted. However despite repeated requests to set up a regular direct debit so there would be no issue with making the payment he didn't. On a number of occasions he didn't transfer any money at all but didn't even tell me consequently I incurred penalty charges on my account for going overdrawn without prior arrangement and on a number of occasions too numerous to mention he didn't transfer before the due date and again I incurred penalty charge (which i have made him pay me back but that's not the point). The loan has now been paid off and he wanted me to take out another loan for him but he has been told, NO WAY EVER EVER EVER AGAIN!!!

mm22bys · 15/09/2008 18:10

Cheapskate,

I don't think you're right there. We were not born here, and so till recently were not British citizens, but we have always been able to get finance (mortgage easier than mobile phone contract)

I'd get your friend to try a bit harder to get his own finance

YANBU..

Yanda · 15/09/2008 18:16

No, don't do it!

cheshirekitty · 15/09/2008 19:10

Do not do it cheapskate. You will end up owing a lot of money.

nametaken · 15/09/2008 19:10

Another no

TheDevilWearsPrimark · 15/09/2008 19:25

I agree, and too have done it before and lived to regret it.

The 'friend' ended up losing touch with all our mutual friends because of it, so I guess what she lost is bigger than money, it makes me sad that she oculdn't have been honest from the start.

LittleBella · 15/09/2008 19:36

I don't know any friends at all who would be so impudent as to ask for such a thing, tbh. It's on a par with them asking you for a loan of your womb.

TheDevilWearsPrimark · 15/09/2008 19:37

I hope you are not serious?

hecate · 15/09/2008 20:07

No. Don't do it. The risk to you is great. Just tell him no.

If you feel bad though, you could always take the cowards way out and say you would be turned down because your credit rating is so bad, due to past problems.

dizzydixies · 15/09/2008 20:11

agree, definate NO

RubySlippers · 15/09/2008 20:12

i am amazed people can ask this of a friend

it only ever ends in tears

lilacclaire · 15/09/2008 20:14

SHOUTS FROM THE ROOF*
NO NO NO
Do you know how many people get shafted this way!! Check my occupation out, please don't do it!