to have asked this person not to swear in front of my children?

[Amethyst86]

At the park with dc. A fight broke out between two children. The mother of one of the children came up and starting telling both children off, tbh she was a bit shouty. Father of the other child got up and said quite angrily "Oy, stop f*cking shouting at my kids", he said it a couple of times, quite loudly and made my dd (23 months) jump, also ds was looking scared both by the fight and the row.

I said "Would you mind not swearing and shouting in front of my children please, I understand you are angry I would be too if someone shouted at my kids but you are making it worse", whereupon he turned on me and shouted at me to "shut up I only swore once, I was pissed off, shut your mouth, my missus will be back in a minute and you can take it up with her".

I suppose I should have been grateful that he recognised that fact I was a woman and decided to set his wife on me instead of himself.

DH says I shouldnt have said anything and just left. What would you have done?

It's all very well getting pious about how people should meddle intervene more but FFS, a verbal argument between two by-the-sound-of-it well matched adults that is acutally NOT YOUR BUSINESS is not the best time to start getting all Concerned Citizen.
It's brave to intervene when someone is being assaulted/robbed or a crime is being committed (though within reason, if you've got a baby in a buggy with you don't start chasing a gunman) but the incident described here sounds more like someone being officious and sticking her beak in where it wasn't wanted or needed.

Not unreasonable to not expect that kind of behaviour (honestly, am really starting to dislike the world, think I may go and re find my cotton wool?!)

However, not sensible to intervene.

We were at the top of Snowdon 3 weeks back with DD (too young to understand swearing!) but lots of school holiday kids around and the men working on the new cafe construction up there were swearing (loudly) to include the c word (I know I might be shouted at for being self righteous or similar but I don't think its acceptable)

Fortunately another bloke on the construction site shouted "language guys theres kids about" - good on him. He was a good 20 years older than the others.

I think some people do it without realising (esp when angry) rather than to cause any real offence.

so the prigs are taking over? Brilliant

i would have moved away sharpish shouting,swearing = bampot.best avoided esp MrsBampot

am I prig? Had never heard of it before, its actually a great word! Will be sure to use it in R/L

prig (IPA: /ˈprɪg/, sometimes spelled prigg) is someone who shows an inordinately zealous approach to matters of form and propriety; especially where the prig has the ability to show his/her superior knowledge to those who don't know the protocol.

Priggish-ness can be viewed as a symptom of institutionalisation, whether it be in politics, the armed forces or public school.

A prig is generally a passive-aggressive, instigating fights rather than partaking of them. The prig is a survivor and will unconsciously attach him/herself to any group that would seem to further his/her prospects.

I think you were in danger of really inflaming the situation when you challenge someone who is angry with someone else and you butt in. Better to move away and say to the kids that the man was very angry and said bad words if necessary.
If people are swearing without being furious it's more appropriate to say, 'sorry, there are kids here, could you mind your language please'. They are more receptive to listening. I think knowing your audience is important.

I had a bit of a set-to in the park recently when someone started shouting very aggressively at my son with SN who had grabbed her sunbat in annoyance (after the child had spent a good 20 minutes kicking him and laughing at his speech impediment while his carer sat on her arse someone else). I was very, very, very angry and if someone had butted in, I really couldn't tell you how inappropriate my language might have been.

if you he's daft enough to be effing and blinding hs's pretty loon.move away dont get involved

not the time for righteous i say indignation
regardless of how right you are in principle

unlikely he will say "gosh yes one shouldn't remonstrate and swear.i i shall refain

I wasnt being a prig re swearing. I was not attempting to poke my nose into a situation that did not concern me between two well matched adults. My children were frightened, my dd jumped and started to cry when he yelled his head off about 30 inches away from her head as she climbed up the climbing frame and my ASD ds starting saying "oh, oh, oh, oh" in his panicky voice and jumping around as he does when he is scared. That is why I intervened. I am going to stop my children from being frightened if someone is doing it.

BTW the wife came back and he filled her in on the incident and then started shouting "just leave it, just leave it!" when she started to go over to the woman who had shouted at her ds, where would that have ended? These are people who obviously think shouting and being violent around kids is ok. I am not going to let people like that make my children frightened in a park of all places. I am glad I said something but I do take on board all the opinions on here.

OK, so that is a bit different; that wasn't quite clear from your first post and I think most people would have said something if their own DC were being threatened.

Amethyst...that sounds like a tough and rough woman that knows her good for nothing hubbie...

and phew, am I glad I am not the only one to think it is not a good idea to get involved in that kind of going on...honestly that is why people are killed..tis not just the heroes....

to aggrivate an aggrivated person is not a good idea....
does not mean the violent of the worls should rule..but I take that " I pick my fights" rule that comes into play here too

I think you did the right thing (although would've been the shouting not swearing that would have bothered me). Your dc were being frightened, you asked him to tone it down a bit, fair enough.

Hopefully he went home feeling a bit of a plank & will think twice next time...

raven, thing is, there is a far lbigger cance that he went selfrightiously home thinking tohimself that that stuoid bitch had no right to intervene in his fucking business...iykwim
he would not have felt stupid....or I doubt it anyway....

Well yeah, entirely possible!

But he was obviously in full on righteous indignation mode (how very dare that woman shout at my dc) & having it suddenly brought home to him that actually he was now the scary shouty adult frightening children...it might've hit a nerve, you never know...

hmm, personally I truely doubt that..sorry...just down to my personal experiences though...honest, op was lucky not to be assaulted infront of her kids, that were already upset just by shouting and swearing....