to want people to treat me like a proper mother!!

[teenagemumANDPROUD]

im so jealous of all you adult MNers

being a teen mum SUCKS. yes i've heard on condoms and yes they sometimes split.

nobody treats you like a mum if your a teenager they treat you like a silly little kid.

i am a good mum! dp is a good dad! why does it matter that im 15! ds gets just as good a childhood as you do and i'm still a straight A/B student, and dp is getting a degree

i am not scrounging money off you via benefits, i dont live in a council house, my parents do not raise my little boy

SO LEAVE US ALONE

sorry i've seen one to many documenteries about crappy teenage parents. its not an excuse to be a bad parent if your under 18!!

ive changed my name to avoid the backlash of this...

[bloomingfedup]

I haved nothhing but respect for you. Being youn has its advantages!

[noonki]

I have huge respect for you

I found being a teenager really difficult,

being a parent most certainly is

I know loads of teenage parents, some are not able to step up to it and some do it better than | ever could

I know loads of older parents, some are not able to step up to it and some do it better than I ever could

good on you,

[noonki]

did you ever see the youngest parents in britian of some other such titled programme

they had a couple on who had decided to have kids when they were 14

they had three children by the age of 19(ish)

one with downs, one with other SN and one with no SNs, they came across as better parents than I have seen, loving, full of energy, so positive about their children

ageism is rife

ignore it

[colacubes]

Being a mum is hard work, age just makes lifes lessons more well read, but age really is just a number, love and be proud. And the best way to prove them all wrong is to just do your best, your best will always be good enough.

[Jux]

I'm an improper mother

Good on you. You'll be kicking balls around and playing on the slide and your kids will love you for it.

I'm so old if I try to run every joint in my body cracks! And I'm just as confused and unsure about how to be a good parent as anyone of any age.

[hollyandnoah]

Hey,

I can only imagine how you feel, I am 22 and i still feel like people think i am a silly wee lassie. Really annoying!
My sister had her daughter when she was 16, she was a world champion dancer, she danced all over Europe. She just stopped and gave her everything to her daughter. I couldn't believe how much she grew up during her pregnancy.

[PinkTulips]

be strong, i know this isn't alot of comfort when people are being condecending and downright rude but you find as you and your child get older that feeling of being treated like the silly little girl at M&T groups and while out with your child does diminish.

i was 20 when i had dd and although it's not the same as what a teenage mum goes through it's alot of the same sort of treatment. when your preg everyone feels free to treat it as some sort of catastrophic event not the birth of a new life and once you have the baby instead of being welcomed into the mummy club you get patronising remarks and excluded at all social events, left in the corner and ignored while the 'real' mommies chat.

but the older your child gets and the more confidance you gain as a mother, and the more you see 'older' 'more qualified' women struggling just like you do and realise it's not your age it's just being a parent, the more you act like you belong in that mommy club. and suddenly you realise, you're still as much younger than them as you ever were, but you no longer feel like the outsider.

you're a mother whether you're 13 or 30 and there are good and bad examples in every age group.

you have one thing they'll never have though....... when your kids are grown and leave home, you'll be the age they are while dealing with screaming toddlers

[ScottishMummy]

unfortunately some people will stereotype.even here om mn too.so be your own person,be a good parent.have a laugh.

hey don't assume anyone else has it sorted.age doesn't confer ability

[ScottishMummy]

supportive and tactful as ever KM.OP didn't ask for your affirmation.she asked not be judged

[ScottishMummy]

that is a different debate.op is already a mum so lets empathise and support not finger wag

[thisisyesterday]

I wouldn't assume that a 15 yr old is a bad mum, or that she is incapable of taking care of a child or anything like that.

But when I think back to how I was at 15 (and boy, did I think I knew it all then lol) and how tremendously different I am now it's kind of scary.
You do get more mature with age, and yes, there is a great deal to be said about life experience and learning how to deal with people, and learning a lot more about yourself as well.

and I would not have wanted a child at 15 myself. I had a love/hate relationship with my teenage years, but I had a bloody great time when I was between 18-24 that I just wouldn't have had if I had had a kid.

crazy though. kids do seem a lot more mature these days than I was when I was htat age though

[ScottishMummy]

kerry this is a light-hearted discussion to support op.not a discourse on young mums per se

[thisisyesterday]

KM I don't think anyone on here is saying how fantastic it is to have babies at a very young age and/or encouraging others to do so.

that doesn't mean that all young mums are bad mums though does it?
and the fact is that the OP is 15, and does have a baby.
nothign you say will change that and you ahve absolutely no idea what her life is like or what her and her partner are like as parents so you can't really judge

[hollyandnoah]

So kerrymum, what do you suggest to a 13 year old who accidently falls pregnant? What do you say to a scared, worried girl, who knows she has done wrong, been foolish, maybe she is a bit ashamed..
Do you say 'Sorry i think you shouldn't have this kid' What would that do to her? What is the alternative to having the child? You can be a young mum and a great person. But please remember you can be an old mum and a complete idiot.

[thisisyesterday]

and those who have said positive things are here supporting someone who obviously needs it, and talking about their personal experiences of young mums.
that's what MN is about isn't it?

[PinkTulips]

i hate the presumption that all 15 year olds who get pregnant planned the pregnancy to scam benefits and get out of going to school

the few girls i know who had babies that young had unplanned pregs and stayed in school despite such a disruptive event in their lives, some of them even went to college and got degrees.

they provide as good a home for their child as any older mother.

yes there are teenage mothers who aren't exactly suited to motherhood and don't do a great job.... but then there are plenty of older mothers of whom the same could be said.

it's naive and ignorant to suggest that 'maturity' comes with age. maturity comes with experiance.... and motherhood is the most life changing experiance we undergo in our lives. most of us are immature fools until we hold our babies in our arms that first time, irrespective of age. just look at all the 'stupid things childless people say' threads and you'll remember how naive most of us are until we become parents.

[ScottishMummy]

age does not confer ability.plenty old gits plenty young gits

[thisisyesterday]

I don't think I would have been as good a mum when I was 15 as I am now.

that's all I was saying. I personally have become more mature as I have got older, and you just learn more about, I dunno, about everything.
I am finding it hard to explain. I was def too young at 15 though. but as I've said, that's just me, and not some sprawling generalisation of all teenage mums

[hollyandnoah]

So you would suggest a termination to a scared child?
Just read your profile, you're 45. So by 45 i would have thought you might have known the emotional mess a termination could leave someone. Especially someone so young.
And it is pretty shit that a mum of two would favour an abortion to a new life.