to not share my email password with my dh?

[Sunnydaymostly]

The situation: DH wanted to print directions from an email I had been sent( me busy with DCs)logged him onto my email then he logged off and wanted to login again with me giving him my password. I refused and but offered to login again but all hell broke loose with what kind of partnership is this blablabla. How far does this sharing thing go? I have nothing to hide but need to feel( more so now I don't work)that something is mine and mine alone.

But would you expect her to only open a letter herself UQD if for example it was, let's say, from a holiday company that your holiday was booked with and she was in the bath but you needed to know what the price of the insurance was?
Or would you expect her to tell you to open it?

(Aside, where the hell have you been? You were on a 'who is missing from MN' thread and ^everything!)

Actually - I should clarify. We have the same set up as NDP so no need for passwords, but I never open DH's email unless it I know there is something in it that I need AND I have told him first.

I do open some of his letters - but only if they are bills/work related, and only because we have that arrangement. I would never open anything personal.

I know DH's email password, but not his PIN or his ebay password. He knows mine. I don't know why he won't share them, but it's important to him, and that's fine. Sometimes he gets weird ideas about things! But I trust him, so it's not a problem.

VS - I've been away on holiday, and then doing various Real Life stuff...

We'd have no problem opening individual items of each other's mail with prior discussion, no.

I know DH's passwords and he knows mine. For us it isn't a big deal. I open most of his post too, although I wouldn't open anything handwritten as it's a lot of fun to get "proper" post and I wouldn't want to spoil it for him.

Neither of us look without permission or good reason though.

See that's the point.

All the password does is enable access, just as something coming through a mutual letterbox does.

It doesn't mean that it will be opened.

We just have one email address for both of us, then I have microsoft outlook for my se that anyone can open by clicking on the icon.
We don't have a joint bank account but we have all the pins and account numbers and on line banking stuff written down and hidden, so either of us can go and look if we want to.

IMO if you have insurance to safeguard you in case something happened to the other one, then you need to be able to get access to their communication and money matters if you NEED to.

But we don't. To me its not about having privacy, its about having trust. Trust that your partner, even if they can access your email via password, will not open anything that comes in to that inbox. Same as they see what comes in the letterbox at home but would not open it. Although they may ask later 'what was that letter from the Inland Revenue about?' with a worried expression.

We have sep email accounts, and sep accounts on the computer so we each have to log in (different passwords). I don;t know DH's passwords and he doesn't know mine. I think it would be a bit odd if he demanded it - if he needs to get access to my account (e.g. for admin stuff as one computer is mine) he gets me to log in.

If I wasn;t around and he needed to get access though, I'd tell him my password and change it later.

to re-open an old MN debate, please get separate email accounts! Nothing more depressing than emailing [email protected]

Why don't you give him your password then go and change it? If he then uses it without you knowing about it he will find out but can hardly say "I need your new password as I tried to snoop in your email and couldn't" but if he IS intending to have a quick rummage it will stop him. He can also hardly say "oy! you changed it!" because the means by which he found that out is suspcious!

YABU. I have a seprate email from DH he doesn't usually look at it but if he needs to for any reason then I'm happy to let hom. I often forward emails to him from mine.

mmm, if you do share you feel compromised and if you don't then you are untrustworthy. Rather a double edged sword.
I have found things onmy Dh's email and mine is free for all, I rely on the fact I've nothing to hide but he respects me too much to pry? He was more evasive and so I felt I should look more and was right to suspect no affair or anything, but things I'd rather he didn't have.

i have nothing to hide, but DH (works in I.T) said he reckon he knows all my passwords anyway i was not happy when he told me, feel like i'm being snooped on.