to want people to treat me like a proper mother!!

[teenagemumANDPROUD]

im so jealous of all you adult MNers

being a teen mum SUCKS. yes i've heard on condoms and yes they sometimes split.

nobody treats you like a mum if your a teenager they treat you like a silly little kid.

i am a good mum! dp is a good dad! why does it matter that im 15! ds gets just as good a childhood as you do and i'm still a straight A/B student, and dp is getting a degree

i am not scrounging money off you via benefits, i dont live in a council house, my parents do not raise my little boy

SO LEAVE US ALONE

sorry i've seen one to many documenteries about crappy teenage parents. its not an excuse to be a bad parent if your under 18!!

ive changed my name to avoid the backlash of this...

[ReallyTired]

ethanchristopher,

All of us make mistakes in life. Its wrong to define someone by a mistake that they made at 14 years olds old for the rest of their life. Its great that you are making a life for yourself and family.

In someways life is a bit of chance. A lot of us took really stupid risks when we younger and got away with it. Its rather like throwing a dice.

I just hope that you will be able to achieve your full potential in the workplace and at school.

[bloomingfedup]

"I understand that if the stereotypes don't apply to you then it must be frustrating but I don't think you can dispute that in the main a 14/15/16 yo is not going to be as well equipped as an older more experienced person to become a parent (male or female)."

I have to strongly disagree. This is like saying, 'I'm glad I had kids when I was older I have more patience' -How do you know?

[bloomingfedup]

"I understand that if the stereotypes don't apply to you then it must be frustrating but I don't think you can dispute that in the main a 14/15/16 yo is not going to be as well equipped as an older more experienced person to become a parent (male or female)."

I have to strongly disagree. This is like saying, 'I'm glad I had kids when I was older I have more patience' -How do you know?

[MrsSchadenfreude]

You sound like you're a real coper.

[ethanchristopher]

i was fourteen and a few months cause im nearly 16...

i understand what your saying cause i look at my little sister and i would be devestated if she was had sex so young - how hypocritical

but i cant turn back time, and i wouldnt

[MrsSchadenfreude]

I'm not doubting your parenting skills (I am considerably older than you and I don't think mine are up to much!), but I am a bit sad that a 13 year old - you said you are 15 now, and your baby is 18 months - is having sex. Thirteen is really young!

[ethanchristopher]

i work at a nursery after school for free so i get a huge discount and my family is very well off and help me out alot. ds only goes nursery two times a week cause 3 days my grandparents look after him.

i buy most of ds's clothes and toys e.t.c from charity shops, ebay and hand-me-downs

dp also has a job and i have a saturday morning job

its difficult but works out suprisingly well

imho if my family wasnt as well off as it was i would have to be claiming money off tax payers, but im just lucky i guess.

[BarbieLovesKen]

Ok, I really, really dont mean this in the way it make come across, just genuinely wondered -

If your 15, still in school and your dp is still in college - how are you not on welfare? how do you afford childcare for when your at school etc?

[cheesesarnie]

just wanted to say what a great op.people do stereotype but your not letting them.
one of the most amazing mums i know had her dc at about 15 i think-shes a fantastic mum and has always fought hard to not be labeled.i had my first at 21 but looked about 14 so always got nasty comments,filthy looks etc-i really think at 15 I wouldnt/couldnt have coped with motherhood(i barely can now at 30!)so well done you,huge respect for you.

[roseability]

It is relative to some degree

In some cultures teenage parenting is the norm

Western culture has made teenage parenting a stigma through expectations of adulthood, education and economic success

Thus when a women gets pregnant below the age of what our society expects she can automatically be socially isolated. This only serves to hold teenage mothers in the stereotype of bad parents. It is elf perpetuating and damaging

Age is irrelavent if all mothers are supported and mothering is revered as a fulfilling task for society as a whole. I think western culture is damaging to motherhood

Well done to OP for refusing to allow stereotypes to hinder your enjoyment of motherhood. I was 27 when I had DS, married, educated and economically stable. I ticked all the boxes. I had terrible PND which I got through and i'm not saying it made me a bad mother but it was still tough.

[notsoteenagemum]

Can't believe the hideous posts here I was a teen mum and would'v been much earlier if not for one miscarriage at 24 weeks-I was 15 and an abortion at just over 17.
Abortions are not the easy way out, I feel miscarriages happen for a reason, but abortion is self-inflicted and only gets harder IMHO when you have a healthy beautiful baby.
There is no perfect age to be a mum, especially when you'r body is far more mature than your mind.
I think any Mum any age who stands by there own beliefs and desicions deserves high praise indeed.

[VinegarTits]

Eathanchristopher, just seen this thread, i am a bit drunk late to it, i was a teenage mum (many years ago now) so i can relate to how you feel, being a mum first time is a new thing to everyone, young or old, you will benefit from being a young mum, as i do now(most people think i am ds1's big sister) all i can say is make the most of motherhood(i didnt apprieciate it, but do now second time round with ds2(2.1)) sounds like your doing a great job though but if you ever need advice, come and find me, and i'll point you in the direction of someone who can give it i will try my best to advise you based on my own experiences of being a teenage mum

[ShyBaby]

I salute you op, you're far more rational than me and im twice your age

[jimjamshaslefttheyurt]

I don't see anything wrong with needing support tbh. I've received a huge amount of support form my very wonderful mum because of ds1's disabilities. She makes me a saner parent, and the support she provides makes us a far happier family.

I see this as the same. It's a situation where someone might be expected to need more support, but they shouldn't be in some way penalised for it.

[ethanchristopher]

lol thanks

well id better scoot too

ds is up at 7.30 every morning

thanks for reinstalling my faith in mumsnet

cheers for the support

[thisisyesterday]

hehe ds2 is as well and he's only 10 months old. little climbing devil child he is.

[PinkTulips]

ethan.... my fat pregnant ass cannot tolerate this chair any longer so i'm off too.

well done for bringing a gorgeous little lad into the world and doing such a good job raising him.

be proud and whenever someone gives you a condescending look or comment remind yourself that when you're 35 you'll be on a grown up holiday relaxing with a cocktail by the pool instead of a caravan in devon with shrieking toddlers like other women your age

[ParCark]

Message withdrawn

[jimjamshaslefttheyurt]

DS2 is very laid back . And ds1 was as a baby/toddler, so I had years of peace.

Ds3 makes me laugh - he;s like something from the omen

[thisisyesterday]

excuse the number of "actually"s in that post :D

[thisisyesterday]

ds3 sounds like my ds2 jimjams. I think I deserve another laid-back one now.

actually I think YOU deserved a laid-back one actually. you're a bloody supermum, you really are

[jimjamshaslefttheyurt]

I'm off to bed.

ethanchristopher, look at your little boy before you go to bed and be very proud.

It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks. They don't see the things you do.

[berolina]

I don't think anyone was 'advocating' teen pgs as in 'this is something to aim and set out to do', but rather providing support for the mother's choice and not necessarily reverting to termination as default 'best for all concerned' option.

[ShyBaby]

Is this really the thread to be discussing teenage pregnancy? Why not start a new one.

No point whatsoever telling someone who already has a child that there were "other options".

The op didn't ask whether she should have had a child at 15. She had a child at 15 and is doing a grand job by the sounds of it. Give her a break.

[ethanchristopher]

KerryMum

whether you are 15 or 50, if you havnt had a baby before you dont have the experience or comprehehension

personaly i find my life caring for my baby boy the opposite of cold hard reality.

i have lots of experience with children from work and from my family

please dont stereotype or generalise. thats why i started this thread in the first place