Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

by not driving after having 2 glasses of wine?

51 replies

kerryk · 15/09/2008 12:45

we had a bit of a family gathering last night.

i was feeling a bit off so only had 2 small glasses of wine about 5-30-6-00.

my cousin was here with her threee small ds's and had quite a lot to drink.

about 9-00 she asked me what i had been drinking and i truthfully said 2 glasses, she then asked me to run her home to save the money on a taxi.

i refused point blank, i have never had a drink then driven. to me it is just not worth the risk and i would much rather just do without rather than trying to calculate if i am over the limit or not.

anyway this all resulted in a huge argument, there was no taxi's available till later on and i was made to feel guilty about the three young boys being out of bed so late.

chances are i would have been under the limit, nothing would have happened and the three little ones would have been home and in bed at a normal hour.

was i being a bit over the top?

OP posts:
mayorquimby · 15/09/2008 13:10

i would have driven but that's me.
you were completely right.you set your own policies about driving after drinking when under the limit and if you did not feel comfortable with driving,trying to force you to was idiotic.
you would have not been driving to your capabilities and would have been a danger to yourself but more importantly others on the road.

Cies · 15/09/2008 13:12

Your cousin is B totally U. Fine, she decides to drink. Fine, she asks you to take her home. But not fine that she has no regard for your answer or opinion.

Well done for sticking to your guns. In these cases I think it´s not so much the legal limit but how you the driver fee. What if there had been an accident?

FairLadyRantALot · 15/09/2008 13:12

Well...YANBU....but she was...
like you I would never have a alcoholic drink if I am planning on driving....!
The onus was on her to ensure she had either a taxi booked or arranged for a lift or whichever....oh, maybe she just could have not gotten drunk herself....

etchasketch · 15/09/2008 13:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

3littlefrogs · 15/09/2008 13:19

I know that I would not be fit to drive after 2 glasses of wine. Maybe after half a glass - but not 2.

Nobody should pressurise someone to drive after they have been drinking IMO.

Your cousin was irresponsible to have so much to drink, when she had 3 children to look after, and had not made sensible arrangements to get home. IMHO.

FairLadyRantALot · 15/09/2008 13:19

Thing is, Kerry, you said you felt a bit off, which was the reason you didn't drink more...but, if you are anyhting like me, then if you don't feel right alcohol will effect you completely different....or is that jsut me ...because I also notice a difference if I drink somehting in the day or in the evening...in the day a small glass of wine will make me as woozy as half a bottle would do at night, lol

littlelapin · 15/09/2008 13:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

expatinscotland · 15/09/2008 13:22

YANBU.

i don't drink and drive full stop.

nor does DH - he gets a bus, a taxi, cycles, walks or has a booze-free night.

same here, or crash over at a friend's house.

i'm a drinker, especially when it comes to wine, but even with tolerance like mine i don't think i'd be okay to drive after 2 glasses because i'm not a very big person.

expatinscotland · 15/09/2008 13:23

plus, i personally know several people who've been killed by drunk drivers. my folks just went to a funeral last week. the only child of some dear friends of theirs. he was killed by a drunk driver, age 43.

CatIsSleepy · 15/09/2008 13:24

your cousin should have made proper arrangements to get her and her kids home
or asked you in advance if you could give them a lift

there's nothing for you to feel guilty about
if you don't want to drive after drinking that's absolutely your decision and no-one should try and talk you out of it
very unfair
I wouldn't have driven either

do not feel bad about this

bellabelly · 15/09/2008 13:33

Tbh, even if yu hadn't hada drinkat all, I don't reall think ouhould feel guilty about not giving her a lift. Did you offer to drive her and kids home? If not, I think it's fine for her to ak, and fine for you to say no, even without the whole alcohol thing.

igivein · 15/09/2008 13:36

I worked as a police photographer so have been to lots of road accidents. I've held someone's hand whilst they pleaded with me not to let them die (they died). If you're ever tempted to drink and drive imagine what that feels like.

expatinscotland · 15/09/2008 13:39

here, here, igivein!

RIP, Candice Kim (1971-1992)

hatwoman · 15/09/2008 13:45

I err towards being with bellabelly - her kids her responsibility - you were under no obligation to give them a lift even if you were stone cold sober (though I'm sure you would have done, as would I). but to make a scene and make you feel guilty after you'd said no for good reason . she should have made proper arrangements - be it taxi, not drinking, or arranging a lift in advance. I might possibly suspend judgment if she was going through some great trauma that clouded her thinking but it wouldn't change that you were right to do what you did.

PavlovtheCat · 15/09/2008 13:50

God no! Well done you for sticking to your guns, her children are her responsibility not yours.

There is a strong chance you would have been over the limit. Wine used to be measured on being 125ml and around 9%, and would have been approx 1 unit. glasses these days are bigger and harder to measure, and are more likely to be 13%.
A woman can drink roughly 3 units ad then she is over the limit but this varies on the size of the person, so just under 3 can also be over the limit.

In your case, you could not know unless you knew for sure your glass was less than 125ml and less than 9% in strength.

Thats the legal part.

Then, if you were feeling unwell, you would be more likely to be affected by the alcohol in you, and depending on how much you had eaten you would also be less focussed.

I do not drink and drive because I know that sometimes 1 glass of wine can leave me tipsy, and other times I can drink 3 glasses and feel fine. You just cannot use your own judgement.

Well done.

trefusis · 15/09/2008 13:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

TheHedgeWitch · 15/09/2008 13:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

cornsilk · 15/09/2008 14:02

YANBU
Did anyone else say anything about it?

bellavita · 15/09/2008 14:13

I would not have driven.

noonki · 15/09/2008 14:13

YANBU

as for feeling bad about her kids -

firstly her kids, she should have sorted it earlier

secondly you would have felt a hell of a lot worse should you have crashed the car with them in it

some days alcohol can affect you more than others so a no-drink and drive policy is best

Twelvelegs · 15/09/2008 14:14

YANBU at all.

mummy5bellies · 15/09/2008 14:41

My drink drive limit is NIL, so well done you for sticking to your guns, she got ripped so it was her responsibility, not yours, to get her family home safe x x

PinkyDinkyDooToo · 15/09/2008 14:43

YANBU. It is good you stuck to your guns.

Original poster
kerryk · 15/09/2008 20:48

well at least now i know its not just me who would have said no.

i went up tonight and nothing was mentioned about last night so hopefully it is all forgotten about.

i am such a wimp at times, i hate to think i have caused bad feeling with people.

OP posts:
LaVieEnRoseWine · 15/09/2008 20:52

i would never have even a thimle of alcohol and drive, it's just not worth it. YANBU.