I need advice

[believeintheboogie]

dd wants a party, her first proper one as when I lived with exdh he squandered all our money away so we could never afford one.

Right now for the problem. DD wants to invite the whole class apart from the class "bully", I dont want him there either really as he had been very cruel to dd on both a physical and mental basis but I think it would be incredibly cruel to invite everyone but him, how do i handle this.

ahhh. kids are fickle...if the other girls know she is going to have a fabulous party, they'll be dying to be friends...

nowt wrong with a bit of buying friendship when things are a little difficult when kids are young...

in my experience, the secret is to do something different which no one else has done before! try a pamper party at home with nail varnish, or a cooking party..decorate cakes and biscuits with jam/nutella/icing pens etc.. or a bowling party, or a small group on a day out somewhere.. a local attraction? or a high school musical film and dress up at home party...a crockery painting party..cheap cups/plates from ikea and ceramic pens/paints, or t shirts with fabric paints....

iiwy, i would invite just the girls..all of them to something bigger but mangable, or a fery few (3/4/5) to something smaller but very special...

when i did my cinema party, i asked all parents to meet us there...i told them on the invitation they were welcome to stay for free...lots did, just for the occasion! there was no objection to them driving at all...i also put how long the party would last and asked for them to be collected at the drop odff point...

TheArmadillo dd does swimming lessons and seems to get on well with one little girl there even though they have only been going five weeks, the little girls mum has four children, three under 5 (multiple birth) and I have been wondering whether getting her dd to a party would be too much of a nightmare for her or a welcome break lol

What about a pottery party? Paint a plate/mug type thing,not a speechy or physical party at all.Smaller numbers acceptable with those type party.

ask her which it is. Be upfront - I'm sure she'll appreciate it.

Is there any others she could invite from swimming?

there's not a lot of mixing at a cinema party

thanks mellyonion and everyone else for the great advise,

busymum i dont think the child who we have had issues with would make any difference if at the party or not as he has tried to attack her infront of me and he bit a big chunk out of her face when a teacher was there, I think he has a lot of problems himself to be honest.

Maybe the just girls option might be a good one

what about inviting all the girls in the class??

Go ahead and invite the bully...and the parents. I've never seen anyone get their comeuppance as fast as a person that misbehaves at a party.
At best, they will behave and everyone will have a good time. At worst, they will leave early when it is apparent they aren't acting socially acceptable.
You will be the shining parent because you made the gesture of invitation. Your child will have her big party.
You probably can't expect everyone to attend...some may have other plans. Ask for a dated RSVP so you know how many to expect.

Ahh but how many times have you seen a little monster in full flow while their adoring parents look on with admiration... or worse still those who shout (encouragingly) "go on X, don't let him beat you - push him... PUSH HIM.....!!!!!". Oh the joys that are parents who don't know the word 'No'.

at singyswife. You can't put that.

You can't leave just one DC out. I would never ask the whole class anyway. I would just ask he to ask the ones she likes the best and wouldn't want more than 12 in total.

Invite them all, have a fab party for your DD and you may find that the one DC doesn't come anyway.

I wouldn't have a whole class party. From my experience with DS (now 10) who's not good at mixing in large groups, he was overwhelmed at the size of the gathering. (I did a joint sports party with another child from his class who's the same age). The most rumbunctious boys ran riot and it almost ended in an accident. Terrible headache all round. We ended up with 30 presents, some of which were too much, others of which were cheap and nasty and non-exchangable so I felt guilty for the waste as well.

Ultimately I've found that up to 10 is the ideal number (just in case of no-shows you don't want too few either). The best parties we've had so far are pizza-making parties at Pizza Express. You'll have to see if there's a local branch that does them of course. It's £9.95 a head, Mondays to Thursdays afternoons only. They have a ball dressing up as 'proper chefs', rolling out and making the pizzas and after a 20 minute wait, eating them. The price includes ice cream and cake and squash also. My tip though is to bring something for them to do while waiting for the pizzas to cook. Otherwise they run riot (see above). This year DS and I had fun writing a quiz (three rounds - split into teams so there's some competitiveness with sweets for the winning team of each round).

Another idea is to check if your local council runs art schemes. Ours offers an art fun party for around £100 for 15 children. They bring all the materials, including a dust sheet to protect your floor (or if you're lucky with the weather, they'll do it outside). We did this when DS was younger and it was great. Of course the play leaders are trained in keeping the children's attention so there's less hassle for you, other than feeding them at the end.

Good luck anyway!