Ds and I are supposed to be going away tomorrow abroad with my parents. I had hoped that dh would take ds out this morning and get the shopping so I could get our holiday packing done but he had to do some video thing for work, so i took ds out to tesco while he did his did work.
Tesco on a Saturday with toddler in tow is not pleasant - even though ds was spectacularly well behaved and only had one minor meltdown because i wouldn't let him eat the bananas until we'd paid for them - but parking OMFG what a nightmare!?!? As usual there were no P&T spaces so I just parked right at the back of the car park where there were no other cars and thought that would be ok because no one would park close because they were all hovering round the P&T spaces and the spaces near the door trying to park. Ha!! I thought. The fools!
So I managed to do all my shopping and got back to the car only to find another car parked diagonally across the space next to mine, so close that I couldn't get ds into his car seat. There were cars circling round the whole the time so I couldn't even back out and then get him in and had 4 big bags of shopping to put down anyway. I mean WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE?!?!?! Did they look at my car and think, "Oh look, a baby seat, I know - I'll park really fucking close to the passenger door, making it extra hard to get the kid in! What a laugh!!" There were about 15 other spaces they could've parked in WHY PARK RIGHT NEXT TO MINE?!?!?!?!?!!?!?
Anyway, so I get home, having calmed down, and dh is there staring blankly at his laptop, and i go, "Have you finished your work stuff?" (We'd been gone over 2 hours so I assumed he'd had loads of time to do the thing) And he goes, "No - I've barely even started."
Cue me practically exploding with rage at him - it's bad enough that he has to work on a Saturday anyway, never mind a Saturday which I could really use his help with ds on - but then he spends the time i give him to work wanking about and not doing the work he's supposed to be doing. FOR FUCKS SAKE!! Is he some kind of blithering idiot or does he do it on purpose to make sure he has to do minimum effort with ds and housework etc?
So - he offers to take ds out to the park (about 3 hours too late, but better late than never, eh?) and he says, "Is there anything you need me to get while I'm out?" And I say, "Oooh, actually, I forgot to get pudding for tomorrow's lunch, can you pop to Sainsbury's while you're out and get an apple pie and some cream or something?" And he just looks at me blankly and goes, "Why - are your parents coming for lunch?"
I try to explain to him - not controlling my rage very well at all - that no, my parents ARE NOT FUCKING COMING FOR LUNCH TOMORROW the lunch event that we are hosting tomorrow is for Mars, you know, the doula, the thing that's been on the calendar for nigh on a month and the THING I REMINDED YOU ABOUT THIS FUCKING MORNING!!!
Right - so here's the thing. I don't have a problem remembering what I'm doing (most of the time!) Yes - sometimes I make mistakes, but on the whole I can manage to remember where I need to be and when and - for the large part - why. I don't simply forget something someone's told me that morning. I don't just park diagonally in the car park - and if i do have to park close to someone i make sure there aren't baby blinds or a car seat in the back. It's not hard is it? I'm not a genius! I'm a normal person - why can I manage it and the rest of the world not? And why why WHY can dh not see how frustrating it is for me when he fucks things up for me when i'm really stressed and hormonal and pregnant at the best of times?
I'm perfectly willing to be told i'm being unreasonable. I'm perfectly willing to be told to get a life and stop ranting and go and do some farking packing.
But - I do feel better for this massive rant.
(Sorry)