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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To ask my FIL to please stop hissing at DD

37 replies

ThinWhiteDuchess · 04/09/2008 18:30

Following on from another thread which I did not want to totally hijack, can anyone please tell me how I can get my very sweet (step) FIL to stop bloody hissing at my 12 month DD? She hates it and screeches as soon as she sees him now, when she's normally a very calm, smiley little girl. If I am honest, I think I hate it more than she does!

FIL is in his 70s and very sadly had a massive heart attack last year which he only survived due to the very prompt actions of SIL who is a medical professional. He is a really nice man who wouldn't hurt a fly and I would hate to upset him, but everytime he sees DD (only a couple of times a month thankfully), he hisses at her! When they came the other day, DD & I went outside to greet them, she saw who was in the car & didn't stop crying until they left a couple of hours later. FIL hissed at her for pretty much most of those 2 hours! I hate it and just want to shout at him. DH just ignores it, although I know it winds him up too. What to do without causing any hurt?

OP posts:

Bonifacio · 05/09/2008 05:59

If I have the right noise from your description my Nan used to do it to me when I was little and still does sometimes. Always makes me laugh that she thinks its so funny, bless her.

Is it like a pretending to whisper noise you did as kids like pss psss psss or is it really a hissin psssst like they do in the movies to get someones attention??

If you don't like it and you dd doesn't like it can't you just tell him gently "I don't think dd likes that noise please don't do it" Surely He's not doing it on purpose to upset her and would probably be mortified that he is and would soon stop!!

Hope you get it sorted soon

WhatSheSaid · 05/09/2008 06:41

This thread is making me laugh.

My step FIl does the whistling thing at dd too. Really intricate whistling - kind of trilling. It sounds like the mating call of some rare bird on a nature documentary. I did think it a bit strange.

Cies · 05/09/2008 07:35

LOL everyone .

No funny noises from PIL here, but FIL does grab DN's cheek and do the 'who's got a lovely chubby face then?' while poor DN squirms.

theressomethingaboutmarie · 05/09/2008 10:15

My FIL made a clicking noise at DD from the first time he held her (she was 2 days old). All he does is click at her. Guess what, she now clicks - it's like living with a bloody dolphin sometimes! When the two of them are together, it drives me bonkers!

DaphneMoon · 05/09/2008 10:27

Thanks for letting us know white duchess, I saw your post yesterday and it went off in another direction and I was desperate to know what you meant by hissing. I am PMSL at these threads. Especially the cuckoo and the dolphins . Anymore anybody? I could read these all day!

notsoteenagemum · 05/09/2008 10:41

This thread is funny am creased at hissing and clicking and cuckooing old people.
However it is not nice if DD is distressed.
Only advice would be to say DD woke up in the night and was scared of hissing this actually worked with BIL Robbie who would constantly wind DD up she used to say stop it Robbie in her sleep, he felt dead guilty when I told him, he thought she enjoyed it.

chipmonkey · 05/09/2008 10:47

this reminds me of a locum GP who was standing in for my lovely GP. He blew at ds2 during the entire conversation and then misdiagnosed the problem. I returned 2 days later to see my GP and just knew by the receptionists resigned manner that there must have been tons of complaints about him!

FAQ · 05/09/2008 10:49

just be glad you don't live in Southern Africa then - instead of shouting "oi" or "hi" across the street at you people go

"psssst" (and it's a habit I've picked up which seems to work quite well - I can go "psssst" across a noisy room to my DS's and they turn round and give me their attention (don't even have to do it too loudly hehe)

EllieG · 05/09/2008 10:50

This thread is making me howl! No constructive advice sorry, but thanks for cheering me up with hissing and cuckooing old men

IgglepigglesBlanket · 05/09/2008 14:39

I would say "please don't make that noise,I know you don't mean to, but it seems to frighten her, and I'd hate her to be frightened of you" that should stop him quickly enough. If you're too the point then the problem will stop, and your daughter won't end up with a complex about your FIL.

horsygirl · 05/09/2008 14:56

OMG my step dad does EXACTLY the same!!!! And my mother clicks at the baby as well!!!!

ROFL thought i was the only one..

allytjd · 05/09/2008 18:05

My DAd does this too and he is scottish, he does it very quietly though and right in their ear so it tickles them, mine all liked it to be honest and now i catch myself doing it to babies too.

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