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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be unable to bring myself to buy someone a baking tray as a wedding present?

31 replies

tigana · 13/09/2008 17:53

Wedding list at John Lewis.
Yaaaawwwwn.

DH's cousin. Don't know them terribly well, so can't really risk deviating from list and buy something interesting/attractive.

Do they really want a pizza tray and a cooling rack and two pastry brushes? ( not sure why they need two...?!).

OP posts:
pointydog · 13/09/2008 17:54

My sister had lots of dull stuff on her list. You don't Have to buy from the list. You could even just give John lewis vouchers.

SmugColditz · 13/09/2008 17:55

The whole point of wedding presents was to kit the new couple's house out a bit, so yabu

queenbea · 13/09/2008 17:56

I have 2. I keep 1 just for oil . I like baking trays but you are not obliged to buy them something you don't want to, although its certainly easier when you hardly know them.

Carmenere · 13/09/2008 17:58

YABU I would LOVE a decent baking tray and two pastry brushes (one for sweet stuff, one for savoury)

Original poster
tigana · 13/09/2008 17:59

colditz I know...but it's sooo boring! .

Ho hum.. a pizza tray and a bun tray it may have to be then.
Or a meat thermometer?

I just don't know them well enough to take a chance on picking something 'off list' that they may already have/hate the style of.

OP posts:
MamaG · 13/09/2008 17:59

Yep YABU I'm afraid

I searched Richmond for a big cake tin today and couldn't find one - wish I'd put one on a wedding list

imananny · 13/09/2008 18:03

I asked for a baking tray for my wedding

and got it, as well as electric carving kinfe - which hubby loves!!

They must want it or wouldnt have put on their list

Original poster
tigana · 13/09/2008 18:03

I never appreciated the joy non-stick items could bring!!

OP posts:
Original poster
tigana · 13/09/2008 18:04

I knew I could rely on MN to gently slap me into shape about this!

OP posts:
imananny · 13/09/2008 18:04

non stick are fab, till hubby uses a wool scrubber on them

sighs

kitbit · 13/09/2008 18:04

Why not combine two things from different parts of the lists? We got a friend a set of piping bags and some welding goggles and included a note to say that it was a reflection on his cooking skills, not hers (we were friends of groom)? Makes dull lists more fun!

NumberFour · 13/09/2008 18:11

My sister-in-law (to be at the time ) pitched up uninvited and unexpectedly at our wedding (it's an irrelevant story why she was not invited).

we were invited to hers for dinner a few weeks after the wedding and she presented us with a beautiful kitchen clock for our wedding present. she told me that she had seen the list we had set up at Debenhams BUT DID NOT LIKE ANYTHING ON THE LIST so she decided to buy us the clock.

I love the clock

but I was appalled at her blatant rudness at the choices we had made. we did not choose the things we did to make our guests happy. we chose them because we had very little to start out our new life together.

i know that pastry brushes and so on are dead dull and boring, but that's what they chose.

So, as one of the other posters said, how about giving them a gift voucher from J Lewis. But please please please whatever you do, don't tell them you did not like the things that they chose!

(we do not see my sister-in-law at all. i heard via the family grapevine that she has lost contact with us. ho hum. i have enough other stuff going on to be concerned about that!)

Original poster
tigana · 13/09/2008 18:21

Done. Pizza tray, bun tray, cooling rack.

Would never tell them their list was not inspiring!! We see them maybe once a year - at christmas, for about 30 minutes!

OP posts:
potatofactory · 13/09/2008 18:25

I agree with the idea of combining incongruous items off the list - just for fun, not to make a joke. I bought a friend a pedestal mat (yes they are called that) and a rice spoon. Just for my own amusement. The thank you card was good! More amusement afforded there.

snooks · 13/09/2008 18:26

Some of us get terribly excited by the Lakeland catalogue you know

LilRedWG · 13/09/2008 18:29

Our wedding list including lots of things like baking trays - it kitted out our first house and was terribly exciting for us. If you'd like something a little more personal, do get that as well, but please also buy from their list - it was fantastic for us.

LilRedWG · 13/09/2008 18:29

included

smurfgirl · 13/09/2008 18:30

Oh god my list has a baking tray and a cooling rack on it :blush:

mabanana · 13/09/2008 18:32

I think baking trays and saucepans should be on wedding lists, not poncey crap. Wedding presents are about setting people up in their new lives. And a good, big, unbendable baking tray is a wonderful present. For a start it will be used regularly and enjoyed. There are lots of things in my kitchen that were wedding presents and I often think of the person who gave them to us when I use them.

Original poster
tigana · 13/09/2008 18:34

I don't have anything against baking tray...nor people who like them or want them as wedding presents!
It's not you, it'sme (as the saying goes..)
I suppose I just think of "presents" as being something other than "normal" stuff.and find it hard to buy people those sort of things as 'presents' ( despite understanding wedding lists and 'new homes' etc)..

OP posts:
LilRedWG · 13/09/2008 18:36

Just get both - they'll love you for ever and you'll be happy

imananny · 13/09/2008 18:37

oh god smurfgirl, i had forgotten i also had a cooling rack to go with my baking tray

also had a wok

mazzystar · 13/09/2008 18:38

i think its great that they
a. haven't just asked your for the cash [see other thread in active convos]
b. have had the decency to realise that they need to put some inexpensive gifts on the list so that its affordable for all their guests to get them something and its not all dualits and gaggias

i think gifts with more personality are best kept fvr close friends whose taste you really know

mumeeee · 13/09/2008 18:54

YABU. My Niece had a lot of dull but useful stuff on her list.

Upwind · 13/09/2008 18:58

YABU to sneer at their choices

Your interesting and attractive ornament is somebody else's piece of tat destined for a charity shop.

YANBU to just give them vouchers or cash, or an imaginative gift you are sure they will enjoy.