Cats! aargh - a rant (feline lovers don't read this)

[knickerelasticjones]

We live in a lovely street, little houses, little gardens all very victorian and charming.

Except....

Why? WHY? do all of my neighbours persist in getting cats? Seriously almost everybody has not one cat, but TWO. And I am fed up - every single morning my garden is covered in cat poo. I've tried cat pepper, lion dung (yes really) all sorts of things to keep them out but nothing works really. The thing that really pisses me off is that the cats use my garden as a latrine as I have lawn and plants - as opposed to most of my cat owning neighbours who have thoughtfully paved / decked their gardens so the cats CAN'T GO TO THE LOO THERE.

It's not the cats that I'm annoyed at really - hey they're just doing what comes naturally. It's the neighbours. And I like my neighbours, I'm just so fed up of this.

I had to remove cat shit when I was pregnant, in spite of the risks just to allow my DD to play in the garden.

My DDs pop up tent and tunnel thing has now been ruined as a cat sprayed/peed all over it and it stinks. But what can I do? I don't know which moggy is the offending one so I can't very well go and bill the owner (not that I would anyway - I'm not really very assertive about such things).

I think the only answer is for me to leave some of DDs dirty nappies in the cat owners gardens. As a king of payback - now that's not unreasonable really, is it? is it?

Not those ropey French toilets.

If you have room, can I also request, on behalf of my feline muckers, that you install a spa bath type thingy, because terrorising neighbourhood and shitting on gardens is stressful work, man

Ahh Knickers you have my sympathy, I started a similar thread in sn yesterday after spending most of the morning cleaning cat shit off of my ds & disinfecting the downstairs after he had walked it through he house.

I hate the cat poo in our garden. The super soaker works wonders. It doesn't seem to deter the cats but it makes me feel much better.

I like the idea of catching all "stray" cats and taking them to the pound. Surely if they are in your garden they are definately strays? I wouldn't want them hurt but I would like the owner to keep them inside. Cats destroy wildlife, they are pests.

I am not a pest. I am a cat wot demands respect

I like my arse and fart in your general direction

Sorry, that should be lick my arse.

It's hard typing with paws

My client has informed me of this highly insulting thread and demands that I request an offical apology before we proceed wiht legal action.

I have installed this MrP.

rofl Fabio

Fancy meeting later to tip some dustbins over?

he is a right bruiser.
I on the other hand favour cahsmere coats

You would need more than a waterpistol to stop me crapping in your garden!.... and a cowpat would be something worth complaining about! .....

I guess one solution would be to sell up and go and live in a block of flats?

Have to admit to never having this problem although I do have a severe problem with bird poo on our lawn, does anyone know of a cat going spare?

I'm up for a bit of dustbin tipping, though I have been involved in a Keep Britain Tidy thang forthe Sunday Times with Bill Bryson. Apparently. Ahem.

So you shove em over and I'll stand back and watch.

I have infiltrated MNHQ and discovered the names addresses and OS map co-ordinates of the cat haters.

I'm rounding up MrP, piratecat et al.
We're meeting at the curry house.
Then we'll be round.

WE have a motion sensor spray that you can attach to the hospipe. You just plant it in your garden and it 'machine guns' water across the garden when it detects movement. It's really effective, and it sort of 'trains' the local cats to stay away, so that when it is not turned on, for example in winter when it might freeze, the cats will still avoid your garden.

They cost about £50 but I really think they are worth it, especially if you cost in the fun of watching your human friends jump out of their skin when you 'forget' to tell them it is on!

Our garden was a real toilet for the local cats - many of whom come from households where their own garden is paved over...grrr!

Message withdrawn

nervousal i am actually quite shocked and disgusted at your suggestion.

Firstly taking someones' property without their permission is stealing! No?

Secondly, the organisations that are put in place to care for abandoned and abused animals are charities, and are over stretched at the best of times without having to look after much loved family pets that have been stolen.

Some cats are too old to be re homed. Guess what happens to them?

Lots of people on MN and in RL have problems with neighbours kids hanging around outside their homes, causing damage. Is it therefore acceptable to round them up,drive them far away and dump them?

Whilst i accept you say this is only a suggestion i think it is out of order to even imply it. I really do hope that you never loose a pet.

heifer... my stray cat moved her four kittens in last week.... you pay the postage and i'll be happy to ship them over to you

geordie, just ignore her. there are always animal hating freaks who'll try and wind people up by saying shit like that. i once had a taxi driver spend a wole trip home from the train station making jokes about stopping to dump my cat in the river and telling me about all the dogs he's trained to kill his neighbours cats. it's sad pathetic and these people will have karma come bite them in the ass when they least expect it one day. i don't waste my time responding.

anyway, anyone who's lost a pet rings every animal shelter in the city trying to find them so all that would happen if someone did catch them and dump them on shelters is they would get into a whole heap of trouble.

If any neighbour of mine stole my cat I reay wouldnt beheld responsible for my actions... It would be an all out hate campaign.....

Another vote for the sonic repeller thingy here. Worked a treat for us. Cats won't even cross our garden now they all walk round on the fence.
Our main problem wasn't the pooing (they prefer next doors gravel for that) but our garden seemed to be the designated killing floor. It was constantly strewn with the carcasses of dead birds and other assorted wildlife.

cat shit through the letter box to say the least

Never mind cat shit - I would be shitting through their letter box!!

get a greyhound - You'll never see another cat again unless it's lifeless body is hanging limply out of your greyhound's mouth!!! (I'm a cat lover AND a greyhound lover by the way and always muzzle my dogs - just to avoid any personal attacks here!)

I'm quite tempted to donate my shat on veg to the neighbours with the cat and not tell them what their delightful little ball of shit fluff has done on it.
We have lots of dogs round here but its not dogs barking that wake me up at night its the cats fighting.
I seem to be going off felines.

Get a man (dh/dp? - don't know your circs) to come and "spray" your garden wall!

I have 3 cats but do sympathise with you. In our old flat, our 2 old girls were terrorised by next door's tom, who started coming in through our cat door and eating our cats' food. DH p*d on the doorstep by the flap every night for a week. The cat never came back. I don't know whether to or at this revelation.