to think that 14 months is not too old to be 'still' breastfeeding, and to expect support from dh, not ridicule ...

[Reginaphilangy]

Dh is usually out for work before dc's and I are up in a morning. I breastfeed dd3 in a morning when she wants to and it has become obvious today that dh didn't know (?) that she was still feeding.

He got up with dd this morning (no complaints there!) and dd was at the bottom of stairs shouting 'mum'. I told him that she probably wanted feeding and to allow her to come up. His reaction was Not Good

Dh "Are you 'still' feeding her then?"
Me "Yes, i still offer, sometimes she wants it, sometimes she doesn't"
Dh "Why are you still feeding her, thats ridiculous - she doesn't need breastfeeding now"

I didn't even know what to reply

Why shouldn't she breastfeed now? She's still only a baby! I know that its not the norm, but surely its not ridiculous?? I really feel that he should support us in this, not make me feel that i'm doing something wrong.

So, please tell me, am i being unreasonable to expect him to support us? Or is he being unreasonable to act as though we're doing something wrong?

Just to add the WHO recommend bf to 2 years and beyond not up to 2 years.

Dh was bf till he was 4 so it was never going to be unusual or an issue for him but I can understand why for some it would be. I would assume once the normality of it is explained then it wouldnt be an issue.

An awful lot of people are unable to think outside the box on this one as it isnt normalised in this country but with a bit of exposure and education hopefully it will change.

make dh watch that babysitting program when it's on itv this week and maybe he will understand more... or just not think of it as weird when he's seen some of the people on there?

I breastfed ds until he was 3.1/2. Ok that was partly because it was a difficult time, he was regressing into autism and we both needed the comfort. However, Two of my friends with dcs the same age as my ds breastfed for longer than that so it wasn't an issue. I think you'd be surprised how many people do feed their toddlers, but because it is no longer done in public, usually just at bed-time or whatever, they just keep quiet about it for fear of 'comments'.

I fed dd2 till she was nearly 3, and I don't regret it

she wanted it, and it comforted her

I know the health benefits continue till at least 2, and then what do you say to the child? "No. That's your lot?"

to the poster who said it was time to reassess, it is time to do that when YOU want to stop, not when your dh thinks it should happen

I certainly got to a point where I wanted to stop, I still liked it, but it was getting a bit tying. I told dd that she was getting a bit older, she could have a feed, or would she like a beaker of milk? in time she chose the milk each time

she's now 3.9 and still remembers bfeeding, she says "Those don't have milk any more, I drank it all!" when she sees me getting dressed. I think that's lovely.

Breastfeeding beyond 14 months became normal in our household! The boys are 10 and 13 now so it seems like a lovely memory now. With rough moments too obviously..

I as mother didn't really get it about why the children liked breastfeeding so much, they just did.

My older one used to tell me to feed the younger one when I was insisting on being busy washing up..."Mummy, he wants you".

Tittybangbang, you need to show a little more tolerance for what other people think.

Weaning at 14 months isn't premature. A lot of children have lost interest months ago by that point.

You need to accept that other people's opinions are equally valid, and you shouldn't pick over my post, just because I dared to post my opinion, same as you did.

Tsk!

Ps, how can the op genuinely present her husband with a genuinely representitive 'vox pop' on extended breastfeeding if everybody who doesn't agree with you is shouted down!!?

You need to sit down and talk about it with him, you are both the parents.

Weaning at 14 months is premature; our culture and lifestyle promotes weaning, inadvertantly or not.

Cappucino; the reason the health benefits apparnetlyl stop at 2, is that in any study, children over 2 are lumped in together "bm for 2 years or more" group.

It's pretty likely that immunological benefits continue right up to when the immune system is completely developed, which is around 6/7

IMO, YANBU, and the WHO agree with me (as do the american association of pediatrics, and in fact pretty much anyone who's studied breastfeeding.

sorry, can you just clarify something?
whose breasts are they??????
exactly! stupid man, ignore him and do what is best for you and your DD. I'm still feeding my DD who is 2 in 3 weeks. I've managed to get her down to just once a day, before she goes to bed and that is our choice. My husband fully supports me and if he didn't I'd tell him to sod off! Ignorant pig!

NaughtiestGirl - you said it yourself - lots of children have lost interest (although I'd disagree with the "lots"), so for the children who haven't, it's premature weaning.
mumoverseas, I actually disagree with you. Yes they are her breasts but this is something that affects the family. If her DH has valid concerns about her breastfeeding then he deserves to be listened to, unlike a stranger who does deserve to be told to sod off.

Thanks all.

Yes, i know i need to sit down and talk this one through, but i'm not sure i want to know what his response will be. Nevertheless, it does need to be done.

I have quoted the WHO guidelines at him and he is aware of the benefits of bf-ing to both of us. Hopefully i can get him round to my way of thinking, failing that, get him to not comment either way because i'm not ready to stop for as long as dd wants to feed.

Just wish he didn't think it was ridiculous

Hope you can sort it out
I think I've read on here (don't quote me) that most of the "benefits" of bf have been shown to increase based on the length of time. No studies have been done beyond two years but it would seem that they continue to increase.