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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not buy my daughter a birthday present?

17 replies

BitOfFun · 08/09/2008 11:58

It's my daughter's 8th birthday in two days and I am totally stumped. She doesn't talk, still in nappies (just to give you an idea of her development, ie. don't suggest a rainman-type gam,lol), main enjoyments are food and playing with balls, chucking random things round and physical stuff like playgrounds etc.

She will enjoy the sense of occasion around a song with a birthday cake, so I will do this, but I don't think she is going to get much out of a present IYSWIM, so would it be unreasonable not to get one? I've bought her things like mini-trampolines in the past, but she just doesn't stay interested in much for more than a few seconds. I can't think of anything she either hasn't got, or will look twice at.

I'm tempted to take her out to a soft-play session and just do a birthday tea - does that make me a lazy arse terrible mother though?

OP posts:
BitOfFun · 08/09/2008 11:59

She is autistic - thought I had said that straight off but didn't, sorry!

OP posts:
akhems · 08/09/2008 11:59

nope, YANBU to do something with her that she will enjoy

Uriel · 08/09/2008 12:01

YANBU. Having said that, would she enjoy something like a xylophone?

JuneBugJen · 08/09/2008 12:01

NO- think you sound great!!

Often dont buymine pressies at xmas, bdays etc, they already have enough crap and dont notice.

soft play is good idea.

Sparkletastic · 08/09/2008 12:01

Does she enjoy opening pressies? If so get her some clothes and sweets or useful stuff just so she can open something maybe?

wonderstuff · 08/09/2008 12:02

I don't think yabu, soft play sounds like a great alternative

MrsMattie · 08/09/2008 12:04

YANBU. You know her best and what she will enjoy on her birthday. If a present will be wasted, forget it. Soft play and birthday tea sounds lovely.

Upwind · 08/09/2008 12:05

can't soft play be a birthday present?
YANBU

SoupDragon · 08/09/2008 12:06

YANBU. Wrap up some of her favourite food treats if you want something to give her and she likes unwrapping things.

ingles2 · 08/09/2008 12:06

Not U at all... soft play and tea sounds perfect

Alambil · 08/09/2008 12:07

Who said presents had to be wrapped boxes?

If you don't go to softplay much; that'll be just as much as a gift than a barbie or whatever

Happy birthday to your DD

Sobernow · 08/09/2008 12:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MrsTittleMouse · 08/09/2008 12:10

Not unreasonable at all. We didn't get anything for DD when she was one, as she had stuff from other people and wouldn't notice any difference. Like everyone else said, if she likes unwrapping things then there are plenty of things that you could wrap up for the pleasure of tearing the paper. Soft play and tea sounds lovely.

jumpingbeans · 08/09/2008 12:11

YANBU, you know your lo and what she likes, and you will make it special for her doing things with her, happy birthday to your little girl

MrsStig · 08/09/2008 12:16

I think you should build her an entire soft play centre in your back garden for her.

bloomingfedup · 08/09/2008 12:17

YANBU, You know your own daughter - do something she will enjoy. There is no point in buying her something for the sake of it. Hope she has a lovley day.

BitOfFun · 08/09/2008 12:22

Thanks for all your replies - I feel a bit better now! I might go with a xylophone type thing, maybe from the charity shop as a token as I'm a bit skint and if she doesn't play with it much it's no biggie. Soft play then, and tea. I LOVE the idea of building one in the garden, lol! Unfortunately we only have a little yard, otherwise I would have hired a bouncy castle for her to play on all day without having to wait and take turns - bliss for her Shame we don't have the space, but if we get decent weather next year maybe I'll comandeer a granny's garden or something...Thanks again everyone.

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