I am but need to get it out.

[shoot]

MIL always whinges that she never gets to look after son but she is a SERIOUSLy toxic parent and grandparent. To a ridiculous degree. And she is an unhealthy person for my DS to be around.

I always say well you never ask even though I tell you to.

Tonight she has rung and asked to mind him and I can't think of a good excuse so I'm having to say yes she can have him Wednesday afternoon.

When she will tell everyone he is her DS and probably take him to see DP's bitch ex fiancee, who still wants my DP, and then tell me all about it.

She will do anything to wind me up, not give him his medicine on purpose and make me never want him to go there again.

But I've had to say yes to be reasonable. Urgh.

What d'ya reckon?

[lizandlulu]

i think she needs to get herself down to the gp and get checked out.

i hope you manage to find the words, it is awful when you have to tell someone no, but it is your feelings that count here, there is nothing better than a mothers instinct.

[3andnomore]

oh rihgt...that "kinda" explains it...but tis still weird....

[shoot]

Thanks Liz, I actually thought I was being really unreasonable but everyone has said I'm not so I can't be!

[Twelvelegs]

Um, and you think you may be unreasonable, why?????
Don't allow him to go, at all. If she wants to see him make some excuse like he wants to give her a tea party and stay yourself, or cinema together... anything other than leave him alone there whilst you sit alone and panic elsewhere.

[lizandlulu]

yhe more you thnk about it the more you will get yourself worked up and the worse you will feel. especially now after getting everyones elses opinions, you know its not normal.

[EustaciaVye]

I feel a bit sorry for her.

Why cant you stay with DS when she sees him? Then she gets to see her grandson but you are there to make sure he is well looked after.

She is having him in the afternoon so is unlikely to need to bath him.
Can you give him his meds before he goes there to ensure he gets them?

And if you feel this strongly your DH needs to deal with it. If you feel as stongly as you sound then you shouldnt have a problem telling him how you feel.

[shoot]

Well DS is there now

DP thought I was being unreasonable not to let her mind him as she's always drumming into him how she has so much right to our DS as he's HER grandson blah blah.

She doesn't want us around. When the baby was a few days old, we took him to see her and she kept trying to wake him up and poking him and when DP told her not to she started yelling for us to go and leave her alone with her grandson! really annoyed me.

She just wants him all to herself and makes it very clear that I'm not welcome. I'm only leaving DS there for 2 hours and I've made sure SIL will be there.

Still uncomfortable. Going to subtley put a stop to it from this point on.

[Bonifacio]

Hope everything went ok for you DS at MILS and you weren't too stressed about it!

[EustaciaVye]

You just need to insist that you are there too, until you are comfortable she is looking after him to your satisfaction.