To be really upset and pissed off about this?

[muminthecity]

Worked all day today, picked dd up from my mum's on way home, dd had massive tantrum as didn't want to leave her nana's house and screamed blue murder. I ended up carrying her to the end of the street, couldn't go any further as she is very heavy and I am very weak! Put her down, she refused to walk. I told her we'd stay there for a little while until she'd calmed down a bit (she was still screaming-in a tantrum-y way, not an upset way.) I then said "Come on dd, take deep breaths and try to calm down a bit." She screamed louder. I said "Come on dd, I don't want to hear any more screaming." A woman I have never seen before then walked up to me and said "Well it's not about what you want to hear, she's just a child for God's sake!" To which I replied "Yes, MY child!" She then said "Well she's clearly upset, you could try to be a bit more caring!" I was fuming! I told her to keep her nose out of my business, picked up dd and stormed off. I am still LIVID with this woman. I was stressed and had a train to catch, I did not shout, swear, smack, say anything nasty etc. Dd is 3 and it was a tantrum, she wasn't in any distress. AIBU?

No, you are not. Silly woman. Ignore her.

No YANBU. She was out of order imo. Sounds like you were handling it fine and she just stuck her nose in.

probably the woman doesnt know your dd and doesnt know that she was only tantrumming and not actually upset. though i would have been annoyed too.

tip for next time that works evertime with my dd. just calmly say "well i have a train to catch so im not staying here, ill see you when you get home" then walk away slowly without looking back. i guarantee she will follow you.

If that woman was an MNer, she'll probably start and AIBU thread entitled - "to shout at the woman having her go at her hysterical toddler?"

BTW YANBU - she should have kept her nose out.
And this is exactly why I get a bit at threads criticising some random stranger's parenting, you rarely get the whole picture.

I often get odd looks when I am sat in the middle of the street with DD because its easier than fighting her tantrum.
Sat outside Mac (posh make up store not PC place) on Sun while she was having a little strop, got some odd looks.

I think as a mother, you never win. But if it makes you feel better, YANBU

YA so NBU.

Think I would have had to stop myself lamping her. Hate it when people but in like this when they have no effing clue what has gone before.

Different like you say if you had been being nasty to dd or physically abusive. But sounds like you were handling it just fine.

Ds had a tantruym in ikea once - full on rolling in the aisle shouting - and dh and I afer trying briefly to reason with him and failing were doing the ignore him thing. We were obviously with him as we were only a couple of metres away but within about 1 minute there had already been several people stopping and cooing at him with comments like 'oh dear whats the matter' etc etc. I appreicate they were probbaly trying to be nice and noone said anything disparaging to us but it was a bit annoying to be undermined like that.

Not in this league though!

SSSSBTSS - tried that with my DD, she doesn't follow. She's stubborn. Like her mother

Someone called my friend a 'bad parent' in the supermarket because her ds was screaming. He wanted the sweets in the trolley, that was all.
YANBU

ah but when dd wont follow me i find a corner/wall to hide behind nearby and watch her from around the corner realise that she cannot see me anymore panic and then run in the direction she saw me last.

Thankyou everyone, am trying to forget about it, but I'm still raging!

Shesells - the walking away thing does usually work but we were at the side of a busy main road so didn't really want to risk it.

YANBU you did well not to tell her to f off! Why don't people mind their own bloody beeswax.
shesells - I wish that worked with my 3 yr old but she just laughs at me and starts walking in the other direction....