To not want to wipe my nephew's bum?

[Upwind]

My DH's nephew has just turned 4 and was visiting last night with SIL. He called me to wipe his bum having done a spectacularly stinky poo.

He wanted me to wipe it, but I said it was a job for Mummy I've no doubt she would have preferred that I deal with it. So was I being unreasonable, would you have done it?

[Lazycow]

Well 4 year olds should be wiping their own bums I suppose but I'm not sure they alwyas do a very good job of it.

I rememeber my nephew at age 5 playing on my bed without his pants on (don't ask!) after having been to the loo and I noticed that he had most certainly not wiped his bum well.

He thought he had but just hadn't. I didn't have any children at the time but just took him to the loo and sorted it out. Not my favourite memory of dn but someone had to do it!

[MrsThierryHenry]

I was just about to post a (kindly) YABU message but have just noticed that you've not yet had the pleasure of wiping your own bambinos' botts. Ahh, the joy. Once you've done it to a fully-weaned child (i.e. not gently-scented milk-poos but full-scale bum blasters) you probably won't bat an eyelid.

Good luck with your pregnancy and birth/ adoption/ whatever way you're soon to become a mum!

[Upwind]

Thank you Mrs TH!

His plaintive "but I want YOU to do it" is still ringing in my ears

[Shoegazer]

Yes of course I would, but I wipe bums for a living so I'm abit meh about it all.

[2shoes]

yanbu

[Charlee]

My ds is 4 next week and he doesn't wipe his own bum............. oh joy now days ahead of constant worrying he's not developing normaly god im sad.

[MrsThierryHenry]

Hummm...do you think he was testing your limits, Upwind?!

[Upwind]

at a preschooler testing my limits in such a devious way... though, the last time I was left with him for a couple of hours he did try and test how I would respond to deliberate naughtiness!

Now I suspect that SIL will smirk as she hands my own stinky baby back to me

[mumof2222222222222222boys]

My DS is 4 next week and he does wipe himself...it's just that he is not yet very good at it. I'd rather assist than deal with the pants! Mind you I wouldn't be thrilled if it was DN and his mummy/daddy were there!

[JuneBugJen]

rather not handle anyone elses stinky bum than mine or dcs, but at a push would have wielded the loo roll...eurgh.

[FAQ]

I would have done it without thinking, my own DS's poo, other children's poo - all the same - it stinks - that's life

[Tommy]

we were having big family Easter Sunday lunch one year and DS1 went to the loo and then called out "Aunty X - Ive finished - please come and wipe my bottom"

We all congratulated her on being the chosen one.....

I have wiped a lot of bottoms - not really bothered anymore!

[bloomingfedup]

He should be wipe his own shit of his arse by now. YANBU.

[Upwind]

Tommy, so I am not alone in being chosen!

[Tommy]

exactly - you are honoured...

[bloomingfedup]

I'm not surprised that there are lots of 4 year olds who don't wipe their own bums but they should be encouraged to do it. At school they need t be able to wipe their own bottom.

[WigWamBam]

My daughter couldn't wipe her own bum when she was four. Hell, she wouldn't even poo in a toilet without screaming the place down when she was four!

I'd have done it without even questioning it - unless his mum was standing right beside me, of course.

It's a bit of poo - no big deal in the scheme of things.

[Twiglett]

I actually am surprised that there are loads of 4 year olds who can't wipe their own bums or do it properly. I really am surprised.

[Anna8888]

My daughter (3.10) can wipe her own bottom but doesn't do a terribly thorough job. As she has terribly sensitive skin and easily gets horribly irritated, I do encourage her to call me to wipe her bottom.

And she has a shower straight after school.

[TheFallenMadonna]

I wiped ds's friend's bottom when he came for tea once. I was when he yelled for me. He was 5. I think he does have some issues and is being assessed for dyspraxia now. But still. Bleurgh.

[Twiglett]

child who doesn't wipe its own bum shouldn't be on playdates without a parent I have, just this second, decided.

[Lazycow]

Really Twiglett? Sometime I have trouble wiping ds's bottom properly and I need to do it several times to get him clean. loo paper just doesn't always seem to cut it for some reason
Ds is very unlikely to wipe more than once in a very cursory way

I suppose having a 5 year old nephew (with no dispraxia) who couldn't always do it properly (and no he wasn't a PFB at all) made me think that was normal. Obviously it isn't

[Twiglett]

I have had 3 year olds tell me they can't wipe their own bottoms because, and I quote, 'my arms are too short' ... LOL

[SmugColditz]

LOL

A friend took my then 4 year old to the loo for me, and she came back and told me she made sure she wiped him bum well...

"Why?"

says I, bemused... because I haven't wiped his bum since he was three!

[Anna8888]

What other criteria would you use to assess the suitability of children in terms of development and skills to come alone to your house on a playdate, Twiglett?