to be annoyed that every year my ex husbands family send dd a card and gift addressing dd with their surname when she has mine and has since she was a baby.

[twinsetandpearls]

Her father never does it and it just confuses dd who has never used that surame.

I don;t see his family but have asked politely though ex husband if they could use the correct surname.

I am not sure why it annoys me so much but it does as well as annoying dp.

My dd does not have dp surname either as we are not married. If we get married and have children of our own they will also have my surname and dp will take on my name.

I suppose dp is aware of the history and witnesses there behaviour and this is the straw that breaks the camels back.

Oh they do sound horrible. Poor you and poor DD to have such uncivilised grandparents.

Maybe you just need to rise above it and not let it rankle - look at them from above with distance and good grace for bearing their ignorance and ill-will

Oh they do sound horrible. Poor you and poor DD to have such uncivilised grandparents.

Maybe you just need to rise above it and not let it rankle - look at them from above with distance and good grace for bearing their ignorance and ill-will

The surname change happened a while after the split and therefore should not be linked with my exs parenting qualities. It is not just his parents, it is his whole family.

Dd sees them in person very rarely and now that we have moved I doubt she will see them more than once a year at the most.

Tbh his mum is OK, she has come to ours for tea and she recognises that dp is one of the best things to happen to dd. It is his sister who rules the family that is the problem.

I will not write to them or have any contact, I will invite them to dd parties etc because they are dd family and I owe that to her. But I will not have any other contact.

They tried to get me sectioned after I had dd, they threw me and my daughter onto the streets. Falsely accused various members of my family of abuse. They had someone follow me in an attempt to build evidence of why I should not have custody of dd. They even tried to pay me to give them dd. I could go on but remembering all of this makes me angry.

It sounds as if you are already behaving very gracefully towards them.

Keep up the good work (and look down on them - in silence, of course - if it helps bear their bad behaviour better ).

Because I know that one day Anna8888 my dd will find out about all of this and I want to look her in the eye and say I tried to do the right thing.

You are quite right, twinset . It might hard and annoying, but you are doing what you should for your DD for the long term .

And parenting is a very long term business.

No I am probably a mug! I just don;t want to give my dd any chance to say that I behaved unfairly as I know that out of guilt they will try and make out I was in the wrong, and although I have made mistakes and perhaps not always acted as I should have done it has never been out of malice.