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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be gobsmacked at how ignorant and obtuse this GP was??

32 replies

BouncingTurtle · 09/09/2008 20:17

Had a medical today (required by company) and I left feeling and
Firstly he was questioning my breastfeeding, asking me if DS had teeth!! Then when I said I think DS is cutting his first he said, oh well you won't be able to bf anymore WTF???
He then asked when I planned to stop so I very pointedly reminded him of the WHO and NHS guidelines of 2 years and beyond and when he tried to suggest that there was not much benefit in continuing I shut him up saying I'd read the research and know DS is getting immunological support and other benefits from continuing to be bf.
Then he came across as very critical of the fact I work full time, and that I should feel totally shitty leaving ds with another person to be looked after!! He kept really labouring the point that it is hard leaving ds in nursery, yes I know it is fucking hard, so why the fuck are you rubbing my face in it
And if that wasn't enough he suggested I should look for another job and that so should DH when I mentioned he works 50 miles away from where we live!!!!!!

I just laughed it off, because if I hadn't I think I would have either cried or twatted him

Wanker of the highest order IMVHO

Sorry about the rant...

OP posts:
Megglevache · 09/09/2008 20:19

God that is outrageous.

nickytwotimes · 09/09/2008 20:20

What a twonk.
There are some really shite, ill-informed GPs. My vegetarian friend was told she was putting her unborn baby at risk by not eating steak! She wasn't even aneamic, btw.

squigglywig · 09/09/2008 20:20

Report him to the company who required the medical?

His job was to assess your medical state not your parenting surely?

for you. Twunt.

traceybath · 09/09/2008 20:22

Unfortunately some gp's are very uninformed and tactless when it comes to breastfeeding etc.

My old GP (i switched because of his attitude) tutted and told me i clearly wasn't a natural when i said i was struggling with bf at my 6wks post natal check.

Could be worth a letter to the practice manager.

megcleary · 09/09/2008 20:22

and was he happy sailing the ark!!!!the ignorant fool

Original poster
BouncingTurtle · 09/09/2008 20:22

I'm going to speak to my boss in the morning.
Maybe I should have kicked up a fuss then. I've been going to this doctor for company medicals for 8 years and always thought he was ok, but I guess you cannot tell!
Fuck knows hows going to react when I turn up at next year's medical and I'm still bfing ds!

OP posts:
LynetteScavo · 09/09/2008 20:22

Yes, you should stay at home and formular feed, obviously.

traceybath · 09/09/2008 20:23

Should add my new GP is lovely - don't want to bash all gp's - just some

Original poster
BouncingTurtle · 09/09/2008 20:29

The GPs at my home practice are great, always nod approvingly when I mention I'm still bfing when they see me with ds, which is great as I live in an area where bfing rates are very low.

OP posts:
Jux · 09/09/2008 20:29

Im sorry, but I disagree. I think he was being really responsible and though he was meant to be assessing your physical health, a good doctor will also be interested in emotional health. I think he may just have been sounding you out on alternatives, giving you an opening to express worries that you have about any of these things, or perhaps an opportunity to start talking if you were pressurised unwillingly into any of these decisions (it does happen).

I imagine your response told him that you were fine with all of it.

StripeyKnickersSpottySocks · 09/09/2008 20:33

Sounds like the GP who years ago told me I should marry DP (I was pg) as "you will get lots of presents bought for you and someone may get you a washing machine". I didn't need a washing machine buying for me as was employed with good job. But she treated me like I was a poor, single mum on benefits. Not that anyone on benefits should be spoken to like that! She went on and on about how me and DP were more likely to split up if we weren't married. Grrrrr. I only went in for a prescription.

almostblue · 09/09/2008 20:42
Original poster
BouncingTurtle · 09/09/2008 20:43

Jux, perhaps but he needs lessons in tact. He could have phrased it a lot better.

OP posts:
Elasticwoman · 09/09/2008 21:39

Some doctors are surprisingly unsupportive of bf, which is strange. This one was very impertinent. Perhaps you just need some repartee up your sleeve for next time eg "you're just jealous because you didn't get enough breastmilk yourself" and "I believe the company is paying for your opinion on my health, so could you confine your remarks to that please".

But I had mastitis on holiday once, when I was still bf ds then aged 2. When I saw how old the gp was, I felt sure he would tell me the mastitis was my own fault for still bf (he was just this side of retirement) but he was lovely, really sympathetic.

macdoodle · 10/09/2008 10:22

Hi BT
As you know I am still BF 8 and half month old DD2...am also a working GP...am also a working mum.....
So I guess I can see both sides to this - I went to my GP for DD2 8 month check (who I also know personally)...and even she looked a bit ataken back I was still BF ...
I think that no harm was meant TBH and he was just being a man rather than a typical GP...and was perhaps TRYING to be sensitve and understanding just a bit tactless...
Don't get upset by it just keep doing what you are you are doing fab...and much sympathies on the work I know how hard it is but it does get easier...my DD1 was in full time nursery and she is fab little girl now age 7

PeppermintPatty · 10/09/2008 10:30

God some doctors are knobheads. And very ill-informed too.

My GP actually told me that it wasn't that bad to smoke whilst pregnant because it meant you had a smaller baby and therefore an easier labour

What a horrible experience for you though, I hope you feel better now.

PinkTulips · 10/09/2008 10:50

[sigh]

i'm actually hoping to bump into one of these knobhead medical professionals one day so i can use my arsenal of facts and figures to grind them into a snivelling little ball on the floor but i seem to keep getting the well informed, totally unfazed ones!

at my ante natal booking in i got really excited as i had a very nosy, quite blunt, sighing alot mw so when she asked me had i bf my other kids i jumped in with 'i still am' and got all excited at the prospect of war....... only to have her respond 'excellant' and turn back to the pc

my gp is annoyingly placid about it too, didn't even seem surprised when i said i was still feeding ds and need bf-ing safe ABs when he was 18 months old, especially considering no one around here seems to bf for more than a few weeks

[pink wonders if she has 'breastfeeder, do not antagonise' tattooed on her forehead that's tipping them all off ]

chipmonkey · 10/09/2008 11:18

actually, PT, I have yet to find an antagonistic GP in Ireland and that's in 12 years of bfing ( not continuous!) But I think the bfing rates are so low here that the medical profession are intstructed to give medals to anyone who bfs past 6 weeks!

LazyLinePainterJane · 10/09/2008 11:23

The best response to these sort of things is just "are you this misinformed about all aspects of your work?"....

PinkTulips · 10/09/2008 11:28

lol, quite possibly the case!

[whines] but i wanna fight

just a lickle one, just so i can feel like a real lactivist

seriously though, i was really impressed with the bf info castlebar are giving out in the ante natal notes. it's really honest, factual, there are tips for dealing with comments from family, totally up to date with WHO guidlines. was a pleasant change from the nonsense that was being put about bu UCHG 4 years ago when i was having dd.

ScottishMummy · 10/09/2008 11:40

dearie me!insensitive gp,if you had wanted a hard time about FT working and nursery you could have come on MN for that

some GP's Great some not,thank god not all like that though

Anna8888 · 10/09/2008 11:46

YABU.

I think he was trying to assess your family's collective stressors and to try to point you gently in the direction of a slightly easier life.

Two full-time jobs, breast fed baby in nursery, one partner with a very lengthy commute... I think all that sounds the GP's warning bells. He isn't criticising, he is concerned.

ScottishMummy · 10/09/2008 11:55

her circumstances are same as mine,no gp gave me a hard time or suggested alternative employment

i had a BF baby in nursery,can be done
my partner works away from home and out of UK too

rebelmum1 · 10/09/2008 12:12

He was probably concerned about the amount of stress you were under, but doesn't sound very tactful.

rebelmum1 · 10/09/2008 12:13

A GP once told my friend she needed a boyfriend but was unable to prescribe one

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