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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to dislike my bump being touched

23 replies

Upwind · 09/09/2008 11:53

Everyone seems to be at it now, including mothers with young children. I don't want to cause drama so allow friends and family to do it but I don't understand why it is okay!

OP posts:

Chequers · 09/09/2008 11:57

No one touched mine except DH - I must look very unapproachable.
YANBU.

cheesesarnie · 09/09/2008 11:58

yanbu.people do seem to think they have a right.when they touch your belly touch theres back -see what they say

Original poster

Upwind · 09/09/2008 12:00

cheesesarnie

why did I not think of that?

OP posts:

cheesesarnie · 09/09/2008 12:01

youll get a few odd looks but it will work

Original poster

Upwind · 09/09/2008 12:01

Chequers, I am going to have to try and look more fierce

OP posts:

hollyandnoah · 09/09/2008 12:02

People on the bus!!! touched mines i was like And then a girl who worked in Topshop did when i was looking for a
Christmas dress. I didn't know people actually did that - just touch strangers. Crazy.

Yanbu - they are strange! I'd never even think about rubbing a strangers belly.

cheesesarnie · 09/09/2008 12:03

or say what you doing?when they say touching bump/baby etc say im not pregnant

im nasty

PeppermintPatty · 09/09/2008 12:05

YANBU.

I didn't like it either, especially when it was a stranger or someone I didn't know very well.

I also didn't like it when people commented on the size of my bump (as in "OMG you're massive").

Original poster

Upwind · 09/09/2008 12:11

at "but I'm not pregnant!"

OP posts:

ElenorRigby · 09/09/2008 12:12

YANBU!
I found it odd that people thought they could put their mits on me when I was pregnant! I wouldnt dream of doing that!

Original poster

Upwind · 09/09/2008 12:13

So with a unanimous YANBU from MN

WHY do people in real life keep doing it?

OP posts:

pingviner · 09/09/2008 12:27

find intercepting hands and saying something with a smile like "I AM NOT A LUCKY BUDDAH!" usually works - Im really not a touchy feely person outside my own comfort zone. Most people seem to accept it and laugh - although I have asked a few complete strangers if they would come up and pat my abdomen if I was not pregnant - and when most look at you as if you are nuts - ask them why they feel its acceptable now? I know people dont mean anything bad by it but FFS my body plus baby, however much room we are currently taking up is still not public property...

MrsMattie · 09/09/2008 12:28

I have tried really hard not to be precious about it with my second pregnancy and have even said 'yes of course!' smilingly when friends have asked if they can touch it. BUT...I still hate it. it makes my skin crawl. The only people I don't mind touching are my husband, mum and sister.

MrsMattie · 09/09/2008 12:28

...oh and my 3 yr old DS!

JRocks · 09/09/2008 12:31

YANBU, I hated it. I was in St Mark's Square in Venice when a crazy lady came up to me gabbling away nineteen to the dozen and then started stroking me

poppy34 · 09/09/2008 12:31

am with pingviner...although strangely didn't happen to me much -must have perfected the don't you even try it lot (either that or was blatantly obvious that my temper was on a VERY short fuse throughout my pregnancy)

YANBU

jamescagney · 09/09/2008 12:32

and I will be the horrible person who says you are so lucky to have a bump. I'm 19 weeks pg and nada, can't wait to have a bump for people to comment on! Spose it is a bit soon...

poppy34 · 09/09/2008 12:37

be careful what you wish for jamescagney...no bump really at 19 weeks (was able to surprise some when annoucnced pregnancy at 20 weeks)..by 24 weeks howver it was another story!

Original poster

Upwind · 09/09/2008 12:41

James - my bump sort of popped out at about 19 weeks and that is when the trouble started.

I also hate comments about how small I am, and up until recently "are you sure you are pregnant at all"

OP posts:

AnguaVonUberwald · 09/09/2008 13:04

yanbu, I hated this too apart from people I was really close too. One person at work who i had never even seen before touched it without asking for permission, just out of the blue, I totally flipped, which didn't seem to bother her at all!

Original poster

Upwind · 09/09/2008 19:09

The strangest time was at a funeral where I decided it would be really churlish to stop the grieving family from having a grope! I hope it brougtht them some comfort, circle of life and all that...

I've realised it might have a lot to do with the clothes I've been wearing. Winter woolies hopefully won't be so inviting.

OP posts:

notcitrus · 09/09/2008 20:11

YANBU at all.
If they ask first, I don't mind - I can then put their hand on it.

But I hate being touched unexpectedly anyway and my bump's been rather sensitive (bizarre: there's been a squishy fat layer over my tummy for years, then as soon as I get pregnant it vanishes just as it would have been useful!). I spent weeks walking with my hands covering the bump just because it was painful when I walked into things!

One woman at work caught me unexpectedly and plonked her cold hand on my bump. My screams got the entire floor rushing over to check I was OK... very embarrassing but no-one else has tried to grope me since!

LadySweet · 09/09/2008 20:14

yanbu - tummy touchers are infuriating!

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