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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

My colleague is pissing me off cause she hardly eats anything, then wonders why she feels faint and anxious........

23 replies

DrNortherner · 11/09/2008 14:11

I love her to pieces. She is fab, funny and very kind.

She can go a whole day without eating a thing. She tells me this.

Or she will get a sarnie cause she is ravounous cause she ate nothing the day before. Then she will not eat for the rest of the day.

I tell her to eat. She nods and says I'm right, then the next day she'll tell me she hasn't.

OP posts:
MaloryDontDiveItsShallow · 11/09/2008 14:12

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JuneBugJen · 11/09/2008 14:13

Keep a supply of lard in your desk drawer. Next time she says anything of this sort pull out a block and offer it to her.

Lard=instant energy. (I think )

snigger · 11/09/2008 14:14
snigger · 11/09/2008 14:15

x-post June!

Lard lovers unite

TheProvincialLady · 11/09/2008 14:15

Best not to comment on what she eats or tell her to eat. It only feeds into her disorder.

mummyloveslucy · 11/09/2008 14:16

How old is she ? are you on a diet or talk about diets in front of her?
Does she have friends at school on diets. This could be a bit dodgy according to her age and reasons for doing it.
Talk to her and try to find out why. Talk about body image etc and let her know about the dangers of not eating enough.
Good Luck.

Megglevache · 11/09/2008 14:16

Is she fat?

JuneBugJen · 11/09/2008 14:17

LOL snigger! Its a Lardfest.

Rubyrubyruby · 11/09/2008 14:17

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compo · 11/09/2008 14:17

I have a male colleague like this.
he is mid 20s and seems to exits on roll ups and caffeine
He runs out of money towards pay day and as he only lives round the corner he comes in to get the coffee in his locker cos he can't afford to buy a jar for home...

Rubyrubyruby · 11/09/2008 14:19

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DrNortherner · 11/09/2008 14:20

I ma not on a diet, and I trough all day long

She is 36.

OP posts:
mummyloveslucy · 11/09/2008 14:30

Wow, 36!

I thought you were talking about a young child of primary school age for some reason. Can you talk to her about your concerns and try to get her to get help if needed.

suwoo · 11/09/2008 14:32

mummyloveslucy....why would DrN's colleague be a school aged child?

FfreckleFface · 11/09/2008 14:36

Attention seeking.

No one with genuine eating disorder would make a big thing out of it.

I worked with a size 8 girl who constantly moaned about feeling soooooo full after a lunch of two lettuce leaves, and would make a huge issue about not eating.

Just ignore her - if it doesn't get attention, it'll stop.

mummyloveslucy · 11/09/2008 14:38

Omg What an ideot I didn't read the top bit.
I just asumed she was talking about her daughter.
I'm just going to tip tow off now before anyone else notices.

SmugColditz · 11/09/2008 14:53

it's attention seeking behavior and is best ignored. Anyone with a genuine desire to starve without this being noticed would not be commenting on how they haven't eaten. Smile faintly and say "Oh. Ok." And then change the subject.

As you like her, it's worth doing this, because the other alternative is to stop talking to her!

I hacve a long time friend who, as a teen (and 2 stone lighter than me), used to whine about her tiny size 6 frame being "Fat" and "Bloated" and would ask constantly "Do I look fat, God, I've put on so much weight, do I look fat?"

and at first, the flurry of reassurances that no, she was not fat, seem to sate her need for attention ... but it continued. And one evening, she had upset me with it and I was moaning to my mum about it, who gave me some advice ...

So the next day, She started up with "God, I am so fat, I must be a stone overweight, " etc etc, and I mentioned that Weight Watchers had free registration that week. She was stunned. She said, "Do you really think I'm fat?" and I told her that it didn't matter what I or anyone else thought, if she felt fat, she should go to weight watchers.

And, in 14 years, she has never ever mentioned it again - except this year, occasionally, because we are now both overweight!.

StayFrosty · 11/09/2008 15:00

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TheProvincialLady · 11/09/2008 15:16

I disagree Colditz, you can have an eating disorder and feel compelled to talk about food, diets etc all the bloody time ad nauseum. But the response is the same either way, don't enter into discussion on the subject as you will only make her do it the more.

SmugColditz · 11/09/2008 16:20

Ok, maybe not such a good plan to tell someone who may have an eating disorder to go to weight watchers.

dittany · 11/09/2008 16:24

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SmugColditz · 11/09/2008 16:25

Ok, ok I'm wrong. Sorry.

maybe leave some eating disorder literature on her desk?

Lazycow · 11/09/2008 16:32

Well tbh I have a male colleague who is like this and my uncle was too. Both of them very slim (not thin) and fit well into their 50's and 60's. My colleague often says he won't be eating that night because his partner isn't in so he won't bother to cook [hmmm] - Wish I was like that. He ofen doesn't eat for 24 hrs at a time because he forgets or isn't hungry.

I think some people are genuinely not bothered about food and don't really think about it until they are starving. I don't personally think that is a bad way to be actually, particularly in a society that has so much food available, and certainly wasn't or isn't an indication of an eating disorder in either my colleague or in my late uncle.

Whether it is an indication of an eating disorder in the OP's colleague is hard to tell just from what was posted.

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