to not have mil to stay for Christmas

[cheshirekitty]

Every year we have my mil to stay for Christmas. This year we sold our 5 bed house and bought a 2 bed apartment. My 19 year old daughter will be home for Christmas and we will not have room for mil.

My husband phoned her to let her know and give her plenty of time to do something else. She had offers last year to go to her sils, but refused until we asked her to stay with us again.

She has told my sil she believes we only moved into a 2 bed apartment so we don't have to have her!!(Not true, it was done for financial reasons).

She has done loads of nasty things to me in the past, and just for once I would like a nice Christmas, just dh, me and dd.

So AIBU. Thoughts please.

Could you prime SIL in advance? Get her to invite MIL first? Then she can't complain that she has nowhere to go. Also, it must be a bit hurtful for SIL to know that her mum doesn't want to spend Christmas with her, but prefers to spend all of them with her brother.

I used to invite MIL over every Christmas, but when she turned up, watched me cooking dinner and then decided to spend the day with her "partner" and his family rather put paid to that. She doesn't get invited these days.

sil is mil's dil, like me. There are 2 brothers, my dh and my bil.

Sil also does a lot for mil, ie takes her shopping every week, sorts out loads for her, but mil always moans about her. But she moans about me to sil. sil and me get on really well, which is why we always have mil - to give sil and bil a break (but bil does not bother with mil at all). He always lands things on sil.

I just want a break this year, as last year she caused trouble (again), and for once I would like to go to my family (my sisters) on boxing day. (Have been invited to go there on boxing day and spend the night, but mil would not be able to come)

I originally thought you were bu, but having read the thread have changed my mind.

It sounds to me like she is fundamentally lonely. It also sounds to me like she has very loving DILs, who in their own way do do a lot for her (you with Christmas nearly every year, your SIL with day to day stuff). I think you both need a break.

Christmas can be a lonely time, our families are in Austrlia so it's nearly always "just us", and it is depressing.

I understand you want to just have a small family Christmas this year, nothing wrong with that. Could you maybe ask your MIL at another time so she doesn't feel completely cut off from her sons, and their families?

Agree too that it's really up to her boys to sort this out, not the DILs!

just have your christmas the way you want it. my brother hasnt been home for chirstmas since he went to university so be happy that your 19 year old is still coming home!

just dont bother with her and turn a blind eye to her wingeing