to be upset that my best friend said she didn't like my other friends

[susia]

My best friend and I have been friends since we were 15, over 20 years. We both have alot of other friends. Mine are quite varied but people I am friends with for various reasons, all lovely in different ways.

When I had my DS (5) christened a few months ago my best friend was one of the godmothers. All the children took off their shoes and somehow my BF's son ended up with an identical but more worn pair. I phoned around my friends afterwards to see who had picked up the wrong pair and gave my BF the number of another friend whose son had the same pair. Anyway, they both obviously thought they were right and although I'm sure she was really polite about it at the time my BF told me how annoyed she was about it.

Last week, after a few drinks my BF was telling me how she was still really annoyed and called my other friend a 'thief'. I said that there had just been a misunderstanding but she said 'I hate her!'. She also said other friends of mine who were there were really posh etc (which they aren't, including my aunt (who is!) and said she didn't like another friend of mine.

I have known this about her before, she has in the past made it clear she hasn't liked and ex-boyfriend and various other friends of mine but I have never said anything. But this night, I defended my friend over the shoes and my other friends who she called posh and said it was untrue and unfair.

I would never dream of speaking about her friends like that.

Anyway, she hasn't been in touch since and I don't know what to do. She is my oldest and closest friend, I don't want to lose her but I think it really disrespectful to be so rude about people I am close to.

I'm far from organised generally, but I never want a dispute like the one your friend is in atm. I know that I'd be peed off big style if either of my Dc's lost shoes though and in a situation like a party/get together where kids might get clothes lost/taken/misplaced etc, it's better to have names in everything. So far, in 10 years of Motherhood, my Dc's have never lost a shoe I've been lucky I guess, but then again, I'm always checking! I even considered putting my phone number in Dd's sandals because a)they are beautiful and b)they were £32.00 and I couldn't afford another pair. Dd seems to have stopped taking them off though, so I just do my regular checking thing(OCD).
For your friend though...write their names in it...no argument then is there.

agree with regularlyoverwhelmed. Get the shoes back, then your bf has no cause to be difficult.
Sounds to be that she is hugely resentful that your other friends are better off: is she going through a particularly tough time financially at the moment?

Havent read all of the replies but I personally doesnt think that it matters if she likes your friends.

I have a childhood friend from school, she was one of my bridesmaids last year.

However, we are completely different and my "new" friends are much more like me. I know my old school friend considers them a bit up themselves (!). She would probably think that about me if we hadnt shared all our teenage experiences and stayed life long friends.

I dont mind that she doesnt like them, but would never expect her to tell them so!

I tend to save my time with her as just the two of us and we can be like we were in our school days, just nattering. She is a treasured friend, and its quite nice to have someone with such a different set of life values to myself!

Sorry it should read "dont think that it matters", not concentrating.

I can't change the shoes over as both the children have since outgrown them! both of them had practically done so at the time as well. My son's christening - there were 25 or so children at the house, don't know why some took their shoes off but they did!

NONE of my friends like each other.